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So I was driving on the freeway, coming home from college, while listening to the Sri Sikshastakam by Dravida Prabhu (which i downloaded from youtube in mp3 format; link at the bottom if anyone is interested). 

Anyway, around 3ish there is heavy traffic along the I-5 freeway in San Diego, so I was moving along, and my eye shifted towards the passenger seat because I saw something through my peripheral vision. It looked like a stick, so as I leaned in (the car was stopped fully of course), and I saw something move, and I realized it was a bee! I'm not much of an insect person, and not much a bee person, but for some reason I really didn't feel fear (Krsna's grace as Abhayacharana :) )... So my eye keeps shifting back to the bee who wasn't moving (except maybe a leg or two), and by the looks of it he was about to die. 

Since I was in heavy traffic, i couldn't do much, so I just turned up the volume of the Sri Sikshastakam and loudly sang along. Just thinking how fortunate this bee was, made me feel chills throughout my body. 

By the time I got home, it almost seemed like the bee was dead, but suddenly it moved a leg (music was still playing, and by now the Sikshastakam was replaying), so I waited patiently, left the music on, and went to put my things inside the house. I came back a while later, saw the bee dead, while the music was on, and just thought to myself how fortunate this little bee must be to fall into my car out of all the millions of cars, to listen to Hare Krishna and Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's Divine Instructions on Bhakti before passing.

It just made me think about what I want to do with my life a bit more. I was always on the edge between family life (for parents sake) or sannyasa (for my sake), but this experience has really changed my mind. I want to serve Krsna, and I want to sing and dance for those who are about to move on in life, because seeing them progress ever so slightly in bhakti just feels my heart with such happiness and joy, something that I have honestly never felt before. There was just something about that little fellow's passing that melted my heart. 

It makes me think back at everything I do in life, or what others do in life, and I ask myself, why? It's so obvious that this material world is full of suffering (and as Dravida Prabhu's poetic translation of the Sri Sikshastakam goes - "This whole world is nothing but a vast and joyless void"), then why would anyone want to fool themselves into thinking that it isn't, and rather full of life and zest and enjoyment? The obvious answer is because people want to enjoy, but they don't realize that enjoyment comes from pleasing the Lord. And it's important that people know this! 

I'll be honest, my goal in life was to serve Krsna and go to Goloka, it was a straight path, no obstacle plan. But I don't know, after this incident, even Goloka doesn't have that same attraction. I just started thinking how "awesome" it would be to just take countless births again and again and just show people the art of loving Krishna, because that's the secret to everything. 

To end, I find it humorous how Krishna shows His unlimited mercy. I've talked to a few devotees on the site and with friends about my confusion in life. But Krishna, in one hit, just gave me the answer I have kept bugging him with :) I have no idea where i'm going with this post, but I wanted to share my experience, and hope that we all can join together in sharing this wonderful and ever so glorious feeling to others, the feeling is better than anything else (and I may be out on a limb here, but even while bathing my Makhan-Chor, I felt such bliss, but even that doesn't compare to the bee incident!)...

Gaura Prema Anande... Hari Hari Boll!!!!!!!!!!

Radhe Radhe fellow devotees, I wish you the very best in your KC life :)

As promised here is the link for the Sri Sikshastakam that I listen to in the car- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjVWrYwHXCw

If people are interested, I can upload the MP3 (to a 3rd party site such as MediaFire) and give you the link or you can download it through numerous converters (both online such as zamzar.com or downloadable programs such as FreeYoutubetoMP3 by DVDVideoSoft)