Is it too much to ask of women these days to let their husbands enjoy a relatively superior position in their relationship as husband and wife?

Hare Krsna

It is not too difficult to understand the psychology of a man. It is natural for a man to be a protector for his family or atleast think like one.

Srila Prabhupada explains how a healthy marriage works:

" Cyavana Muni was very irritable, but since Sukanya had gotten him as her husband, she dealt with him carefully, according to his mood. Knowing his mind, she performed service to him without being bewildered. "
Srimad-Bhagavatam 9.3.10
PURPORT
This is an indication of the relationship between husband and wife. A great personality like Cyavana Muni has the temperament of always wanting to be in a superior position. Such a person cannot submit to anyone. Therefore, Cyavana Muni had an irritable temperament. His wife, Sukanya, could understand his attitude, and under the circumstances she treated him accordingly. If any wife wants to be happy with her husband, she must try to understand her husband's temperament and please him. This is victory for a woman. Even in the dealings of Lord Krsna with His different queens, it has been seen that although the queens were the daughters of great kings, they placed themselves before Lord Krsna as His maidservants. However great a woman may be, she must place herself before her husband in this way; that is to say, she must be ready to carry out her husband's orders and please him in all circumstances. Then her life will be successful. When the wife becomes as irritable as the husband, their life at home is sure to be disturbed or ultimately completely broken.
In the modern day, the wife is never submissive, and therefore home life is broken even by slight incidents. Either the wife or the husband may take advantage of the divorce laws. According to Vedic law, however, there is no such thing as divorce laws, and a woman must be trained to be submissive to the will of her husband. Westerners contend that this is a slave mentality for the wife, but factually it is not; it is the tactic by which a woman can conquer the heart of her husband, however irritable or cruel he may be. In this case we clearly see that although Cyavana Muni was not young but indeed old enough to be Sukanya's grandfather and was also very irritable, Sukanya, the beautiful young daughter of a king, submitted herself to her old husband and tried to please him in all respects. Thus she was a faithful and chaste wife.

Hari bol

Hare Krsna Prabhu

" dampatye 'bhirucir hetur

mayaiva vyavaharike

stritve pumstve ca hi ratir

vipratve sutram eva hi "

TRANSLATION

Men and women will live together merely because of superficial attraction, and success in business will depend on deceit. Womanliness and manliness will be judged according to one's expertise in sex, and a man will be known as a brahmana just by his wearing a thread.

Srimad-Bhagavatam 12.2.3

In the light of this verse from the Srimad-Bhagavatam we need to realize how much of it is coming true.

It is unfair to comment on the conditions prevalent in Kali-yuga while seeking moral justification from the conditions in other ages. In Treta-yuga or Dwapara-yuga there were no divorces, what to speak of high divorce rates that are increasing alarmingly as of now.

Even 500 years ago, during the times of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu there is no mention of divorces happening in Sri Caitanya-caritamrta.

" A corollary point established in this verse is that in the age of Kali a woman is considered " a good woman " if she is sexually attractive and indeed, sexually efficient. Similarly, a sexually attractive man is " a good man ." The best example of this superficiality is the incredible attention twentieth-century people give to materialistic movie stars, music stars and other prominent figures in the entertainment industry. In fact, pursuing sexual experiences with various types of bodies is similar to drinking old wine from new bottles. But few people in the Kali-yuga can understand this. "

Purport to the same verse 12.2.3

" In Kali-yuga this deep understanding has been almost lost, and, as stated in this verse, men and women combine like animals, solely on the basis of mutual attraction to bodies made of flesh, bone, membrane, blood and so on. In other words, in our modern, godless society the weak, superficial intelligence of humanity rarely penetrates beyond the gross physical covering of the eternal soul, and thus family life has in most cases lost its highest purpose and value. "

Purport to the same sloka SB 12.2.3

Now coming to you Prabhu, let me remind you of what you said about current affairs. It seems they are not important to you. So, I am not going to argue with you at all. The TRANSLATION AND PURPORT that I have just quoted was done by disciples of Srila Prabhupada after his departure. But, it was still done in the last century. Before, internet and before AI. That's why they speak about the great attention recceived by movie stars of the 20th century. Things have changed incredibly since then also. That means the rate of detioration of Kali-yuga has accelerated in the 21st century. I am saying that the sloka under consideration has reached its maturity with respect to time because that is what I feel. However, If you still want, I can delete this discussion also. I am done discussing something nobody understands or appreciates anymore!
Hari bol

Replies

- Madhava das > Bharat August 18, 2025 at 4:51am
  
  Hare Krsna Prabhu
  
  " dampatye 'bhirucir hetur
  
  mayaiva vyavaharike
  
  stritve pumstve ca hi ratir
  
  vipratve sutram eva hi "
  
  TRANSLATION
  
  Men and women will live together merely because of superficial attraction, and success in business will depend on deceit. Womanliness and manliness will be judged according to one's expertise in sex, and a man will be known as a brahmana just by his wearing a thread.
  
  Srimad-Bhagavatam 12.2.3
  
  In the light of this verse from the Srimad-Bhagavatam we need to realize how much of it is coming true.
  
  It is unfair to comment on the conditions prevalent in Kali-yuga while seeking moral justification from the conditions in other ages. In Treta-yuga or Dwapara-yuga there were no divorces, what to speak of high divorce rates that are increasing alarmingly as of now.
  
  Even 500 years ago, during the times of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu there is no mention of divorces happening in Sri Caitanya-caritamrta.
  
  " A corollary point established in this verse is that in the age of Kali a woman is considered " a good woman " if she is sexually attractive and indeed, sexually efficient. Similarly, a sexually attractive man is " a good man ." The best example of this superficiality is the incredible attention twentieth-century people give to materialistic movie stars, music stars and other prominent figures in the entertainment industry. In fact, pursuing sexual experiences with various types of bodies is similar to drinking old wine from new bottles. But few people in the Kali-yuga can understand this. "
  
  Purport to the same verse 12.2.3
  
  " In Kali-yuga this deep understanding has been almost lost, and, as stated in this verse, men and women combine like animals, solely on the basis of mutual attraction to bodies made of flesh, bone, membrane, blood and so on. In other words, in our modern, godless society the weak, superficial intelligence of humanity rarely penetrates beyond the gross physical covering of the eternal soul, and thus family life has in most cases lost its highest purpose and value. "
  
  Purport to the same sloka SB 12.2.3
  
  Now coming to you Prabhu, let me remind you of what you said about current affairs. It seems they are not important to you. So, I am not going to argue with you at all. The TRANSLATION AND PURPORT that I have just quoted was done by disciples of Srila Prabhupada after his departure. But, it was still done in the last century. Before, internet and before AI. That's why they speak about the great attention recceived by movie stars of the 20th century. Things have changed incredibly since then also. That means the rate of detioration of Kali-yuga has accelerated in the 21st century. I am saying that the sloka under consideration has reached its maturity with respect to time because that is what I feel. However, If you still want, I can delete this discussion also. I am done discussing something nobody understands or appreciates anymore!
  Hari bol

This reply was deleted.