Is marriage important?

Hare Krishna!
Lord Krishna says in The Bhagavad-gita 'Prescribed duties should never be renounced. If one gives up his prescribed duties because of illusion, such renunciation is said to be in the mode of ignorance. Anyone who gives up prescribed duties as troublesome or out of fear of bodily discomfort is said to have renounced in the mode of passion. Such action never leads to the elevation of renunciation.' My doubt is 'is marriage important in todays life where there is a need of a compatible partner who can adjust in all situations? As there are 4 stages in a human life, one of them being "grihasta ashram". It is also one of the prescribed duty of a human being according to the Vedas. So is it compulsary to enter into a married life?

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  • Hare Krishna!
    I totally agree with Rishabhadeva dasa that the decision to get married completely depends on each one's strengths and level of detachment from materialistic pleasures.If one is fully merged in Krishna Consciousness ,happiness and bliss is permanently attained.
    • Hare Krishnha Mahesh Kumar Gandhi prabhu..!!!
      dandavat pranam. all glories to Srila Prabhupad and Gurudev.

      Prabhu, can you please give scriptural evidences for "God punishes the Sanyaasis for not performing this activity of reproducing physical bodies" and for "But marriage is compulsory".

      A women should always live under the protection of their parents until she gets married. Once she gets married she will be put under the protection of her husband. A women is never allowed to live independently. Because, if she lives independently she will be exploited by men and it will give rise to varna shankara (unwanted progeny and also she has to face many other wordly problems). In fact a women can enjoy her freedom only under the protection of her parents or under her husband, that is the real freedom for a women.

      Where as a boy is put into Gurukul under the gudance of a Spiritual master where he learns sastras and understand that the real freedom is going back to Krishna, that is Brahmachari ashram. If a man after being as a brahmachari and after learning all scriptures, if he still wants to go and get married, he will be allowed to get married and enter into grihasta asram. But the meaning of grihasta ashram means not for only using their genitals and procreate childeren. It is for helping each other in their lives and progress in self realization. They are supposed to unite only to produce Krishna consciousness children not for sense gratification.

      On the other hand If the same man understands that his real purpose/freedom of life is to go back to Krishna, he can dedicate his life to his spiritual master in the service of Krishna, even that is also allowed. Infact such man is the most fortunate man. Because he has acheived the war against maya and became sucessful in being celebate and was able to dedicate all his body, senses, mind, intelligence in the service of Krishna. Such a person is also addressed as a liberated soul even though he is still on this material planet. One who has dedicated his life to his Spiritual master, he has to live in the ashram. He is not supposed to live on his own way independently even though he is doing some service to Krishna.
      From then onwards with all his heart and soul he has accepted spiritual master as his father and scriptures as his mother. He will dedicate his life in serving his new father and mother. He will never act with his whimsical thoughts. He always follows his spiritual master's instructions no matter what the situation is and directly goes to sanyasi ashram. In such case he need not pass thru grihasta and vanaprasta ashrams.

      In any ashram it is foremost important to have control over once senses and focus on Krsiha's service and follow once spiritual master's instructions get self realized. He should should not indulge in sense gratification. This is all a bonafide and profound process. It is not our own whimisicall thoughts and speculative conclusions.

      Hare Krishna..!!
      • hare krishna prabhuji
        wow ........what a tremendous answer

        but still i want to ask u one thing that if one devotee married with non devotee and she knew that after marriage,her husband will never allowed her to do worship as like she did before marriage ,,,as you know that before marriage she has to follow her parents instructions and after marriage she has to live her life according to husband........................this is a very common problem in devotees,specially for mataji,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so i am asking this on their behalf.................

        vaishnavs servant
        khushi
        • khushi,
          I do have a name,, i'm not a she... and i did reply to ur post... don't drag my family into
          this when u have no idea how i was raised.... disrespect is a bad thing
        • khushiii, to answer ur reply,,, My marriage tht lasted 25yrs+ was a marriage of convience.
          it's not your bussiness for me to go into full details........ tht's private... one cannot force another into any religion... i was born&raised in the jewish faith... not only tht but my parents(adopted)
          parents; raised me jewish. So it has nothing to do with my parents. With my mother's passing in 1975 when i was 17 yrs old.. my father&i did not hve a good realtionship. again long story.
          The reasons and wherefores aren't important... for me being 52yrs old i'm entitled to do with my life as i please,reguardless if one spouse is non-krishna... i hve followed many paths of spiritual paths over the yrs and all of those times my{ex} was not involved.. The path i choose in mine.
          If i choose the path to krishna so tht's the path. So please don't ditz my parents OK?
          Negitive attitudes is bad karma
        • Since i am a seasoned grihastha devotee,i have seen these predicaments regularly...it strictly depends on the female devotees mentality.She married a demon....such demons generally want to eat meat.Does she mind cooking meat?Is she initiated...? If she is initiated she should approach her guru for personal guidance....If she is not initiated then get initiated first ....then approach your guru for guidance,if she is not able to go to temple ,seek shelter from her parents and brothers...if she has some!Either way it is always very messy and complicated.....she has to be very sincere....be willing to risk everything to please krishna and guru!
        • Hare Krishna,

          I have a very little idea of these things, so I think it should be better to consult with some Grhasta counselors, but as far as I'm concerned, if at all I'm in that situation (which is not possible in this life) I would not enter a place knowing that it is hell; unless I have some hope that the partner can understand his spouse and accept changes in his life. Of course, we also can't generalize things as "everyone is an individual" and that the answer would have to suit the specific situation involved. Thus, it requires some more details to be investigated further (regarding, parents, how he was brought up, his nature etc. etc.). But, please mind that these issues are generally sensitive and have to be dealt with very carefully.

          And for the point you mentioned that a wife should follow the order of a husband, I believe that this should be done only when the husband is under the guidance of a bonafide spiritual master. A simple example would illustrate this: A son is supposed to be following his father's instruction, but if the father is drunk and asks his son to bring a stick and beat his mother, what should the son do?? Does he follow the instruction of father and beat his own mother or should be do something to bring his father back to his senses. The shastra tells that the latter thing has to be done and I too would do the same (even one could make out by common logic). Please contemplate.

          Please clarify whatever I have said with some senior devotee.

          Your servant,
          Chaitanya.
          • hare krishna prabhuji

            thank u so much for reply ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
            u have cleared my some other doubt but still i need some more guidance regarding this issue as prabhupada ji said that the devotees should always be satisfied with three things, namely----food,circumstances and spouse.............so there's a lot of confusion ........

            dandvat pranam

            servant of all devotees
            khushi
      • Jai Swaroop pr, It seems that all of your points are perfect.

        The goal of life is to serve the spiritual master in relation to Krishna in this life and eternally and depending upon ones mentality, he may enter into different ashrams.

        If one realizes about truth just by hearing and serving, then he need not take to Grhasta ashrama, whereas one after hearing, wants to experience and then gets realization, it may be necessary for him to get married.

        I also heard that it is almost compulsory for matajis to get married, for the same reasons you have mentioned earlier but there were Brahmacharini ashrams for the sake of preaching and it was according to time, place and circumstances only for very exalted souls and not for the imitation of common people.

        These points are taken from bonafide lectures of ISKCON........reg. choosing ashrams.

        I heard that it would be better that I quote the references, then there would be no problem at all as things are not from my impure mind/intelligence.

        Thank you very much for the answers. Please forgive any offences I had committed.
        Hari hari

        Your servant,
        Chaitanya
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