Hare krishna to all devotees!
Nowadays there's a famous boyfriend girlfriend trend, especially in teenagers... I am also a 15 year old teenager so is it bad if I too make a girlfriend?
Here's a hypothetical situation:- Suppose a girl proposes me to date and be my boyfriend so, being a devoted of god, should I enter into a relationship and be her boyfriend or simply say no??? I mean practically should teenagers enter relationship and make boyfriends and girlfriends.?
Replies
Hare Krishna,
You are only 15 yr even my son is 14yrs old now, there is no bf gf at this age. I don't think so. Are you in India or USA? I am located in USA and ya here the culture is like this. But has India gone into such advanced stage now. Because It is shocking for me to know this. OMG. How children of 14-15 yr old .. do they need girl friend's at this age?
I am sure at this age children are focussed on studies and more thinking about which path to chose. ( Engineering or Medical, MBA) what are entrance exams to be taken. Which college is better to opt. Which tution to attend. I am not so sure about what is going on in the heads of a teenage boy or girl.
Ya, I heard in USA , it is common to have a girl friend or boy friend at this age itself. Otherwise people think he or she is nerd or book worm.., it becomes a status symbol in the college or school to show off that he or she has a Girl/ Boy friend. I have come across an american non-devotee couple who were worried that their son was not normal compared to other kids of his age. When inquired futher, they said he is always focussed on studies and studious and not having a social life like normal kids of his age. I was like OMG what is this culture. Indian families they think it is so nice to see a 15 yr old who is so focussed on studies .. parents feel proud to tell to others that their son is well behaved and studious.
I am wondering is this becoming a trend in India also?
Look at this new generation what is going on with them. In earlier days.., a girl or boy didnt have this much freedom. Atleast until the age of 25 plus in India. Until they Graduated, atleast this girl friend /boy friend was not coming to their heads also. Maybe they had internally in their minds lusty thoughts when they see the opposite sex atleast they maintained some distance with the opposite sex till certain age. When they got into Engineering or Medical or some proffesional courses, the parents also gave some freedom to chose at the point of life..
At such a young age what for you need a gf.?
It was predicted already this Kaliyuga, Buddhi ( intellect) of individuals is going to be low and diminised to such an extent that the be body is given prime importance.
SB 12.2.3: Men and women will live together merely because of superficial attraction, and success in business will depend on deceit. Womanliness and manliness will be judged according to one's expertise in sex, and a man will be known as a brāhmaṇa just by his wearing a thread.
In kalagyanam Brahamam garu ( a great saint down south India) he predicted that in Kaliyug woman who are only 15 or even 10 or 9 yrs old will start bearing child in Ghor Kaliyuga days.
I am seeing this trend now starting. Behold !!! we are entering ghor Kaliyuga slowly. First 10,000 yrs after the dissappearance of Lord Sri Krishna are considered to be the golden age where people still are remembering Sri Krishna, Sri Rama ... Atleast don't spoil that statement!!!
It is not a sin to have a friend who is girl or a boy but don't enter into physcial relationship so soon. It is not worth it.
Moreover... kids of this age have no real judgement capacity they think they know whole world now. It is all because of raging hormones. They think they can do anything but it is going to be big blunder. You should first atleast get hold on to yourself, Stand on you feet properly, able to earn something.. then think about entering relationships. Just because your hormones are playing don't jump like a monkey and do acts like animals. Don't become animals. Become humans first.
Body needs can be sidelined WHEN YOU HAVE SOME HIGHER GOALS IN LIFE. Atleast take advice of parents or elders and study well, do some bhakti train you mind.
A Tree is very difficult to be flexed or bent. But a young plant can easily be bent and is flexible. So are you. You are so young boy. Your mind is fresh. you just need to train it properly under guidance of seniors or go to ISKCON centers to get good values and teachings. Be in good company change your mindset. Make some goals in life. ( either in studies or in bhakti).
Chanting Mahamantra is best. remembering Krishna at all times is best to flex and change you mind instantly when bad thoughts are coming.
I am sorry to know this trend .. In USA , I can understand it is their culture. But India? Pls. don't spoil our country's great values. Our country is known for great morals and values and committed relationships.
these wrong decisions which you are going to take now will spoil future generations without you knowledge itself.
It is normal for you age to get attracted to a beautiful girl. you feel flowery feelings, right not a bad thing, after all. We all are by-product of sex and lust. But the thing is it must be regulated. If you dont regulate it if you are not able to regulate and behave like animals then you are a beast that all no good then an animal.
Wait for a good life partner, wait for a right time in life where you have your earnings, savings and ready to take up responsibilities. It is not entirely bad to feel attracted to a beautiful thing. If there is beautiful flower. you like to admire it. You can use that flower to decorate Lord. It gives pleasure to your eyes. But you don't try to become pocesssive of it and keep it with you and press it in a book and spoil the beauty of the flower.
A flower and its beauty is only short lived. Same goes with this human body too. Just see enjoy. admire.. make friends but keep relationship clean. Ya, I can understand if you wont accept her you might lose her to someone else. This is constanly worrying guys. This is lust pocessiveness. You want it for yourself. right?
If the girl is only proposing you and asking you to be his boy friend that means she really interested in you. So, what you can do is become a mature person and tell her about the consequeneces., and ask her if she is ready to wait until you are settled in life. Discuss with her higher purpose of life like KC things and tell her like a mature person that pls. wait until we both has some career and then we can ask our parents to make required arrangements. Until then love is there and commitment to one person thru out the life is tough decision if you and she are really find it to continue for the rest of you life then only it is worth it to wait. But you see many of these relationships end in faliures. While you take time settling her parents might look for marriage there will be a great turmoil at that time a big complication, sadness, disaapointment... I have seen cases which ended in attempting suicide also in love faliure as parents of the girl didn't allow for marriage after waiting for such long time. Whole life of the guy is totally damaged. Because of emotional turmoil. WHY TO TAKE SUCH A RISK FOR SIMPLE body sake right. You can post pone things or keep it to HI hello bye .. Don't get physcial or don't get emotionally attached. Just give time.
Don't get influenced by bad company. Pls. be in right company with devotees or directly go and meet one to one with some Iskcon personal mentor to guide you properly.
You can have friend as girl and boy but not physcial intimacy at this age. Very young to decide on this so fast. Right now focus on your studies and career.
Hare Krishna.
Ok mata g I will not indulge in such matters, thanku
Hare Krishna Paarth Prabhu,
Check this video by HG Amog Lila Prabhu [link]. Do follow him on Youtube as he posts some great content on these subject matters. His YouTube channel [link].
Your Servant,
Ok thankyou prabhu g