I am here to ashamedly pronounce that I am under the influence of Cannabis and participate in my spiritual education into Krsna Consciousness from my home and by the literature of Sri Prabhupada's books, chanting and online literature.
Sometimes it seem's that smoking pot induces my creative energy for Krsna, but I'm afraid of chanting the mantra in the mannor that it can be like sipping poison as construed in one of Swami Praphupada's videos contexts; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypjl8jK9HHc&index=4&list=FLQJjqOw2Z0zTR3yQGIOCx7A
3:09
I do bhakti creative works when im intoxicated that draw me deep into the philosophy and text, my mind is usually to weak to chant, but I can't seemingly conquer my urge to intoxicate, although I do make spiritual progress into going for longer without giving in. Maybe its not spiritual progress but a mockery - Im afraid and trying to become pure in my actions.
I just wanted to say this and wonder if anyone has any advice for me. I'm trying to become liberated but it's taking more time. The first Hare Krishna Ive ever met described some as being incurable and sometimes i feel like that. The deeper I study the more love and control I have, but I think maybe it is kind of poisonous if I don't do it with clear headedness...
Please someone help me and let me know your struggle.
Hare Krsna
edit: i would like to add I just flushed all my weed down the toilet - progress
Replies
Thank you Prabhu for this. The truth is the remedy for the condition. Hare Krishna
you can always message me whenever you like. I know your issue well, very well.
Hare Krsna.
Good on you for trying.
I found that the thing that helped me the most in organically giving things up was association with devotees.
the community has high standards and if you get amongst that community you will naturally want to follow those standards.
Hare Krishna,
Even after having pot you have been blessed to take an effort to understand Krishna. Have faith. Associate with devotees and I m sure you will over come even the intoxicant problem. It takes time. But you surely will over come this.
In terms of taste, KC is the ultimate, so when you slowly progress towrds experiencing that higher taste all the non sense tastes fade away.
Hari Bola.
YS
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
I think the problem is that you are practicing from home and alone. It would help if you could associate with devotees. If you could associate with devotees and chant in their midst, it will make your chanting stronger and reduce the urge to take drugs. I think you should ensure that you do not have any stock of the drug with you, so that next time you have the urge, it will take time to go and buy. In the meantime, you can work on getting over/ controlling the urge.
You should be constantly in association and constantly engaged in devotional service. Ideally, speak to your local ISKCON temple president and go and stay in the temple for a couple of months - specifically eating only temple prasadam, attending mangala arati, darshan arati, lecture. If you are working outside, carry only that much money that will allow you to commute, do not keep any extra money so taht you dont end up buying drugs.
Try this and see - maybe it will help.
One thing that will certainly help is to ask for help from Krsna, nothing happens without His mercy prabhuji.
Best of luck,
Your servant,
Rashmi