Hare Krishna Dear Devotees. All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I have been Krishna conscious for over 20 years now, and I cannot imagine my life without Krishna. A year ago, I met a Muslim woman and we started a relationship. Shortly after we met, I told her that I would not convert to Islam as I could never leave Krishna Consciousness. She was a bit resistant, but she accepted it. However, her family members are now putting pressure on her to make me convert to Islam. She recently asked me if I would convert because she's worried that she won't go to heaven if she marries a non-Muslim person. I told her that I could not leave Krishna Consciousness as my heart belongs to Krishna, and even though I respect her faith, I cannot convert. I had always hoped that, after marriage, she and I could live in an interfaith household, where we could practice each others' religions and bring our children up to respect all religions, as Srila Prabhupada had taught. I have always treated her with the utmost repspect and have made many sacrifices for her, so that she could be comfortable in the relationship. And she has also shown me much love and support over the past year. However, I can now see that she is asking more from me than is reasonable. She even says that if we get married, she wouldn't want me to chant Hare Krishna in my own home, or even go to the temple, for fear of the children asking about Krishna Consciousness, as she wants the children to be brought up as Muslims.
In my heart, I know that this relationship will damage my sadhana, and I know that I need to end it, but it's difficult as we both have feelings for each other. Any advice from the devotees of Krishna would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Hare Krishna.
Replies
Pamho Prabhuji
What happened to her? Did you marry her Prabhuji? I will eagerly look forward for your response
With respect to this women it sounds like she is being rather unreasonable and not respecting your faith and devotion as you have hers. I think interfaith relationships as you have described can be beautiful and very beneficial to children but only if both parents are willing to compromise. Someone telling you that you cannot worship Krsna in any way, shape, or form and that you cannot raise your children to be Krsna conscious seems like a definite flag. As hard as it is I think you already know the best course of action. Successful relationships are based on love and acceptance not ultimatums. This is one reason we love Krsna so much because He loves us unconditionally even in our lowly conditioned state. It would be a shame to trade that love in for something material.
Hare Krishna Prabhu,
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada. Please accept my humble obeisances.
Thank you very much for the reply. I have told my friend that she must respect my right to practice Krishna Consciousness or we cannot continue the relationship. She said she needs time to think about it, so I am just giving her time to decide.
Your reply was very encouraging; thank you for the help. I think this is a test from Krishna, to see how strong my faith in Him is. The Lord is so merciful to give shelter to those who need it.
Hare Krishna,
Roland.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
You already know the answer prabhuji. An interfaith relationship will work when both are open minded and respectful of each other's faith. One person cannot practise this alone.
Its a difficult choice prabhuji, but right now you will be choosing between Krsna and this girl.
I know it will hurt should you choose to leave her and move on, at that time, pls bow your head and tell Krsna, if this is Your will, I accept. If in difficult times, we remember and trust Krsna, that is the true test of our faith. It will make you grow closer to Krsna by leaps and bounds.
If you choose to marry this girl - my judgement is - more compromises will come your way in the form of conditions before the marraige. If you still go ahead, you can forget about KC, she wont even let you chant in your own house. If you protest or do not adhere to her wishes, it will result in friction and gradually bitterness will set in. Then you may decide to end the relationship - by that time, you will have lost many many chances to grow in KC.
I am sorry I am painting a grim picture, this is what I see.
The choice is yours prabhu, its your life after all.
Best of luck.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare Krishna Mataji,
All Glories to Srila Prabhupada. Please accept my humble obeisances.
Thank you very much for the reply. You are right, I have to consider Krishna first and I need to be with someone that will be supportive of my faith. I have told my friend that she must respect my right to practice Krishna Consciousness or we cannot continue the relationship. She said she needs time to think about it, so that's where we are at right now.
Thank you again for your support and your encouragement; it has helped a lot.
Roland.