hare Krishna.
I rewrite this in the question & answer section.
Look forward to get some better responses from devotees.
Could anyone share their experiences in Interfaith marriages and its challenges?
If a Krishna devotee accepts a partner who is devout christian (baptised) what could be the challenges in these marriages?
If both like each other as a person but conservative to their religion and respectful to opposite's faith does that create any issue in practising krishna consciousness?
Is not equally important to accept a partner who has good human nature rather only seeing the religion equality?
Your replies highly appreciated.
Hare Krishna
Replies
Hare Krishna:
I am in an interfaith marriage with my wife. My path to/in Krishna Consciousness solidified 5 years ago. My wife attended temple, festivals, chanted for a while but I noticed she wasn't "into it". I made a mistake and we argued for a day. I was chanting my rounds the next morning when Krishna reminded me that my wife is a baptized Mormon. A few hours later the Mormon missionaries knocked on our door and I set up an appointment to meet us (meaning my wife) that coming Saturday. We met and she started faithfully attending Mormon church again after decades of being away. She is very happy and content now and enthusiastically reads her Bible, books, memorizes scripture, etc.
The issues that our differences of faith presents are that she cannot fulfill her position in the celestial kingdom of God, as defined by Joseph Smith. I am not able to 100% with my free time preach Krishna Consciousness. I am married so to live in peace I have to keep my wife's needs satisfied also so that I can peacefully practice Krishna Consciousness as much and as far as I am able to.
The answer to your question is simply this: It is easier to be married if both partners follow the same faith. In my case, the paths developed AFTER we got married. We do love each other and enjoy each others company. We do talk about spiritual things. The differences are there. There are some similarities. We both want to keep our vows and words to each other and to God/Krishna. So I practice tolerance (Siksastakam 3). Our marriage is a less than perfect situation. It is a good situation, just NOT perfect.
I would suggest finding someone of the same faith rather than working through a lot of issues that you should not have to deal with. My path changed 5 years ago, her path was started before we knew each other and was never told to me before we got married. I do not think I would have married her if I knew of her Mormon beliefs in all honesty. However, we ARE married. I want to keep my vows, to God/Krishna, Guru and wife.
I hope this confusing pile of words makes some since and helps a little bit.
From experience, do not marry another person with a different faith than yours. Marriage is hard enough! Don't make it any harder than it already is! If you are open to becoming a Christian than that is ok too. But do it for the right reason, not because you want to marry a Christian but because that faith speaks something to you that you aren't finding in Krishna Consciousness.
Hare krsna,
Love is not merely looking at each other n getting married; its all about looking in the same direction also..Krsna should be at the center no matter what you do. Keep krsna at the center
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
Sorry I saw your post just now. I will reply to my capacity.
In inter faith marraige, it is a challenge if both are conservative about their own faith and want to diligent in following. There are a lot of people who dont pray everyday or are not so concerned about matters related to God - for them inter faith marriage is ok. But if say your partner is a devout christian and you are an ISKCON devotee, there are bound to be issues. I am not saying at all that these are insurmountable - all I am saying is that it requires a lot of maturity, openness and patience to get over issues.
For eg - its always easier if one family follows one faith - then the outings are together, the prayers are together, the social and religious circle is same and so on and so forth.
Now if you both have children tomorrow, will both of you not be in a hurry to explain your particular faith to the child and get the child onto "your" path. Isnt that a clash and confusing for the child as well?
If your partner is christian, she will definitely cook and eat non-veg, and you are supposed to eat food cooked by a devotee, that too in a kitchen in whihc even onion and garlic do not enter, the utensils are untouched by prohibited food. How will you manage?
The festivals will be separate - so on janmastami, you will be super busy and your spouse will be on work and vice versa on Christmas or good friday.
Think about it prabhuji - waht is more important - your path towards spirituality or your attraction for this one person of another faith - whihc will give you more long term results.
I am not at all belittling christianity or any other faith - I am simply saying that if the partners have different faiths, the reasons to clash are a lot more.
Haribol,
YOur servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Thank you for your reply mataji.
hare Krishna.
Yes she is very religious christian, but she is vegetarian and she went to temple and also sometimes chant hare krishna. She is tolerant/open to other religions.
The reasons for clashes as you mentioned are true especially when will have disagreement over religions / rituals and differences.
But if we see in today's Indian families - there are devotees whose wife/parents are not krishna conscious.
is nt the same?
Is it an offence if a devotee go to church / participate in christian festivals but inside he still follows his loyality to krishna and worship him as his Almighty God?
I know ideally its always good to have your partner in the same faith but sometimes we just cant find everything perfect in 1 person.
Should we also not see a person's character,chastity and heart or should we only see the religious equality??
Look forward to your comments.
hare krishna :)
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
Your heart is clearly set on her - so be it.
She is showing openness by going to temple with you, you must reciprocate by going to Church with her. YOu must know who is Jesus Christ - he is the son of God, he is a pure devotee who came to the world to give the message of God, he got his teachings from India, some reports say Jagannath temple in Puri, therefore there is no conflict between his teachings and our philosophy. You can see a youtube video - I will suggest you show here also - search on Tamal Krishna Goswami - there are 2 lectures actually - one is in Fiji Islands - Who is God? and the other is also in FIji, its an auditorium setting, its got 5 star rating, its in Q & A format. It clearly talks about Jesus Christ and explains a lot of things.
Regarding devotees whose partner/ parents are not Krsna Conscious - the situation is like this - in case of parents, devotees try to convince parents, but if they dont come around, its more of peaceful coexistance, where one party does not trespass on the other's space. If there is any other child of the parent, they normally stay with taht child, though there is no bar on staying with devotee child also. In case of parents, the devotee is already indebted to the parents for various things like giving birth to him, bringing him up, some how or other bringing him to devotion and so on, therefore there is somewhere a thought in the mind of the devotee to be submissive to parents and tolerate even if something is happening whihc is not as per our standards. Normally, men will tolerate their parents, not their partners, right?
Regarding non devotee partner, if its a wife who is a non devotee, normally men try to muscle their wives into submission and following their path by force (not advisable, but i am aware taht this happens). If she is still unrelenting, they normally go their individual ways - stay together, but there is a lot of unrest on this topic. I know of men who preach when their wife is out of town, who hide from their wife and go to preach. Since you are not yet married and you are aware of the difference in faiths, I was trying to avoid a similar situation.
YOur heart is set on her and I can see so is hers. So as long as both of you are determined to make it work, Krsna will surely help you.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
You cant love lord Krishna and not Jesus Christ, for true vaishnava thats not possible.
Pure devotee and Lord are inseparable.