PAMHO,
Shrila Prabhupaad ki Jai
One of my friend is devotee of krishna, he chant, and perform very well in kirtan. But always engaged with different girls. When one got married he find new one, and he called it love. And he can't live without girls. He know this is bad, but he cant stop himself. He think one day he got his life partner as a devotee. He want his partner as a devotee who help him spiritual activities.
I want to help him, how please suggest.
Replies
Dont worry about helping him. Help yourself first.
Here is advice of Lord Rsabhadeva, results of associating with Sadhus and results of associating with those that are fond of women and sex. (He is not saying, what happens if YOU are fond of women and sex. Its about "associating with others" who are fond of women and sex)
Lord Ṛṣabhadeva told His sons:
SB 5.5.2
tamo-dvāraṁ yoṣitāṁ saṅgi-saṅgam
- please refer person as sadhaka or practitioner instead of devotee
- some people are born with passion to eat more food similarly some are born to enjoy love\richness\fame etc.
- it is common behaviour at least he is sharing his problem with you .... and Lust doesn't go so easily
- you and we don't know his past .... so we should not blaspheme person
- it is mostly because of past karma and he will come out of it after certain time
- earlier men was to get marry early by 15 but now days it is impossible and so many things can be possible
- we can only pray for him and be with him....pray he should get wife (or may be two wives) who can keep him happy
- bhakti is gradual process don't expect everyone to live up to standards
He sounds like a wild and liberated tantic yogi. Have him read Sexual Secrets, The Alchemy of Ecstacy by Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger........you can find a a free online PDF version if you search on google for it.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
YOu shoudl involve a senior, whom your friend trusts the most and has the most respect for. That senior will have to monitor his habits and get him out of it with personal care and admonishment. Even if he marries a devotee girl, which girl will stay with him and put up with his habits. This will not change with marriage, this is a habit which he has formed by now.
One very effective way is attentive chanting and the desire to kick the lust within the heart. Its an addiction and unless one wants to be de addicted, one cannot.
Tell him to study the pastimes of rasa lila by Radha Krsna. That is an effective way to kill the lust within the heart. He should engage himself in devotional service more and more such that he is completely exhausted and hits the bed and falls asleep. No time to think. And the devotional service should not be only kirtan, because it can attract young (and mostly inexperienced) girls. It should be something like cleaning the kitchen or deity rooms which does not involve dealing with matajis at all.
I cannot think of anything else prabhu.
Maybe someone else can help better.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Rashmi
Hare Krishna Mataji
PAMHO
Thank for suggestions.
Hari bol