i have become a demon instead of a devotee

hare krishna i need help i commited vaishnava apradha against my pujya guru dev he forgived me but i did sadhu ninda against a saint but i had already fallen till then. my bhakti tree was clouded with illlusion now i am contionously commiting mental apradhas against devotees like i cannot stop those apradhas my mind is not mine my hearrt converts intrusive thoushgts into apradh by mixing feelings with i am commiting offences now without intention which is not stoping.i will ask forigviness from the saint i commited apradh against how to stop this inintentional apradhas which are modification of intrusive thoughts in mental aporadhas please help. 

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                • thank you prabhu 

              • Hare Krishna Prabhuji,

                Who ever took to chanting 16 rounds and following 4 regulative principles are devotees.

                In this kaliyuga,chanting & following 4 regulative principles itself is a greatest quality one can have.Even though he may be having other bad qualities that will be removed very soon.Because the chanting will cure his disease.

                We commit offense because we find fault with others,thinking we are the only pure souls.That is our conditioned state.But,the remedy for this disease is to glorify the qualities of devotees.If someone chanting 16 rounds he must be glorified,he may be having any other bad qualities but just because he is chanting he must be considered saintly.

                Chapter 9: The Most Confidential Knowledge

                TEXT 30
                api cet su-duracaro
                bhajate mam ananya-bhak
                sadhur eva sa mantavyah
                samyag vyavasito hi sah
                api—in spite of; cet—although; sudurācāraḥ—one committing the most abominable actions; bhajate—engaged in devotional service; mām—unto Me; ananya-bhāk—without deviation; sādhuḥ—saint; eva—certainly; saḥ—he; mantavyaḥ—to be considered; samyak—completely; vyavasitaḥ—situated; hi—certainly; saḥ—he.
                Even if one commits the most abominable actions, if he is engaged in devotional service, he is to be considered saintly because he is properly situated.
                The word sudurācāro used in this verse is very significant, and we should understand it properly. When a living entity is conditioned, he has two kinds of activities: one is conditional, and the other is constitutional. As for protecting the body or abiding by the rules of society and state, certainly there are different activities, even for the devotees, in connection with the conditional life, and such activities are called conditional. Besides these, the living entity who is fully conscious of his spiritual nature and is engaged in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, or the devotional service of the Lord, has activities which are called transcendental. Such activities are performed in his constitutional position, and they are technically called devotional service. Now, in the conditioned state, sometimes devotional service and the conditional service in relation to the body will parallel one another. But then again, sometimes these activities become opposed to one another. As far as possible, a devotee is very cautious so that he does not do anything that could disrupt his wholesome condition. He knows that perfection in his activities depends on his progressive realization of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Sometimes, however, it may be seen that a person in Kṛṣṇa consciousness commits some act which may be taken as most abominable socially or politically. But such a temporary falldown does not disqualify him. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam it is stated that if a person falls down, but is wholeheartedly engaged in the transcendental service of the Supreme Lord, the Lord, being situated within his heart, beautifies him and excuses him from that abomination. The material contamination is so strong that even a yogī fully engaged in the service of the Lord sometimes becomes ensnared; but Kṛṣṇa consciousness is so strong that such an occasional falldown is at once rectified. Therefore the process of devotional service is always a success. No one should deride a devotee for some accidental falldown from the ideal path, for, as is explained in the next verse, such occasional falldowns will be stopped in due course, as soon as a devotee is completely situated in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
                Therefore a person who is situated in Kṛṣṇa consciousness and is engaged with determination in the process of chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare should be considered to be in the transcendental position, even if by chance or accident he is found to have fallen. The words sādhur eva, "he is saintly," are very emphatic. They are a warning to the nondevotees that because of an accidental falldown a devotee should not be derided; he should still be considered saintly even if he has fallen down accidentally. And the word mantavyaḥ is still more emphatic. If one does not follow this rule, and derides a devotee for his accidental falldown, then he is disobeying the order of the Supreme Lord. The only qualification of a devotee is to be unflinchingly and exclusively engaged in devotional service.
                The mark of a spot which may be seen on the moon does not become an impediment to the moonlight. Similarly, the accidental falldown of a devotee from the path of a saintly character does not make him abominable. On the other hand, one should not misunderstand that a devotee in transcendental devotional service can act in all kinds of abominable ways; this verse only refers to an accident due to the strong power of material connections. Devotional service is more or less a declaration of war against the illusory energy. As long as one is not strong enough to fight the illusory energy, there may be accidental falldowns. But when one is strong enough, he is no longer subjected to such falldowns, as previously explained. No one should take advantage of this verse and commit nonsense and think that he is still a devotee. If he does not improve in his character by devotional service, then it is to be understood that he is not a high devotee.

                So,Please increase your chanting and speak only about krishna nothing else.

                Hare Krishna.

                • dhanyawad prabhu dandwat 

  • "i will ask forigviness", when? dont delay it, ask now, once he forgives, everything will gradually settle down

    • pradip panit prabhu dandawat

  • Hare Krishna Abhay prabhu,

    The fact that you have realized this and are repenting for your action suggests your future days are very bright. Most of the people are so blind in their conditioning that they justify vaishnava aparadha as not aparadha or in other words they don't see it as aparadha.

    Years ago I asked this question to HH Bhakti Charu swami and he replied "it is humility which needs to be developed but one should not just act humble in front and act offensive inwards. It will be developed gradually with practice"

    later I came across two wonderful books which should be read by everyone if one wants to progress.

    1. Trinad Api sunichena by HH Gour Govinda Swami.(I could not find online so purchased)

    2. Obstacles in Bhakti by Sri Vinod Bihari Das Babaji Maharaj.Online at :   http://kunjeshwari.com/sweettexts/English/obstacles.pdf

    One must read these two books if one wishes to avoid any kind of aparadha and progress in bhakti. I gurantee you will get all help from these two books. Please do read these two books.

    • dhanyawad prabhu dandwat prabhu

  • please help good people

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