i have become a demon instead of a devotee(repost)

i need help from people on this community as i have committed many vaishnava apradhas against many devotees my heart is tottaly filled with ignorance and i need your help to make it pure i chantt more than 10 rounds of nityananada naam daily. read chaitanya bhagwat daily. my problem is really serious  i need help people i need help i think i am probably under demonic possesion i need help from you prabhu jis . i have nearly all symptoms of demonic possesion and their is more than one demon that has possessed me the symptoms that i witness are 1- convulsions while on remembering lord nityananda 2- unlimited strength 3- possession 4- suicidal thoughts the demon makes me to commit vaishnava apradha what should i do i fear i am going to end my life. as my heart is filled with apradhas i cannot recieve love for god should i go to a saint and ask for love of god?

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  • Abhay prabhu,

    Many Vaishnavas are now praying for your well-being.

    While you are sad now, Lord Krishna is seeing your sorrow, and hearing the prayers and concerns from your friends here on IDT.  Please meditate on the Love that we are sending you via Sri Krsna Himself.

    Your aparadh is forgiven.  Please wake in the morning with a renewed passion for your devotional life.

    You are part and parcel of the Lord,.. never to be lost.  Already you are on the Path to the best Eternity!

    You are Loved, by Krishna, and us.  

    As for the thoughts of your heart... This is Kali-yuga.  Most all of us have had to face our personal shortcomings.

    Do not dwell on the darkness. (I have personal experience in this!)  Rather, if you are sad in the mornings, then take a deep breath and remember that you are worth a million million diamonds!

    Save yourself for the service of the Lord, and you will soon be qualified to save others by your example.

    Please use this One Human Life, that you are living now, to grow and move beyond this slight stumbling which you now experience.  Life will get better.  Any plans to end this Human Life only sets you up to face the same thing in the next birth.

    Krishna will never let us faint away. The pressures of life change as we experience passing time.

    We are here for you.  There is no "unsolvable" situation in Krishna Consciousness.

    Be well, and "Always remember Krishna, and never forget Krishna"

    Your servant and friend, Bhakta Rankin.

    • thannk you very much sir for your positive words heartly thank you

  • Hare Krishna

    Dear Prabu

    I can identify with what u are going through, having experienced similar thoughts of guilt and being unable to feel love for Krishna. U are not possessed but probably going through a bout of depression/anxiety.
    Please consult a mental health professional immediately!
    All the best. U will get well. This is only temporary.
  • Hare Krishna one thing more please consult a doctor because having thoughts of suicide is v serious issue plzz don't take it lightly .....doctors give antidepressants and then you will be more comfortable in doing your sadhna......Hare Krishna Mahamantra always plus to kill demons Durga saptashati patha and Hanuman ji sadhna......Hari Bol.
    • thank you mata ji

  • SB 6.13.8-9 — One who has killed a brāhmaṇa, one who has killed a cow or one who has killed his father, mother or spiritual master can be immediately freed from all sinful reactions simply by praising the holy name of Lord Nārāyaṇa. Other sinful persons, such as dog-eaters and caṇḍālas, who are less than śūdras, can also be freed in this way. But you are a devotee, and we shall help you by performing the great horse sacrifice. If you please Lord Nārāyaṇa in that way, why should you be afraid? You will be freed even if you kill the entire universe, including the brāhmaṇas, not to speak of killing a disturbing demon like Vṛtrāsura.





    • thank  you prabhu

  • Hare Krishna Prabhuji.......please read Bajrang Baba and Hanuman Chalisa plus Saptashati for seven days without gap .......Demons will fly .
  • Hare Krishna Prabhu ,

    So Sorry to Hear about Your Situation , I ll Pray to Krishna to Help you ,Always Remember a Devotee of krishna is never Lost, Krishna might sometimes test us well come out of it Stronger, Play Narasimha Pranama in your house 

    this is the You tube Link


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