Hare krishna all,
PAMHO,
All glories to srila pabhupada!
My spiritual master has good impression of me as good devotee, But as I said in my earlier discussions I am very fallen... I cannot control my desires.... One day I was watching movie which have many things that are not acceptable in KC and my spiritual master entered suddenly into the room seeing him I couldnt even turn off the movie..... I was shocked and felt very ashamed about myself doing nonsense hiding from my spiritual master...........But he asked me weather I was disturbed by his sudden entry and when leaving after his work done he was same as he used to be, that made me feel really bad, I love my spiritual master very much he is like my big brother and I lost my image , I couldnt sleep that night, my material desires made me feel ashamed in front of my spiritual master, he had lot of trust on me and I behaved like a dog.......Please pray for me ...He still love me but dont think He will have the same affection that he used to have towards me, I am very depressed and thinking of how I will face him again.......What can I do to become dear to my spiritual master and krishna again, Now iam not feeling like chanting also........please help me....
Hari bol
Replies
Jai Shri Krishna..
You are feeling like this is a realization on your part that you know right from wrong. If you are aware that what you are doing is offensive and you do not feel good in the company of saintly people then you also know that you have to consciously put a stop to all the bad things. Doing bad deeds are like bad habits, the only way to stop them is by telling yourself that you want nothing to do with bad things anymore and sticking to your choice.
If you want to live a saintly life, people will automatically come to know that you are genuine.. Your spiritual master knows that you are struggling and he prays for your deliverance. You have ultimately to do your part and kick the habit. Maya is strong but everybody is capable of becoming victorious of maya.
HariBol!
Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
I feel Iam lost............
when we really feel that we are lost, then only we will start practice KC seriously.
If Krishna sees that our wealth disturbing us, He will take everything away and then only we wake up and understand the importance of Krishna Consciousness, importance of rules and regulations...
Krishna and His Devotees do not force us to do that or this. we have free will. They say once, twice then the person should decide himself what to choose:
1. To enjoy fully material senses, living as we want, as we desire. Then at the end die, take birth in hell, suffer, come to earth, live as a child of some bugs, then insects, then fish, then bird, then big, then ....
2. to control senses at least following 4 regulative principles, chant minimum 16 rounds, eat Prasadam and go back to Spiritual World and enjoy eternal life serving and being with Krishna - All Attractive One.
some of us lived almost more than 25 years, left only around 30 more (if at least that) those 30 also will pass in the speed of eye blinking. and FINISHED!