I am in deep agony for insulting Mother Yashoda and Krsna

Hare Krsna all dear devotees,

Please accept my Humble Obeisances and forgive me for any and all vaishnava aparadhas.

My name is Madhav Khanna and I am a 17yo student in Canada.

Before trying to walk the path of Bhakti, I was engaged in all sorts of terrible activities. Since then (nearly 2.5 years), I have stopped and keep on gradually improving.

However, I am not able to get rid of my laziness, which affects my ability to study and makes me irritated as I think that seva to ThakurJi is taking up all time, but in reality itsmy own tendencies.

So yesterday, my parents called me to spend some time with them and I was frustrated with myself and wanted to take it out on Krsna.

Due to past tendencies (sanskaras), I was about to say a very very very bad curse word that was meant at both Mother Yashoda and Krsna.

However, as soon as I said the first letter, I immediately stopped, and while going to put Thakur Ji to sleep that night, I felt extreme regret and fear.

But I am really torn. If I was about to say a bad word to Sri Krsna and Srimati Yashoda Maiya, but stopped as soon as I began without completing the formulation of the word,will it still count as a Vaishnav Aparadh?

If so, how do I get rid of this? As I feel that I have insulted every single woman who worships Sri Krishna as her son, and I feel I have direcly offended Sri Krsna as well.

I am very mentally torn. I do not usually say or do these kinds of offenses, but I don't know what overcame me yesterday.

But the thing is even when I look at Thakur Ji today, for some reason He doesn't appear angry or off at me because I know we can sense that sometimes. Iam very confused regarding my situation. Pls help me.

Please help protect this fallen soul's Bhakti, in whatever amount I might have accumulated.

Your fallen servant, Madhav Khanna.

Hare Krsna prabhu. The fact that you stopped immediately, felt regret, and are sincerely worried about offending Sri Krsna and Mother Yashoda already shows that your heart is moving toward bhakti, not away from it. A person who is truly offensive usually feels no remorse at all.

We all carry old habits and reactions from past conditioning, especially when frustrated with ourselves. The important thing is that you caught yourself before completing it and your conscience immediately awakened. That is actually a sign of spiritual progress and sincerity.

Rather than drowning in guilt, take this moment as a lesson in humility and dependence on Krsna. Offer a sincere prayer to Thakur Ji and Yashoda Maiya, chant attentively, and continue your seva with honesty. Bhakti is not destroyed by one disturbing thought or an unfinished impulse — it is protected by sincerity, repentance, and continued devotion.

Also, please don’t blame seva for your stress. As you already realized, the real struggle is with the mind and laziness, something almost every practitioner battles with at some stage free top games. Try creating a balanced routine for study, rest, chanting, and family time so frustration doesn’t build internally.

Krsna is known as Bhava-grahi - He sees the intention and sincerity of the heart. Your fear of losing bhakti itself shows how much you value it. Keep going steadily, stay humble, and don’t let one painful moment convince you that you are abandoned.

Replies

Ashtyn Harris May 11, 2026 at 1:31pm

Hare Krsna prabhu. The fact that you stopped immediately, felt regret, and are sincerely worried about offending Sri Krsna and Mother Yashoda already shows that your heart is moving toward bhakti, not away from it. A person who is truly offensive usually feels no remorse at all.

We all carry old habits and reactions from past conditioning, especially when frustrated with ourselves. The important thing is that you caught yourself before completing it and your conscience immediately awakened. That is actually a sign of spiritual progress and sincerity.

Rather than drowning in guilt, take this moment as a lesson in humility and dependence on Krsna. Offer a sincere prayer to Thakur Ji and Yashoda Maiya, chant attentively, and continue your seva with honesty. Bhakti is not destroyed by one disturbing thought or an unfinished impulse — it is protected by sincerity, repentance, and continued devotion.

Also, please don’t blame seva for your stress. As you already realized, the real struggle is with the mind and laziness, something almost every practitioner battles with at some stage free top games. Try creating a balanced routine for study, rest, chanting, and family time so frustration doesn’t build internally.

Krsna is known as Bhava-grahi - He sees the intention and sincerity of the heart. Your fear of losing bhakti itself shows how much you value it. Keep going steadily, stay humble, and don’t let one painful moment convince you that you are abandoned.
Gayatri April 27, 2026 at 9:17am

Hare Krishna,

You stopped yourself from comitting sin against Lord. That is good part. But make sure you wont repeat it next time.

What do you want us to say? I cannot help you in anyway.

You need to be analysing yourself what and why you have been dragged to doing such an aparadh?

What made you become so much arrogant that you felt like insulting Lord?

You sit in silence.. and carefully analyse your mind and write everything on a peice of paper and ponder on it.

Next time when you are exposed to such situations ------How best are you going to change your mind to good topics?

If this continues what steps are you going to take next time to avoid the same situation

Plan it all properly and write it out in a peice of paper and click a picture of it and post it here.

Let me see what are your ways to control your mind.

Hare Krishna

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