sometimes I go out and see girls i get attracted towards them, lusty thoughts come in my mind, is there a magical way I feel no attraction towards other gender?
Hare krishna
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Hare KRsna Prabhuji,
PAMHO.
There is no magical way. There is a pleasing way - that is to develop a higher taste by knowledge. Then one may still appreciate beauty, but one is not bewildered by beauty of the skin and is able to keep perspecitve.
What I mean is - I dont know if you know of that story of a young girl. Someone became attracted to her and approached wanting to enjoy her. She asked that person to return in a week. When he retruned in a week, the house was smelling and the girl was a shadow of herself, all worn out and haggard, he could barely recognise her. When he asked her what was the matter, she replied that her beauty is stored in the bags around the house. It was full of vomit and excreta. She had been storing through the week. Her point was the body is a bag of stool and urine. Regardless of how beautiful a person appears, this is what is beneath the skin.
I have personally tried to remember this story everytime I have seen someone physically attractive.
Another way - develop higher taste, is to dutifully admire the deities shringar everyday. It could be on photo, video or by visit to temple. When we admire the deities, our sense of seeing is getting purified. Spend time going through the detailing of shringar, imagine yourself dressing up the deities some day in that manner. Or if you have deities and serve them, try to copy some shringar that struck you as attractive. Once you develop attraction for deities, this bodily lust will appear very insignificant.
Constantly read books of Srila Prabhupada.
This is in addition to what everyone else has said - chant 16, follow 4, ABCD of devotion.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Yoga and knowlege creates magic. Life is karma, you live and you act. By life itself you are bound to action. If you live as a body,- you get lust. If you live as an atma, you do not get lust.
Hare Krishna,
What Prathik prabhu pointed is all correct. One should just now how to Regulate Senses and Divert Mind to Higher Purpose than this lower level happiness. Lust is something which you are feeling within yourself when you look at some girls ..It gives you some mild happiness so you are indulging in this activity. This is very selfish way of enjoying your ownself. Lower level. Even animals also doing this activity but they procreate when they feel lusty atleast. Right?
Animals are atleast using this sexual energy to procreate new life. This is nice .. But one who is selfishly enjoying his own self how lower level is this karma.
Karma is of 4 types.
1. One which gives happiness to oneself is least type of karma. it is not useful to anyone. neither is productive and creating life.
2. One which gives happiness to ones own family members ( like one person earns money and feeds himself and his own family and no one else. this is better then the first type of karma).
3. Next best among the karma is our life is useful for betterment or satisfaction or happiness of others. ( If one gives pleasure to other living beings with our activites is the better then the previous Karma, being useful for humanity like doing community service).
4. Last but not the least and best among all Karmas is working for the pleasure of Lord Sri Krishna.
Why the 4th karma is given such highest ranking you should know.
Krishna belongs to all beings and we all jivas ( souls) are part and parcel of Sri Krishna. We are not separate entities from Lord. Like how is your hand seperate from you body tell? Similaly We are all belonging to Krishna. So Whom should you be serving? It is Lord Sri Krishna none other. If this hand thinking I am going to enjoy seperately away from the body and separating from the body and going to a secluded place to enjoy selfishly is it okay?
Similarly even girl or boy also all are coming from Krishna. You are identifying your self as boy so you are getting attracted to girl. But actually you this body is just like outer covering .. when we die. The outer covering is gone and becomes ashes ( burnt to ashes) what is left is only Soul. The soul is genderless and eternally servant of Lord Sri Krishna... ( Jivera Swaroopa hoye Krishnera Nitya Dasa). The swaroopa of jivas or soul is only servant of Krishna. It is our false ego that we are identifying ourself with this body this outer covering and getting attracted to other bodies. But eternally all are only souls and souls are genderless and souls are all parts and parcel of Krishna.
Serving other souls and being useful to others is atleast better then serving oneself. Serving Krishna is highest and most desirable because you are not serparate entity away from Krishna.
Do one thing.., when ever you get lusty thoughts divert your mind.. to this thought. That " I belong to Krishna" I am not separate from Lord. I am servant of Lord Krishna.. I have to serve Krishna for HIS pleasure not my own selfish pleasure. And Parmatma is sitting inside my heart watching all my actions and witness it. Am i doing right action? Is it okay just to pleasure myself or work for Krishna's pleasure. Just bring Krishna into picture as soon as Krishna comes into picture lust is magically lost. This is sure shot magical way a cure for lust.-
->>-Once your mind is diverted all ur senses are also diverted to Krishna. Because senses ( eyes, nose, tongue, skin, ears) are going outside to find pleasure.. and seeking pleasure outwardly. EYES seeing beautiful things and getting attracted.. NOSE liking this beautiful scents woman perfumes.. TONGUE seeking kiss( and tasty things..spicy and bad food non veg, onion garlic, intoxicants).... SKIN seeking touch of opposite sex.. EAR seeking something pleasurable to hear to add to ur lusty thoughts and CONSTANT Indulging like this for selfish pleasure the Mind is ATTACHED to these senses. If these senses are directed to Krishna's same senses will be serving Krishna ..
-->>TONGUE- tasting prasadam, SKIN- doing seva of Krishna deity, EYES-- seeing only Good things and Reading Krishna books. ..EARS- Hearing to only Krishna Katha.. NOSE-- Smelling the Tulasi leaves on the Lotus feet of the Lord and Agarbatti offered to Lord or Aarti. In this way if you engage your sense and regulate senses then Mind is magically diverted to Krishna ..
==>>What you are going to do is bring Krishna to ur mind as soon as lusty thoughts come. Becoz you belong to Krishna. Krishna is watching everything whatever you are doing. You maybe hiding from people and enjoying indulging but you are not alone. Parmatma is always with you. Krishna is with you always remember this. Krishna says in Bhagwad gita that He is seated in the Heart of every being. Then there is no place away from Krishna where you can hide and indulge in lusty things. Only thing is when you are FORGETTING HIM you are doing such stuff Unconsciously.
Become CONSCIOUS OF KRISHNA that KRISHNA IS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME. THIS IS WHAT IS CALLED KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS. this is magic way to remove instantly from girls to Krishna.
Most beautiful is Only KRISHNA .. Most attractive is ONLY Krishna. Then how come you can lust anything else? Only thing is you just need to divert you mind to Krishna and you must get CONSCIOUS OF THE PRESENCE OF KRISHNA. And stop doing selfish activity of pleasuring self.
Serve atleast family memebers, or serve humanity.. serve God. Keep busy engage in serving either humanity or God. Don't seek selfish pleasure Become Selfless and serve others become useful for others. Serving Krishna is like serving all jivas. So best is to divert ur mind to Krishna.
Hare Krishna.
Hare Krishna Paarth Prabhu,
Dandavat Pranam to you.
I offer my respectful obeisances unto all the Vaiṣṇava devotees.
I personally don't think the solution is 'no attraction towards other gender' - this seems very unnatural to me since this is not how nature is designed. Attraction will be there, and it's nature law and natural, a quality present in all species - pegions, ants, humans etc. But you identified correctly that the biggest problem is in fact lust. From lust to love?...
A magical way can be (let us assume as) Bhakti Yoga. It is a process which awakens our natural love for God and parallelly purifies our consciousness. Bhakti Yoga gives us real happiness and I don't know if lust is removed or suppressed or whatever it is, but I have heard/seen that the practitioner of Bhakti Yoga at one stage finds no interest in lusty things (yes, no interest is the word), because he/she finds a better and a higher taste in Krishna Consciousness, and it's related activities. This is a very practical result. Thus, he/she sees everyone with love - no matter what gender.
I think you have asked an intelligent query because even Arjun asked the same thing to Lord Krishna! Krishna discusses this with him and in one verse he says - check this (link). -- "Therefore, O Arjuna, best of the Bhāratas, in the very beginning curb this great symbol of sin [lust] by regulating the senses, and slay this destroyer of knowledge and self-realization."
Did He say "by regulating the senses"? This God has said Himself. Period. So this also means that our assumption that bhakti yoga might be the magical way to curb lust, is now proved to be true. I think Krishna says this because in Bhakti Yoga, the best method to regulate the senses is being followed i.e. following the four regulative principles - of 1. No meat/eggs eating, No intoxications including tea/coffee, No gambling and No illicit sex, all this followed with the power of chanting. What more can help regulate the senses and to purify our consciousness? Also, engaging the senses in Krishna-conscious matters either reading, watching, listening, eating or doing some activity that is centered around Krishna helps a lot. We are human, and we do make mistakes, but we should strive to progress in Krishna-consciousness rather than fall back into Maya's clutches again. I also always keep this in mind.
With regard to dealings with opposite gender, until & unless wherever necessary, you can keep the dealings:
1. Short and Sweet.
2. To the point, and
3. Formal.
Your Servant,
------------------------
Views/Opinions are my own and does not reflect or represent the views of any other person, group, institute or organization like ISKCON, or others.
Hare Krishna,
I offer my respectful obeisances unto all the Vaiṣṇava devotees.
Also, prabhuji if can you visit iskcon ludhiana on a regular basis that will also really help you. We can see they have Sunday feast program (link). You can take your family and friends also. There is a youth program as well in this temple, including others & it's free - so please join karo. Call 9216506255 to check if temple is open and functioning, and if yes, do take advantage of association.
In my life also I face a lot of situations like you are facing now, and devotee association has helped me a lot, so I am suggesting this.
Your Servant,