hare krishna........
i am a neophyte.i am only following the chanting of 16 rounds and no meat eating rules.my husband is a neophyte too but he is more advanced.we have decided to leave eating onion & garlic preparation & eat only prasadam.i too want to follow my husband.but i have many problems......
first of all as our parents & relatives are non-devotees & do not support our views i am afraid that how to maintain in such a situation...i am attached to them & i can't avoid them becoz of this....please advice me on this......
secondly like other materialistic women i too have certain dreams to go with my husband & enjoy beautiful places....but my husband wants to practice krishna consiousness sincerely & told me that i should not think like so....but is following KC means that we wont enjoy our maritial bliss.......
plz devotees i need ur sincere advice on these matters......
i have got enjoying mentality.i need ur advice on how to overcome this....i dont want to follow anything forcibly..i want to understand & follow everything through my heart.........
from a fallen soul........
Replies
Hare Krsna Mataji,
PAMHO.
Believe me, I identify so much with everything you write. I was also struggling to leave onion garlic and was facing opposition from my family. Finally, I gave up during one trp to Mayapur and went back home and told my parents. They said after 3 days, now that your shauq (fancy) is over, remove the tulsi beads and start having onion garlic food. I didnt do, then after 2 months, they also went to Mayapur and took tulsi beads in Rajapur.
In your case, your husband is with you and as per you, stronger in his resolve to follow the path of Krishan Consciousness. Therefore, there will be no problems. You will be able to tide over quite smoothly. The way you love your family, they also love you. They will understand taht this is important to you and adjust accordingly. I know of families where non veg is also taken by extended family and because the lady of the house does not want, the husband cooperates and does not allow non veg to be cooked in the house even when extended family has come over for a meal or for few days.
Regarding going on trips with your husband, ISKCON has centres all over the world. You can maybe decide to stay in ISKCON temple wherever you go, attend the morning program and then go for sightseeing. Alternatively, you could attend any of the yatras that are frequently held in ISKCON. Those are very fulfilling and helps in spiritual progress very fast.
Best of luck mataji.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Rashmi
thank u mataji for ur kind advice.......my problem is that i want to enjoy material world.when i see my friends & relatives going to various places not necessarily spiritual places then i also crave to go & enjoy.........is it permissible......if not then how to control myself......
Hare KRsna Mataji,
It depends on how you want to go about it. I will give you two thought processes - you choose.
1) By all means, plan your holidays, even with your friends group and go with them. Remember one thing, when we are on holiday, we tend to eat more and sleep more. Therefore, we should also chant more. Wherever you go, you have to have to chant, extra if not your committed rounds atleast. You also have to continue without onion garlic. Its possible. I know someone who was not wearing tulsi beads because he was a frequent visitor to China for business purpose. Then after one trip, he himself came and wore the kanthi mala, saying where he goes in interior China, he has managed to find someone who will supply him veg food w/o onion and garlic. When there is a will, God shows the way. You can also decide to start or end your trip with a holy place. For eg: if you are going to North India, you may decide to start or end with Vrindavan. Wherever you go in India, its easy to find a holy place nearby. Else, if you are going abroad, you make it a point to spend atleast half a day in the local ISKCON temple attending programs.
2) In one seminar I attended recently, I had posed a similar question to HH Brhad Bhagvatamrt Maharaj - whether we should wait to let the feeling go away naturally,or whether we should force ourselves. The answer Maharaj gave was - KC is all about voluntary force. Since you know that it is better to visit only holy places, you force yourself to go only there.
Its your choice, you are fortunate. You have a husband with whom you can discuss and do what both of you think is right or workable for you. God has made us all different, we should do as much as comfortable to us. Never make the mistake of making KC a burden. Our relationship with Krsna should be to enjoy permanent bliss, not one of obligation, which appears a burden after some time.
I hope I have been able to answer your question somewhat.
Haribol,
Your servant.
Hare Krishna Mataji..
I am not sure who asked you to sit back and not enjoy going to places. God never asked you to do that. Whatever you do, whatever you eat, first offer it to Krishna and then you can do it or have it.
There will be a time when there will be a strong urge which will make you lose interest in all the materials. But that time will be decided by the Lord. So, for now, since you have already surrendered to the Lord, you pls go ahead with your marital life. There is no need to pull yourself back from it.
Krishna says in Gita, trying to avoid something forcefully but having that desire in the mind is just like fooling one self. They are said to be hypocrites. So, pls dont have any doubts. You are a devotee of the Lord and He will take care of you at all times. You just lead your life happily.
Regards,
Subash
thx prabhuji 4 ur advice...
Mataji,
These are very genuine issues. Since you are new to KC you have these questions. Keep these goals in mind:
Chanting 16 rounds
4 Regulative Principles.
Just dont worry about the other things and avoid mixing heavily with other so-called advanced devotees. Only The Supreme Lord decides who is advanced and who is not. None of us can tell who is advanced and who is not. If with one pointed attention you continue these good practices and continue to do the other things normally without feeling guilt ; the Lord will make all material adjustments in good time and solve all problems. I speak from personal experience Mataji. So just relax and do not stress yourself too much
Kindly help Spread the Teachings of Lord Chaitanya
thx prabhuji 4 ur advice