Hare Krishan PAMHO,
Prabhujis and mataji. I am trying to do bhakti since last 2and half years. Attending Bhakti vriksha classes. Doing daily 16 rounds. I have 4 members family.I am working and doing all household work my own with daily sadhna, lectures reading.Weekly Bhakti classes also. Some times we are asked to do seva also. I also want to do seva of devotess.
It is a seva of Krishna himself. Its good feeling after doing anykind of spiritual seve....cooking..festival seva...rath yatra..temple festivals.
My question is this many times its too difficult to do seva which is expected to us...because of lack of time...due to some family responsibility....I try to do my best in bhakti.
I respect my mentors and dont want to deny for seva.I want to fullfill their expectations in devotion.
I think i will say no to them with some genuine reasons..They can think that i am always giving some excuses as many devotee mataji gives.
In this situation what to do ... must do the seve or say straight forward to our mentor that its difficult for me to do this. One devotee told me that if u r not in a position to do seva , say no to them with respect.They will definatley understand your situation.
..I cannt manage all duteis with my poor health also and also want to progess in bhakti also.
PLZ forgive for any mistake, as my english is poor.
Kindly clearify me.
Ys
Vandana
Replies
Hare Krsna Mataji,
PAMHO.
I have a question to ask you - is your family also into Krsna Consciousness? I think you are married - most important is your husband - is he also a practising sadhaka like you?
I suspect the answer is no. I am giving my reply like that.
If any mataji is into devotional sadhana and is also taking care of family whihc is not on this path - there is a growing awareness being created in ISKCON to treat that mataji differently than a devotee family mataji. The reason being - your family is future devotee - you have to preach to them through your behaviour. Normally, what is seen is that initially people are so interested in preaching to family members, that too forcefully, that they actually take their family away from Krsna.
Therefore you have to see the following:
Your first duty is towards your family - please do that with love and patience. Next if you are working, you have to take care of your job also. In between all this, you have to do your sadhana. Therefore, typically sadhana suffers. On top of that, you add devotional service - seva in the temple also, then it is too many things to handle at the same time. You have to always strike a balance. If you take care of your family properly, they are sure to reciprocate and allow you your "seva time" on ocassions. You have to take care of your health mataji to be able to do all that you want to.
Do you have a puja ghar or altar at home? Please serve your deities nicely mataji. Be very strict with your sadhana - do your chanting properly, do mangal arati as a bare minimum. Read Srila Prabhupada books regularly and systematically.
Regarding service, be clear about what and how much you can do - never at the cost of your family's convenience.
Think about it - does Krsna sit with a checklist - she did 2 hours service, she did 10 min service? Does He want logevity of service or does He want service with love and devotion? Chanting is also service mataji.
A lot of times we are serving to please our senior matajis and to gain acceptance in the temple congregation as a very useful person. Be honest with yourself and focus on why you are doing devotion - to please Krsna. He knows and understands your heart and He sees only the sincerity of the desire in your heart.
YOu have to serve with time, place, circumstance in mind. I am not stopping you from serving at all, do it judiciously and with a clear purpose of pleasing Krsna. Change your consciousness, then what you do in your normal life itself becomes a service. Serve when you can, when you cannot because of family exigencies, say from before so that others dont depend on you and get annoyed later on.
Do not carry guilt in your heart mataji. Carry love for Krsna in your heart and when you cannot serve, carry the honest sincere desire in your heart to serve. He is bhaavgrahi, He only sees the sincerity of the heart. If you are sincere and you persevere, He will make things conducive for you to serve.
Best of luck mataji,
Haribol,
YOur servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare krishna mataji,
thanks for such wonderful answer.
Hare Krishna mataji,
Dandvat pranam.
Thank u mataji for a appropriate councelling.Many doubts are clear now.
As u asked me my husband is not a devotee. My both son are mature and doing bhakti.I want to clarify thai I cares my family. and family is first for me always. I do my alll programme n work schedule according to their convience always.My son admits this.They always cooperates me.But my bad luck. My husband sees all fault in me and in our children. Even Before joining to KC,.
Whatever I do with love n respects he shouts on me.Nobody can satisfy him.My Inlaws were now accepts his poor behaviour.Even they talk to him just for formality.He never cooperate me in upbring of children also.I was statying with him just becuse of society.I dont want to defame my parents n inlaws.
Now I realised that there is only one shelter Krishna n he is the only one who can protect me.Lord krishna gave me feeling of love.And now I want to develope that relation by doing more seva.
I love to do chanting in moring n aarti also. But as time is limited cant engage in full service.
aarti,bhog....that also needs time.I love doing kirtan whenver time in home. I enjoy all activities. But some time too much..some time a little. Dont know why?
I think if i left the job can do bhakti also with the careing of family also as I cannt give proper time n attentin to them n bhakti also. As my elder is also working. What u suggest pls tell.
Ys
vandana
Hare Krsna Mataji,
PAMHO.
I understand your pain. It must have been very very difficult to bring up your kids with such a husband. Now Krsna has given you mercy to alleviate all your pain. Please do your sadhana strictly mataji.
If your son is working, is in bhakti, and is promising to take care of you, and you want to quit working so that you can do your sadhana properly, please do so mataji. How many years before you retire mataji? If it ia 1 or 2 years, you may retire and then take your sadhana forward.
To reform your husband, best is not to preach to him in words at all. He is also a future devotee mataji, so please be compassionate towards him. I know nothing will give you more happiness than seeing your husband also on this path. So please patiently feed him prasadam every single meal and do not pay heed to his insults and humiliations. Always be happy. One day he is sure to ask you how you can be so happy despite all the pain he gives you. Then you show him the path to Krsna.
If he demands that you cook onion for him, cut cabbage, put in ice cold water with salt for some time, and then use as if it was onion. Esp in pasta or noodles, one cannot make out the difference at all. For sustituting non veg, you can make soya chunks.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare Krsna,
My obeisances to all devotees, guru and gauranga.
What a perfect reply Rashmi mataji.
Your response is pretty much game, set and match. Perfect and practical response to the query.
Chant and be happy.
Srila prabhupada ki jai..
Hare krsna
The only duty of advanced devotees is to love the Lord with all their hearts and never forget Him no matter what they do.
On another side, for beginners who`s heart didnt melt because deep love for God even after 50 years of chanting, vaishnava seva is essential for progress.
Advanced level in bhakti yoga is not determent by time being in process, its determent by statement of heart and mind.