yesterday in my offline class in school, I was mentally abused by 3 classmates.They were beating me with their shoe lace but I kept on ignoring them.i told the teacher about this but she just ignored everything, I remember that that day was a very bad day for me... I just wanted to ask what to do in such a situation in which a person stronger than you along with his or her friends tease and bully you.... what to do in this situation
Hare krishna
Replies
Hare Krishna Paarth Prabhu,
Welcome back to IDt, you left us all saying you can't believe in God and that you wanted to become a Physcist and cannot accept G O D. It is a pleasant surprise to see you back again. So how is ur faith in God now a days?
Here we offer solutions only based on some scriptures and we think God can solve everything. Patience and tolerance is taught to us as soon as we become a Vaishnava.
Vaishnavas are always considered fruit laden trees.. If anyone hits a fruit laden tree with a stone also the tree only offers a fruit back in return. That is how a Vaishnava is basically.
Forgiveness and Compssion for other's sufferings are like oranaments to a Vaishnava.
Okay, If you still think we can give you some solution to your present day to day life problem. Then I believe you still have faith in God, goodness and kindness.
Apart from the solutions offered by all ..which are really great.
1. Ignoring.
2. telling to your teacher.
3. speaking about the issue with parents.,
4. taking help of parents to reach out to Principal.,
5. Setting up a meeting with both party parents along with students, in the presence of Principal and teacher and speaking to the parents and complaining about their child's behavior.
This is allright. You can follow but first of all.
Let you keep yourself in the place of the bully and see and tell me why would a bully do that to harass someone. What gain he has in this?
How you behaved with them previously only made them behave like this with you now isn't it so?
How can someone whom we don't know at all come up to you and torture you without any previous cause?
So tell us how did this start at first. Who is the instigator of this whole situation.
Who provoked whom?
Simply some road side person whom we never knew we don't go to them and beat them with laces right?
The trigger to any problem lies actually within us only. We hurt the ego of some people knowingly or unknowingly many times.., and that ego hurt person will take revenge on us. when they hurt our ego we feel bad, we complain.. Isn't it not?
My words are surely going to hurt your ego I know I am telling the fact so, I am not accepting whatever you said as truth and trying to find the real cause. When we don't accept others opinions there is conflict and which is where many times other party's ego gets hurt.
EGO is a big time problem in our world. Even minor things which we feel it is just normal cool talk can be misunderstood by the other party.
so, keeping out our ego's aside, if we see that God is present in all. And God comes to us in many ways to teach us lesson. We may try to understand the solution to the above problem easily.
One Story which I remember
Once upon a time there was great saint by name Eknath in Maharastra. He was a great devotee of Lord Sri Krishna. His main aim in life was only to please Sri Hari panduranga Vittalnath. He was getting popular in the town that his bhajans and kirtans. Which caused in people bhakti to flow automatically. A saint usually carries a great vibe .., whereever he went people gathered around him. This caused some jealousy in the preists and brahminas they wanted to degrade him and show to people that he is a culprit. Though offenseless Ekanth was., he never showed any outward feeling of pride , But these brahminas considered him to be prideful and arrogant. He was clever also and was reciting all slokas with clear memory. But the jealous preists and other brahminas wanted to degrade him somehow and show to all people that he is taking pride in the honor and respect he gets and and also wanted to make him bad in other's eyes. They created stories about him. that didn't work. so they brought a butcher into the scene paid him some money, and asked him to spit on Ekanatha as soon as he comes out of Narmada river from bathing. That day the Butcher sat near the ghat of the river and waiting for Ekanath to come out of water. As soon as he came He sat in the way slicing the meat and spitting directly on the face of Ekanath.
Ekanth didn't react to it. He simply smiled and went back to river took another bath and came out. Again the butcher spat on his face. Ekantha smiles and goes back takes bath and comes back. The bully was trying to make him get angered so that ... people can know that he is prideful of being a brahmina and somehow wanted to insult him. this happened like 9 times. Each time Ekanatha never lost his control and simply smiled and got back to the river and came back. This butcher kept Paan in his mouth chewed and waited to spit again on him. Like this 10th times Ekanath didn't react at all. But the butcher only got exhausted and his mouth began to burn due to the paan chewing with lot of supari and zarda his mouth burnt like anything, he took to the knees and held Ekanth's feet and cired. "How can you be so tolerant?." "How can you not react to what I did to you?". Please tell.
Then Ekantha ji said..I am not angered by you at all. Infact you gave me oppurtunity to bath in river so many times and I am thankful to you for this. It is the nature of the snake to be spiteful and revengeful , If it cannot leave its behavior and how do you expect me to leave my innate quality of being tolerant and kind. This is how I am made by god. That is how the snake is made by God. and Krishna is present in you and me also. How can I ever be angered at your behavior...and I am sorry that I made you chew so much betel nut and zarda and made your mouth burn so badly. Oh please brother, come to my home and take some rest and let me put some honey and medicine to ur burnt mouth. That butcher was really moved by this nature of the great saint. He left his bad company and returned back the amount given to him to bully Ekantha and became one of his disciples.
If you ask me. Who is into bhakti yoga., I would tell this only. to tolerate and if possible make friends with them. I strongly recommend you to extend ur hand and make friends with those bullies. Instead of retaliating and fighing making them shameful for their act calling in parents and making them ashamed in front of all class for their behvior this way .. you will permantly wreck the relationship and you will make permanant foes.
Have you read anytime Stroy of Angulimal and Gautama buddha.,
Have you read how Nityananda Prabhu delt with Jagai Madaai and convinced Chaitanaya Mahaprabhu to accept them as his disciples and forgive them.
There are innumerable stories in Vaishnavism which speak about forgivenss and compassion and seeing Krishna in all beings and accepting them as brothers.
Please tell those people who bully you that.. If that gives you pleasure by doing so.. pls. continue. and don't act rude in saying so. be humble and say If I were in you place I would have accepted you by now as my friend and forgived you for any ego clashes that created this mess in the first place.
Please be humble and show no arrogance when you say so and extend your hand of friendship. And end this situation permanantly.
Hare Krishna.
Thanks 😊 mataji for your great advice. You adviced this idiot and fallen soul, dandwat pranaam
Hare Krsna Paarth prabhu,
PAMHO.
The way to deal is always difficult. A person will bully as along as he thinks you are weak and will not retaliate. If he thinks you can retaliate, he will stop.
YOu have to be quietly assertive. Never react, respond. In this case, you did the right thing by going to your teacher. You have seen no reaction from the teacher. So next time, you have to move yourself away from the bullies. If they persist, which they are likely to do, go to student counsellor/ class monitor if there is any. If not, and things are becoming disturbing for you, tell your parents and make them write/ speak with Principal.
It will require calmness of mind and tolerance to not react. If you chant mahamantra, you will get strength. If you read Gita as well, you will get direction and knowledge that this bullying is so so temporary. It will pass as soon as it has come. Nobody can harm you, because Krsna is there to protect you. Make relations with Krsna and be happy.
Do write back and tell about the developments.
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
🙂😇prabhu ji thanks alot it really helped me. A big dandwat pranaam from this fallen and idiotic soul
Hare Krishna Paarth Prabhu.
Even I had faced some same more trauma in my school days due to my weak body and mind, so I can relate to your context & I regret that I couldn't do anything then as living in ignorance. I understand truly that strong people usually try to defeat weak ones as they know surely that the other person can't say or hit them out of fear of being hitten back or abused. In which class you are? Some tips I'd like to mention below which could relieve your stress mentally because nowadays mental stress is been found more in youth than old people. Shame on our modern education & materialistic people we are living around. Sometimes even our own parents neglect these things due to (log kya kahenge) or we aren't able to tell them openly what we are going through.
1. Those rascals will bully you until you will allow them to bully you, like let's say you are a person who doesn't like to interfere in anyone but instead some other person intentionally tries to defame you so, in that case, be courageous, try to ignore their bully in a sense that they should think like isko toh kuch farak nahi padta.
2. I guess you've told this incident to your parents so that if those rascals have tortured you physically as well, your parents can complain to the principal & get signed by them in writing for not repeating this again.
3. If you are fearing that by complaining they will again abuse you or attack you, then, please boy talk with those rascal's parents along with your parents & let them know if anything goes wrong, you will be responsible.
4. As you mentioned that they have beaten you with shoelaces, you can show the marks to your parents & principal.
5. Never think like that I am weak or dull, I am good for nothing, you are you in 7 billion people of the world, we can't be you & you can't be us. You need to be mentally strong than being strong physically & for that try to associate with male monks in ISKCON, tell them your problem & they will guide you to the best. I know you are strong, just a time is bad. We all have challenges but we can't live a coward right?
6. Read Bhagawad Geeta daily, you will gain inner strength.
7. Try to listen to HG Amogh Lila Prabhu's videos on youtube, he really deals with the problems of youth & last but not least.
8. Lord Krishna is within your soul, why to worry when you have Hari.
I understand that things take time even after coming to spirituality, spirituality is not a magic that all our problems will be wiped away in a day but it will strengthen us to fight against all odds.
Dandwat pranaam prabhu g,thanks for guiding this fallen soul 🙏 hare krishna