Hare Krsna prabhus and matajis,
On most occasions, being chill and cant be bothered about anything are my known qualities. It is so rare I exhibit temper as most of the time I ignore and just move on not looking back or thinking of the negative, infact I dispose an extreme level of patience most of my peers and family members dont.
But if my temper is triggered,, I dont know how to control it. I shout and blow my tops with very sharp piercing words. I go on and on for almost half hour no one wants to be around. Today after it happened again, I was driving my car in high speed as I was burning with krodha i didnt realise when I had put a sudden brake close to my house. Watching my car come to a sudden halt, a young teenager riding his bike few metres behind me in panic, skidded off and hurt himself. He wasnt hurt badly but he surely was bleeding I could see. I got out of my car and went to aid him immediately but eventually ended up showing my temper to him for driving like a little girl and not having a valid license. I even called him an idiot and wanted to slap him for asking me to pay for the damage caused to his bike though I didnt hit him. I didnt pay him a cent nor said sorry for stopping my car abruptly . The only thing I did was help him wash his wound while scolding the poor boy.
Do you realise how my negative vibrations caused someone to be hurt??? I feel so disapointed with myself and shameful the way I acted I could eat soil if I have to. This is no way to behave most especially being in Krsna Conciouss I know. Im tired,,, I cant deal with this,,, please tell me what I should do..Ill take anything. I made biggest aparadh again by scolding my Lord Ganesh :(