Hare Krishna!
Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada,
I am 30 now. In my childhood days I have done many sins like I killed so many ants brutally, innocent rats, frogs, snakes and many small animals.
Now i have realized that I did the hardest sins in my life.
I am chanting the Holy Hare Krishna Mahamantra but still I am not satisfied (though only 3 rounds per day by Japa bead and on the way and other times without bead ) and always feel myself guilty.
I am real sinner for many small innocent animals and want to atone right now. What to do?
Please suggest.
Just Servant
Replies
Even though you will suffer some karma, if you sincerely chant Hare Krsna with a pure and contrite heart your karma can be neutralized. Also do some volunteer work at your local animal rescue and spread the word about the abhorrent sin of animal abuse and neglect.
if you really want to atone here is my suggestion (keep in mind that I am very unqualified, and this just feels "right" to me, so confirm with other devotees too)
1) Happily accept the sins and the associated "curses". Thus when you follow the next few steps, your mind is completely free from that guilt (and your mind is not thinking: "I am chanting so I can get rid of these sins")
2) Try to chant at least one round in full KC mode (ie. try to not let your mind wander, etc. Focus on the sweetness of chanting the Lord's name... it's not an easy task though)
3) Preach Lord Krishna's name. There is nothing more pleasing to Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Lord Nityananda Prabhu, Srila Prabhupada and all devotees than just preaching Lord Krishna's name to everyone. You don't have to be a scholar to do this because you can preach Krishna's name is so many ways. For example, if you have a nice voice - do some harinama sankirtana; or if you play instruments nicely, then play instruments. But contribute contribute contribute in whatever small way to preaching Lord Krishna's name. If you are a great cook, cook some prasadam and distribute it to the devotees and to the stray animals.
If we chant the Mahamantra with the intention of freeing ourselves from sinful reaction, we do get the benefits too since Krishna is so merciful, but we never get to experience the relish of the Mahamantra since our mind is so focused on sins. So accept the sins and the consequences you will get, and just serve Krishna to your heart's content.
I'm not sure if this is a proper way of freeing yourself from sins, but you can (in addition) feed animals some prasadam, offer some sugar to ants, etc. Be sure to connect everything to Krishna and offer to Krishna first.While giving prasadam, be sure to chant the Mahamantra for the purification of those souls.
very nice!
I also was or still a demon who used to kill many mice, other insects.
But we cannot change the past we only can ask for forgiveness and for the causeless mercy of the Lord and stop sinning now. As like hunter Mrigari was a hunter then when he became a Vaishnava respected even ants.
Your servant,