Hare Krishna! I am coming back to Krishna after falling away for awhile. I am not initiated but I am panicked over having offended Guara Nitai, Nrshimadev, Krishna, and Tulasidevi. About a year ago, I was afraid of losing my husband to divorce over religion. So to keep the peace, I threw away my japa, dieties, altar pictures, books, etc. I mean everything was gone. I want to put my mind at ease because I feel so bad for what I have done. What can I do as penance to make up for the offense?
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Even after Ravana kidnappend Sita Devi Lord Ram says "even if Ravana comes now and says "Oh Lord, I am Yours!" I will accept him"
So it is the promise of our Lord dear Mother Amanda.
So yes, welcome back home - to our huge home or boat to Spiritual world!
Lords Goura Nitay are far more merciful than Lord Ram.
So You are fortunate.
Tears will flow from my eyes now
my voice is choked, my head i bow
To Your feet or dear One of my heart!
My Lord, all compassionate Gopinath!
I cry and beg touching Your feet!
"please forgive me for my cruel deed!"
I am fallen, yes i am so
but You are kind, You are master of my soul!
Oh dear One please forgive!
"I am Yours! accept me please!"
No matter to my faults, or childishness
give me shelter under Your feet like of soft Lotus!
Hare Krsna Mataji,
PAMHO.
Welcome back. I want to extend a very very warm welcome to you. So happy you have come back.
First of all, pick up your bead bags and start chanting again. Krsna will welcome you back with a lot more love than I am capable of. We are all fallible mataji and Krsna knows that. He is Achyuta, the infallible one. The thing is to get back up after falling down and start with greater resolve and humility.
Then get back into association. That is the best way to stay connected. ABCD of devotion mataji - association, books, chanting and diet - these 4 things you need to do. If you can take out time any day of the week, you may do some devotional service in the local ISKCON temple.
Dont worry about aparadhs or offences to Gaur Nitai, Radha Madhav, Nrisimha deva and simply start with your devotional activities.
Haribol,
Best of luck to you,
Your servant,
Rashmi