Having trouble connecting with others

Hello, and thank you all in advance for your advice. I do not live near a temple or know any devotees. I eat prasadam everyday and read. I do not read as much as I would like and I am working on improving the amount of rounds I chant. My family is very cruel and I don't really have anybody. My question is how can I make friends with others when all I see is their selfishness and unwillingness to fight or sacrifice anything to make the world a better place? I do not think I am superior to them in any way other than my actions. I know we are all children of Krsna and I love all life very deeply but how can I reconcile this with their blatant disregard for the rest of the world as long as their senses are satisfied? I feel it is our dharma to change the world for the better and there is not excuse not to. Again, thank you all very much for any advice you have.

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  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


    Pls remember that everyone around you is a future devotee. How you behave with them will determine how fast they come into devotion. I agree that they may be mailicious, or selfish, or forever wanting to gratify their senses - prabhu arent we all a little bit like them even now - with all our knowledge and devotion? Forgive them prabhu, they dont know how else to be.

    Right now what you need to do is to strengthen your devotion, so that nothing can deviate you from the path. You have to follow the ABCD of devotion - Association of Devotees, Book reading, Chanting and Diet of Krsna Prasadam.

    Association of devotees - pls seek online on forums like these, or on whatsapp. If you give me your number, you can send in a personal mail to me, I will add you to my group. 

    The rest you are already trying. Thank you for that. 

    You dont have to make friends with people whose good side you cannot see. Try to be in peaceful coexistence to the extent possible. 

    You or we cannot make the world a better place - it is dukhalayam ashashwatam - temporary and full of miseries. What you can do is to make arrangements to get out of here by doing so much sadhana that Krsna sends Vishnudutas to take you back to Godhead. 


    YOur servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

    • Hare Krsna,

      Thank you for your response. I will continue to work on strengthening my devotion and being more understanding. I know that friendship isn't always on the table and peaceful coexistence should be attempted if possible. I am better at behaving like a proper devotee when the relationship is strictly non personal because I see it more as my duty. I don't really have anybody in my life so I have been trying to work on connecting with people on a personal level but it always just seems as if we are worlds apart priority wise. I don't know any devotees and I feel like lowering my expectations wouldn't do me any good either but maybe that is me being judgemental. I would like to know what you think. Also I know you are correct about this world being temporary and full of miseries but I don't know how to not fight to make it a better place. How can I see all of Krsna's children in so much pain and not do everything in my power to help them? Detachment is obviously an area that I need to work on I just don't want to lose my compassion in the process. I will say that I feel much better after joining this website. Being able to talk to other devotees is a blessing that cannot be understated.

      Also thank you for offering to add me to your group. When you say I can send you personal mail do you mean email?
  • Thank you both for your advice. Sometimes it is hard for me to accept the state the world is in when I see what it could be. So when I see selfishness or cruelty I get angry and judgemental. If someone is struggling it is easier for me to be compassionate but how can I show respect to someone who just seems to love hurting others to make themselves feel big?
    • People who love hurting others to make themselves feel better are usually those who have been wounded badly in the past and have spiralled downwards because of that. These people have lost something once upon a time and are now constantly trying to regain that same something in any way they can. Understanding this doesn't mean that we should approach such aggressive people though, unless we're meant to have some sort of connection with that person. Such people should be avoided until the Lord from within changes them and the best respect you can show them is being assertive and reserved around them. Such people should be made aware that their behaviour is unacceptable and that it alienates those around them. Still we should be aware that being rude or aggressive in response only makes us look bad and not like devotees of the Lord. 

      In your mind just think what a great devotee of the Lord would do, and try to follow that.

      I hope that helped.

      • Thank you very much it helped a lot.

        Hare Krsna
  • Hare Krishna Anthony. I think you are asking a very important and interesting question as its a phase that I went through at one point too. 

    You have to remember that everyone is trying their best in their lives. Everyone has personal struggles and are on their own spiritual journeys. Remember that in the Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna says, "all beings follow my path". This means that all people are being dictated to by the Lord and are following His path. But all paths are different. Try and be more understanding of individuals, where they are coming from in their lives and they will appreciate your non-judgemental nature and maybe surprise you with some of the good qualities that they also possess.

    Also change starts from the self. When you make positive changes to yourself (because no one is perfect) people might start to see you more and feel inspired and want to connect with you more. The more spiritualized you become, the more attractive you will be to others.

  • hi friend you can join different NGOs. There you may find people of your choice and also make lot of friends. You can also serve other people through them.

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