Harmony between men and women

Hare Krishna...i have a doubt...

Scriptures tell us what is the nature of women and of men. And it is distinctly said, women are emotional and less intelligent in practical matters, whereas men are not soft hearted but very practical and intelligent.

And this difference is said to keep social life harmonius. I wonder how can there be affection and harmony, when a woman has more emotional needs which can't be understood by a "logical minded man".

Even among devotee grihastas, how can there be peace and love when suppose man being more practical, focuses on following all rules 'strictly' in Spirituality, whereas a woman is more emotional and handles things more lovingly....

But, anyone can see clearly, that today best relationships are those where every member is both emotional+ practical. Both men and women are capable of understanding emotions and thus being caring and understanding more.

When decisions are made in practical matters, there are high chances of women being satisfied with the mutual agreemement as such women can think and realise the significance of making some decision.

On other hand, if the same is done in a family where the extremities of nature and duties are followed, a emotional woman may find it hard to cope up with the decisions male members make in family, as they are not allowed or trained to think in logical way(which comes from education and exposure to world that teaches such skills and "makes women intelligent"

In non-devotee people too, best maintained relations are those, where both male and female are capable of understanding each other, as both can think wisely and both can be understanding. There are few chances of crashes that way too, from my family i have nice examples😊

Then, How can I understand and believe in the extreme point of view Scriptures and guru tell....?

Please forgive me for the long question...Thank you for reading it😊🙏

Hare Krishna,

The thing is mata ji/prabhu ji whoever it maybe on the other end, these marraiges which are having equality in all standards ( between couples) ideally such marriages don't exist.

There is no equality and we must know to strick a balance between the two extreme ends, then only marriages can withstand all the misunderstanding thrown from outside or between the couple.

logical+ practical man+ emotional = Ideal dreamy man doesn't exist. If that really exists then no one will care to look for God anymore. The only ideal man who is logical cum practical cum emotional yet perfect renunciate is Krishna.

men are not made with all things and one man cannot have all things some lacunae is there in men also.

either he is logical in thinking but practically cannot apply it.. or he is emotional cannot handle situations properly practically. there are many combinations but all threee qualities don't exist.

or he can handle situations practically when the time comes and postpones all to the end until the real problem araises.

Balance in a family is attained by a combination of male and female who are willing to hold on to a committed long term relationship even when are totally mismatched. This is rarely observed in today's world.

one fights because of ego clashes. One is feeling he is greater then other then surely there will be a fight.

now a days woman are earning well, doing all things what a men can do, but sadly in this multi tasking handling work place and family the chidren are most neglected. They are paying high wages for a nanny and employing and even putting nanny cams to keep a watch over the nanny but they are not able to share the love and care which a mother can give at all times.

fight will not happen between couple who are treating each other equally and respecting each other and giving value to the long term relationship then to the short term promoting each other's ego. Which is lacking in today's couple. No one really cares. at the drop of the hat they are ready to leave the marriage and rush out to take divorce. Only children are the sufferers here.

Now a days new thing is also rampant. Live-in relationships more to add shame to the Indian tradions, culture and values. Shamelessly even woman are opting this to satisfy their body needs only whenever necessary, then to long term committments. Because they know definately they are not going to live up to each others expectations.

Ideal marriages picture perfect dreamy marriages don't exist so just understand one thing, even man are having some lacuna so as woman too. No woman is now a days a pativrata naari. In olden days shaking hands with an outsider male was considered ( Paani grahan equal to marriage) now a days woman are shaking hands with people and have to do it also. they are not a great mom as they don't take care of the houses properly, ( hand over work to nannies or grannies or house-maids or cooks) neither they are great wives. I can say they are neither doing completely well in their work place too. Then what is the fun of multi tasking. It would be good if they do one thing perfectly well. Either remain Brahmacharini and do dedicated job and get appraisals in work place or take up duties of house wife and mother fully. Hahhaha... and woman find their ego hurt when they are just limited to being termed " house wives." They are now a days changing it to " HOME MAKERS instead of house wives."

These fights between couple misunderstandings is bound to happen because each one is feeling he or she is greater.

But Those couple who see that greater then him or her is Krishna and consider that we are nothing in front of HIM., then only false ego will stop and these misunderstanding will stop.

Being Krishna centric is best. Being Male centric or Being female centric is not going to work in anyway.

To be frank, these days woman are not even emotional. They are lazy. In olden days who said woman had no work only gossiping. Woman in those days did lot of work. They used to get water from the well nearby or lake, wash clothes by hand, for hot water they used to put logs of wood under a couldren and make hot water for taking bath. ( these days we have geysers) wash utensils by hand, there were no grinders and food processors like today they used to grid the floor to make aata and then made rotis' it was very tough life back then. One person of the family was dedicated in doing outside chores purchasing food stuffs getting money another person at home, getting wood by cutting down trees for cooking food...one person was doing almost similar work at home physcially arranging everything on to the plate from the scratch. who said there was no equallity and woman had no work back then just gossiping. Well I find these days woman are really lazy. just tell amazon alexa switch off the lights or order pizza from uber. What does woman do these days at all?

I don't feel nice to even talk more about that Live- in relationships disgusting even woman are opting these shamelessly. so much selfish, lust craving, egoistic generation this new generation has become.. Men also are like this. None of them are living perfectly. THERE IS NEED TO GO BACK TO OUR ROOTS. IF WE LEAVE THIS LIKE THIS IT WILL TURN INTO MORE UGLINESS in GHOR KALIYUG DAYS.

I have much more higher respects for woman of olden days they were good dedicated wives, good caring mothers and good to all people around. They obeyed inlaws and respected elders. They sacrificed their lives to make a man stand. After God its the mother who has that much sacrifice and selflesssness in her.

today's woman are useless ( being a woman myself) I am saying this. They are good for nothing . Neither phsycially fit to even bear a child. obese, lazy and highly egoistic this generation woman have become because of too much freedom, too much independence and too much luxuaries.

When too much independence is given to anyone they start to feel without them the other cannot exist or without the woman there is no God also.

This goes same with men also. They are also very lazy, obese and egoistic. They started to feel without them woman cannot exist and with them God also cannot exist.

The truth is both are wrong.

Krishna should only be the center neither woman centric nor man centric. these kinds of egos are not worth the time in spirituality. work for higher cause not for short term ego satisfaction goals.

You said above--

"Even among devotee grihastas, how can there be peace and love when suppose man being more practical, focuses on following all rules 'strictly' in Spirituality, whereas a woman is more emotional and handles things more lovingly...."

There can be peace and love when their goal is not selfish satisfaction of egos. When the goal is only pleasing Krishna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT3qe6hak40

Woman was considered in olden days as ‘Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni’.

the six virtues of a good wife. when working she should work like a slave, and while advicing she is like a Mantri (cheif advisor to a King), while in bed she should be like like heveanly celestial apsara, when you look at ther you must be able to bow down looking at her glow of laxmi in her face., she pocessess patience like Earth. She is a good wife.

Here where is non equality shown to woman? Woman are treated with such respect only in Sanathana dharma. Which other religion show so much respect to woman?

You know what is position of Mantri ? Prime Minister is more then a President in value we can see in our Indian govt itself. Prime minster is decision maker and King( President) is just rubber stamp. He just passes the rules and orders. Woman are given such a status of Prime Minister in our Sanathana dharma. It means Woman should know every thing study everything. It is not like woman are treated low. They have their value but only when they are within a boundary. If they behave indepndently they are really useless. A man is considered sucessful because of the woman standing behind him. Look such a status if give to woman in our Sanathana dharma but these feminists out there they don't really understand. They want maybe a woman's planet seperately and a man's planet seperately. I Don't think such woman can make a good family at all. those who are so much egoistic of being a female then better they should make another planet for themselves. Ideally woman and man both should reduce their egos and consider living for higher cause ( pleasing Krishna)

Brain+ beauty= deadly combination for female but not all woman are having both in perfection. some are just beautiful and no brains. some are brainy but not beautiful some are emotional but not having brains.

Just like I said above ideal men don't exist similar goes with Ideal woman also don't exist Esp. in this Kaliyuga.

Ideal man is only Krishna , Ideal woman is only Rukmani mata ji.

Krishna is only perfectionist none other is.

Hare Krishna.

Replies

Shyamasundar das NRS June 5, 2021 at 12:10am

You must follow your swami. If you are too emotional, do tapasya. It will render you calm and logical.
Gayatri May 25, 2021 at 8:20am

Hare Krishna,

The thing is mata ji/prabhu ji whoever it maybe on the other end, these marraiges which are having equality in all standards ( between couples) ideally such marriages don't exist.

There is no equality and we must know to strick a balance between the two extreme ends, then only marriages can withstand all the misunderstanding thrown from outside or between the couple.

logical+ practical man+ emotional = Ideal dreamy man doesn't exist. If that really exists then no one will care to look for God anymore. The only ideal man who is logical cum practical cum emotional yet perfect renunciate is Krishna.

men are not made with all things and one man cannot have all things some lacunae is there in men also.

either he is logical in thinking but practically cannot apply it.. or he is emotional cannot handle situations properly practically. there are many combinations but all threee qualities don't exist.

or he can handle situations practically when the time comes and postpones all to the end until the real problem araises.

Balance in a family is attained by a combination of male and female who are willing to hold on to a committed long term relationship even when are totally mismatched. This is rarely observed in today's world.

one fights because of ego clashes. One is feeling he is greater then other then surely there will be a fight.

now a days woman are earning well, doing all things what a men can do, but sadly in this multi tasking handling work place and family the chidren are most neglected. They are paying high wages for a nanny and employing and even putting nanny cams to keep a watch over the nanny but they are not able to share the love and care which a mother can give at all times.

fight will not happen between couple who are treating each other equally and respecting each other and giving value to the long term relationship then to the short term promoting each other's ego. Which is lacking in today's couple. No one really cares. at the drop of the hat they are ready to leave the marriage and rush out to take divorce. Only children are the sufferers here.

Now a days new thing is also rampant. Live-in relationships more to add shame to the Indian tradions, culture and values. Shamelessly even woman are opting this to satisfy their body needs only whenever necessary, then to long term committments. Because they know definately they are not going to live up to each others expectations.

Ideal marriages picture perfect dreamy marriages don't exist so just understand one thing, even man are having some lacuna so as woman too. No woman is now a days a pativrata naari. In olden days shaking hands with an outsider male was considered ( Paani grahan equal to marriage) now a days woman are shaking hands with people and have to do it also. they are not a great mom as they don't take care of the houses properly, ( hand over work to nannies or grannies or house-maids or cooks) neither they are great wives. I can say they are neither doing completely well in their work place too. Then what is the fun of multi tasking. It would be good if they do one thing perfectly well. Either remain Brahmacharini and do dedicated job and get appraisals in work place or take up duties of house wife and mother fully. Hahhaha... and woman find their ego hurt when they are just limited to being termed " house wives." They are now a days changing it to " HOME MAKERS instead of house wives."

These fights between couple misunderstandings is bound to happen because each one is feeling he or she is greater.

But Those couple who see that greater then him or her is Krishna and consider that we are nothing in front of HIM., then only false ego will stop and these misunderstanding will stop.

Being Krishna centric is best. Being Male centric or Being female centric is not going to work in anyway.

To be frank, these days woman are not even emotional. They are lazy. In olden days who said woman had no work only gossiping. Woman in those days did lot of work. They used to get water from the well nearby or lake, wash clothes by hand, for hot water they used to put logs of wood under a couldren and make hot water for taking bath. ( these days we have geysers) wash utensils by hand, there were no grinders and food processors like today they used to grid the floor to make aata and then made rotis' it was very tough life back then. One person of the family was dedicated in doing outside chores purchasing food stuffs getting money another person at home, getting wood by cutting down trees for cooking food...one person was doing almost similar work at home physcially arranging everything on to the plate from the scratch. who said there was no equallity and woman had no work back then just gossiping. Well I find these days woman are really lazy. just tell amazon alexa switch off the lights or order pizza from uber. What does woman do these days at all?

I don't feel nice to even talk more about that Live- in relationships disgusting even woman are opting these shamelessly. so much selfish, lust craving, egoistic generation this new generation has become.. Men also are like this. None of them are living perfectly. THERE IS NEED TO GO BACK TO OUR ROOTS. IF WE LEAVE THIS LIKE THIS IT WILL TURN INTO MORE UGLINESS in GHOR KALIYUG DAYS.

I have much more higher respects for woman of olden days they were good dedicated wives, good caring mothers and good to all people around. They obeyed inlaws and respected elders. They sacrificed their lives to make a man stand. After God its the mother who has that much sacrifice and selflesssness in her.

today's woman are useless ( being a woman myself) I am saying this. They are good for nothing . Neither phsycially fit to even bear a child. obese, lazy and highly egoistic this generation woman have become because of too much freedom, too much independence and too much luxuaries.

When too much independence is given to anyone they start to feel without them the other cannot exist or without the woman there is no God also.

This goes same with men also. They are also very lazy, obese and egoistic. They started to feel without them woman cannot exist and with them God also cannot exist.

The truth is both are wrong.

Krishna should only be the center neither woman centric nor man centric. these kinds of egos are not worth the time in spirituality. work for higher cause not for short term ego satisfaction goals.

You said above--

"Even among devotee grihastas, how can there be peace and love when suppose man being more practical, focuses on following all rules 'strictly' in Spirituality, whereas a woman is more emotional and handles things more lovingly...."

There can be peace and love when their goal is not selfish satisfaction of egos. When the goal is only pleasing Krishna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT3qe6hak40

Woman was considered in olden days as ‘Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni’.

the six virtues of a good wife. when working she should work like a slave, and while advicing she is like a Mantri (cheif advisor to a King), while in bed she should be like like heveanly celestial apsara, when you look at ther you must be able to bow down looking at her glow of laxmi in her face., she pocessess patience like Earth. She is a good wife.

Here where is non equality shown to woman? Woman are treated with such respect only in Sanathana dharma. Which other religion show so much respect to woman?

You know what is position of Mantri ? Prime Minister is more then a President in value we can see in our Indian govt itself. Prime minster is decision maker and King( President) is just rubber stamp. He just passes the rules and orders. Woman are given such a status of Prime Minister in our Sanathana dharma. It means Woman should know every thing study everything. It is not like woman are treated low. They have their value but only when they are within a boundary. If they behave indepndently they are really useless. A man is considered sucessful because of the woman standing behind him. Look such a status if give to woman in our Sanathana dharma but these feminists out there they don't really understand. They want maybe a woman's planet seperately and a man's planet seperately. I Don't think such woman can make a good family at all. those who are so much egoistic of being a female then better they should make another planet for themselves. Ideally woman and man both should reduce their egos and consider living for higher cause ( pleasing Krishna)

Brain+ beauty= deadly combination for female but not all woman are having both in perfection. some are just beautiful and no brains. some are brainy but not beautiful some are emotional but not having brains.

Just like I said above ideal men don't exist similar goes with Ideal woman also don't exist Esp. in this Kaliyuga.

Ideal man is only Krishna , Ideal woman is only Rukmani mata ji.

Krishna is only perfectionist none other is.

Hare Krishna.
- Radhika > Gayatri May 25, 2021 at 5:48am
  
  And mataji, i have watched this video a lot earlier😊. In my non devotee family but, i have many examples of couples, and they are close family so no chance of being delluded woth external show. I live with them.
  
  So it is matter of experience i guess....also as i mentioned in other comment, i have association of wonderful devotee grihastas, there the prabhuji is so playful and he happens to be my teacher so i know he is strict when required but also understanding and caring to us children when required. Like this many more teachers of mine, all Iskcon devotees and their wives too very wonderful and they help nicely in the academy management.😊
  
  Thank you for your answer and time...🙏
- Radhika > Gayatri May 25, 2021 at 5:41am
  
  Hare Krishna ma'am/mataji,
  
  I humbly say..but you didn't understand my question. Every single thing you have mentioned i myself totally 💯 ( minus hate for the unfortunate ones) agree from start, even before being introduced to ISKCON culture.
  
  I have association of wonderful devotee grihastas, there i see both man and woman are balanced in emotions and logic. As you said, woman is mantri..that only i meant to say..this needs education, but sometimes some devotees preach that girl is only supposed to do housework...well it is detailed query...
  
  I am very grateful for your time and willingness to answer and help me out🙏😊
  - Gayatri > Radhika May 25, 2021 at 8:36am
    
    aah , It seems you are quite experienced and have encountered and seens many families. I am not so clever as you are. whatever I know I wrote. I felt it would be helpful. But ya I get it you are much experienced then I am in these family affairs and woman empowerment things.
    
    I cannot help you as it must be dealt with some ISKCON heads and members who can only guide you well... I am a neophyte devotee mata ji , I have no experience much in family matters. I have been exposed to no Iskcon grihastas or regualr families also much... sorry if I have offended you in at any place pointing the vid. or any any hateful or hurtful comments.
    
    Hare Krishna.
    - Radhika > Gayatri May 25, 2021 at 8:55am
      
      No mataji, please dont feel otherwise, i appreciate your help😊🙏, I am sorry if my comment seemed rude...

This reply was deleted.