Hare Krishna Prabhu ji's and Mata Ji's.
I have one concern, one of my office colleague is suffering physical harassment by her husband, he beats her every day and there is lot he do with her which I cannot express here , her husband is not working at all, she is the only working member in her family.. there is always distress in her family...she is married from the last 12 yrs and have two daughters also. she has done Love marriage with an Schedule Cast person therefore her mom and dad has now closed their door for her for ever. She cries every day in office. I try my best to console her and suggest her to go for divorce, she says i am the only working person, he will not let me go also, he says he will kill me and nobody will know. I still suggest her to live apart As she is working women, an independent women. Please suggest If i m doing something wrong...
And also I promised her to give her Marble deity of lord krishna, but I am now worried to give lord krishna in a home where there is no women respect and always there is distress and lot of sin activities by her husband... please suggest should I not give lord krishna to her as a gift.
Your humble servant
The wife should never leave her husband, no matter how fallen, old or poore he is. Thats Dharma principle.
Those who turning her against her husband are unqualified advisers.
Hare Krishna prabhu
This situation is a reality for many women in our society.
I just read Rashmi matajis reply - I agree totally.
On dealing with the pains and situations of life, Krishna is the only support who we can lean to.
As far as the practical preparation are considered - POLICE AND NGOs who work for women welfare - she has to go to them. I think first of all she should visit the NGO and with their guidance she should proceed how to interact with police. If NGOs are involved, police also handles those cases carefully.
In this materialistic life, the strongest point she has is that she is working. Financially she is not depending on her husband. Think of those women who leave their jobs depending on their husband due to pregnancy or family issues and later on their husbands illtreat them.
Though her family is not supporting her - but she is independent financially. She should take the call to separate out and be a devotee of Krishna.
Hare Krsna Prabhuji,
Sorry I could not see your post earlier and could not reply earlier.
I understand the lady's situation and your empathy for her. See, there are different ways in whihc one can react - 1) Go inform the police, let the police talk with her husband, walk out with daughters and start living independently. The new house where she stays, she has to inform the local police station there also so that she is not harassed by her husband. He will not let her go easily because where he will get someone who will earn, cook for him and tolerate his abuses. Since she has no elder support, she has to take police support. (If your office can help her connect to thr right person in police station, that will be the correct help. You know, going to the police has its own pitfalls). Slowly, she has to build her life away from this man and around her daughters, protecting them also from this abuse.
2) If she is not able to leave him, atleast the rest she should do - go to police and complain and make the police threaten him. Then feed him Krsna prasadam quietly.
3) She can approach some Women's NGO whihc deals in this kind of abuse and take help to deal with the trauma for herself and her children. They will put pressure on police to do something about this guy.
Whatever option she chooses, she and her daughters should chant everyday and follow 4 regulative principles to the extent possible. Whatever comes out of the kitchen should be only Krsna prasadam. They should read Gita everyday - this will give them a lot of strength. If possible, put her in a congregation where she can divert her mind and realise that there is another world whihc is full of happiness.
I hope this post reaches you in time for you to help her.
Radha Rasamayi DD
Thank you Rashmi Mata ji and Krishna Dasi mata ji.
I had shown ur counseling's to her. Thanks for the reply
#1 priority is to avoid offending the Godheads so yes on-immage & no on Merty. #2. Tell her to give Him /her husband something creative & profitable to do, I for example have learned to fashion fashionable rings from coins, it's a quick & simple process of knocking a whole in the center heating it, quenching it, & bending it around a (mandrel) /a tapered metal rod. I work mostly with (brass tokens) that cost me $.25 cent & I wholesale for $25. Each that's a dollar on the pennyl-) plus labor. Plus I also can buy 90% silver coins or 1/2 & 1 oz.
(bullion)-or rounds. I now have Rings in the "Wandsworth oldest museum in amarica & "The Mark Twain House" & several stores not bad some stores get $60-70 Each. Even at my base wholesale price of $12. it's still a valuable simplistic, simplistic at home, spartime, pastime! See YouTuba for exalent-illustrated instructions. For brass tokens see "Tokens Direct Diuse bullion, as Coins are representative of Lokmi gee.. again thank you for your association. All glory to our saviors, the Gurus of the vishnava
Thanks Prabhu ji and Mata ji for the advise, I will convey ur messages to her
i would say its her past karma...like prabhupad ji explained there is only one way out its krsna...
i feel she should start doing something...my very close family member suffered a similar situation all she did she trust krsna and introduce krsna conscious people to his husband.....now see the miracle his husband is now one of the prominent prabhu ji of our city....tell her to make his husband eat mahaprasad daily....aftr thn you will see an incredible change for sure....
My obeisances to all devotees, guru and gauranga.
Respected devotees have answered your query nicely prabhu. The only suggestion i would make is: instead of the statue of Sri Krishna, gift her a photo frame of Sri Radha Krishna. The deities in an idol form should be properly installed through mantras by a qualified brahmin. Although your intention is pure, I would suggest a frame over the idol.
Please dont take any offense.
Chant and be happy.
Srila prabhupada ki jai..
Thats the real example of love marriages in modern time, the result can be just miserable family life.
Without dharma principles and vedic tradition, human society is lost in darkness.
Here in the United States it is indeed a very serious crime to beat and abuse one's wife. In our culture it is frowned upon when it is only MINOR abuse but if she is suffering as much as you say, it is my opinion as well that she should move out immediately and never look back.
This may not be easy but like you said, she is independent; she's strong and she can depend on Lord Krishna, she doesn't have to depend on a man.
Please realize that in the end, she has to make the choice to stay or leave. You can't make that decision.
Don't be afraid to gift her your statue of Krishna. Just like Krishna's names can be chanted anywhere and anytime, without losing their purity, Krishna is not offended or "dirtied" by being exposed to violence or other negative things. Krishna is transcendental to these modes.