I have a question.
How do we know if something is Krsna's arrangement or if it is on us to decide? Whenever something happens to me, I feel that it is a sign from Krsna and I must let it happen. If it is not bound to happen, Krsna will do something to stop it from happening. But then I feel that there are so many options available to me and it is I who must decide what to do. Some events may even be tests given by the Lord.
In a lecture, Radhanath Swami Maharaj told an incident about Raghunath Das Swami, who was the single heir to the king of the world. He had all the fortune one could ever imagine. But he wanted to leave the material world. So he kept running away while the guards of the palace forced him to come back to the palace and rule the kingdom. He tried to run away every time. Radhanath Swamiji said that if we were in Raghunath's postition, we would have thought that it is God's arrangement and that the Lord wants us to rule the kingdom and offer the fortune to Him. But Raghunath didn't think that way, he kept on running and finally succeeded one day, and obtained renunciation.
I completely agree with Radhanath Swamiji that if it would have been me, I would have simply gave up thinking that Lord wants me to complete the duty of ruling the kingdom and I must follow Krsna consciousness while fulfilling my duty.
So I am confused. When should I think that something is being done by Lord or if it is on me to decide?
Hoping that you will shower your mercy upon me and provide me with a solution. Hare Krsna!