frustated with my dad?? what to do..

hare krsna and dandavat to all the dear devotees..

all glories to shrila pravupad..

My dad has been drinking alchol and smoking cigratee for nearly 30 years.its like a lot of time ha had wasted in all these bad habit. few yrs back he had severe bike accident and broke his leg. due to this he left for some years and now for about 3 years he had been doing this bad stuff..

i as well as my parents (mom, brother, and sister) are totally fed up from him.just he earned lot of money at his age but didnt save a single penny at all. now he dont work at all. just borrow money frm frns and drink all the time. now its so crucial that he drinks even at morning. last time he sold camera, then computer and now bike. i dont know what hes upto. we tried all the way to solve it but hes not stoping at all.

i am realy frustated at this moment and cant practise KC as i have thought.i tried to take him to temple but it doesnt work at all. feeding krsna prasad might also not touch him at all. its no use of wasting time and energy on mom says go abroad all this stuff and so on.. i want to change his life like ok not so dedicated and best man on earth but a simple ideal person.

i have tried my best to do so.plz suggest whats better for me (practical and reasonable solution). not to go though scripture like hiranyasakipu and pharald, this is like ksrna xam for u and like that..what can i do for him?? patiently wating ur best reply

ur servent.

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    • Haibol,

      One more thing your father is not providing you

      everything, it is krishna and he knows how to

      protect his dear ones, so dont worry and be KC

      all the time. Some people will be there in our

      life like your father who help us to concentrate more

      on our spiritual life. You are young and there is

      lot to do in future and you never know what does

      future unfold in due time, dont be depressed ,use

      all the available resource and make your life successful.


      Your servant


      • hare krsna,

        thank u prabhu for wonderful message.its sound like pleasing and some resonable.ok as u said i'l try to go on..your servent

        • E-Counselor

          Hare Krishna Prabhu,


          I think you should do two-three things - 1) Always practise KC, never give up whatever sadhana you are doing currently. 2) Give your father offered prasadam each meal. 3) Approach Alchoholics Anonymous. One thing we all miss is - when there is an alchoholic in the family, the entire family suffers. These people are experts in dealing with the patient and the patient party. They will give you tips on how to handle your father materially. 4) Try to become financially independent at the earliest. If you have an elder sibling who is supporting the family financially, then also you should take up a part time job alongwith your studie. If you take responsibility for the family in this situation, then they will also listen to you and take to KC keeping you as an example.


          The most important thing to do is to keep FAITH and continue to CHANT. Krsna is all powerful and we never know in what form and to what extent His mercy can be bestowed on us. Do not ask Krsna for anything, then you are limiting His mercy. Simply chant and ask for the right path.


          Best of luck. Your situation is not easy, but that can be a huge impetus to progress spiritually, if you continue your sadhana in these difficult times.


          Your servant,



  • hare krsna. thanx for the wonderful reply.. but i feel theres something more sublime messaege for me. m just 20 yrs old and i have nt earned money..i cant leave home and do whatever i like specaily in this situation..

    hoping to seek postive reply from u..

    ur servant

    • Hare Krishna prabhuji. I sympathize with your situation greatly as I also grew up in similar circumstances. My dad was very difficult to deal with, especially with so many bad habits and he sometimes made our lives very problematic. When I look back now, I see him as our greatest blessing. Because of our difficulties, we grew closer to God and developed a healthy relationship with Krishna in our spirituality.

      Our situation is also a result of our past karma, so we must have given some folks quite a lot of trouble in our past :) Whenever I encounter difficult situations with people, I always ask Krishna to forgive me for the problems I caused others that have resulted in these circumstances, and I also ask for forgiveness from the people even though in this lifetime I do not know who they are.

      No matter what, your father is your father, and just because he fails in doing your duty does not excuse you from doing yours. Pray to Krishna on his behalf and be the best son you can be.

      It is by no means an easy thing to go through, but keep praying and developing your faith in Krishna. One day you will see this as your greatest blessing.

      I wish you all the best prabhuji and Krishna's mercy. 

  • Hello

    hari bol

    have patience , be in KC each second of you life . and most important have faith .

    if possible read story of Prahlad and Harinya Kashyupu. you will feel good and motivated.

    in this 6 billion souls on this earth krishna has given full rights over only one soul which is yours.

    you can change souls near you with your bhakti and kc but too some extent. but it does not gurantee that it will change person completely .

    so have faith have patience and most important dont be angry . talk to your dad . listen to him properly and ask what is it he actually want from life . and leave rest on Supreme Lord Krishna

    Hari bol

    just servent


  • Volunteer

    In my opinion Prabhu, there is a a limited extent to which one can do something, and seeing as your father has wasted any effort to support the family and it is now disturbing your KC, I think you should move on. 

    You can try one last time by showing your father the repercussions of excessive drinking and smoking. If he doesn't heed this, leave him and move somewhere else (with your family). You should always try to keep away from those who take part in ill-practices such as intoxication. 

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