frustated with my dad?? what to do..

hare krsna and dandavat to all the dear devotees..

all glories to shrila pravupad..

My dad has been drinking alchol and smoking cigratee for nearly 30 years.its like a lot of time ha had wasted in all these bad habit. few yrs back he had severe bike accident and broke his leg. due to this he left for some years and now for about 3 years he had been doing this bad stuff..

i as well as my parents (mom, brother, and sister) are totally fed up from him.just he earned lot of money at his age but didnt save a single penny at all. now he dont work at all. just borrow money frm frns and drink all the time. now its so crucial that he drinks even at morning. last time he sold camera, then computer and now bike. i dont know what hes upto. we tried all the way to solve it but hes not stoping at all.

i am realy frustated at this moment and cant practise KC as i have thought.i tried to take him to temple but it doesnt work at all. feeding krsna prasad might also not touch him at all. its no use of wasting time and energy on mom says go abroad all this stuff and so on.. i want to change his life like ok not so dedicated and best man on earth but a simple ideal person.

i have tried my best to do so.plz suggest whats better for me (practical and reasonable solution). not to go though scripture like hiranyasakipu and pharald, this is like ksrna xam for u and like that..what can i do for him?? patiently wating ur best reply

ur servent.

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  • De0khiye balak jjis par shree krishna ki kripa nahin hoyti vo is hi prakaar vyavhar krta hai ye to gita bhi kehti hai ki aapke pitMaha jaise logon ko shri krishna sudharne ke kayi avsar dete hain lekin ve shri krishna k i maya se itne mohit ho jaate haon ki ve bhagvadvimukh ho jate hain isliye unheeun hi ke haal par chod dein or shri krishna se unki sadbuddhi ki prarthana karein
  • It is one of the many sad stories which many many people in this world are is definitely not the isolated incident, Dear abhijeet..Even my story is somewhat like ur story, but in my case, my father got severely addicted to share trading in share market, which resulted in huge losses of properties and turmoil in the family..and i cud not do anything to stop it..but one thing helped me to restore my balance and integrity is only kc and the glorious hare krishna mahamantra..Fact is its very very difficult to change one's destiny, which is all due to past karmic deeds in the past and previous have patience, dont worry much and sincerely pray to god and chant his holy name and listen to krishna katha's or stories which will surely liberate u from all the worldly worries and extreme difficulties..

  • Hare Krishna,

    Please do not leave your father. Perhaps what he needs is support and respect. Sometimes hgh expectations from a person make him go the wrong way. It is natural, if you keep saying please quit this that, do this that, he will do it all the more. Thats ego. Therefore do not say anything since you already have. I believe if you respect him for the way he is, he will realise. If he doesnt realise, its better than leaving him.  This is also a test towards your path to God consciousness. This arrangement is made by God himself and there must be a reason. Do not waste your time and energy in resolving something you are not able to. Leave it to God. Everyone has their individuality and so does your father. If he has not chosen the path of God consiousness why impose it on him. We cannot force people to do their duty, however if we are true to beng God conscious the least we must ensure is we do our duty first and here the duty is of a son. 
    Just like Lord Shri Ram did his duty however his family relatives treated him. I do hope it helps. 


    It is easy to provide counsel but very difficult to follow. Only a person in the situation knows what he is going through, like yourself. Just sacrifice your demands/expectations and throw away worry. 

  • Beloved Prahuji, PAMHO, AGTSP

    My heart breaks for you, you are beautiful kind hearted soul who truly wants God,

    this is a heavy cross and the only reason im replying is that i have had to deal

    with many family situations over the years and i have never found anything

    so powerful as prayer. Every time i asked the Lord for help, He has answered me

    in HIs own way and His own time, prayer has give me the strength to go through

    extremely difficult situations and while not changing the situation alot of the time, prayer

    has changed me. Also i belong to many prayer circles and have groups of devoted

    prayer warriors who i can go to to ask for help. If groups of devoted people pray

    for your situation, you will see change very quickly, i will certainly pray for you and your

    father,God bless you all

    your servant maharani dd

  • Volunteer

    Your father need Your unconditional mercy Prabhu. No matter what bad he is doing or did to You You have to follow Lord Chaitanya and be unconditionally forgiving and merciful.

    Your servant, 

  • Volunteer

    I take back my answer Prabhu. Krishna is very merciful, so have faith in him. 

    Anyway - to boost your confidence in Krishna, please enjoy the following video (which inspired me to change my views)

    Thank you Maral Mataji for sharing and opening my eyes :)

    • Volunteer

      our parents are those who gave us this human body and took care of it when we were helpless. 

      So we have to feel gratitude to them eternally because in human body only we can chant the Holy Names of Krishna and try to understand Him.

      My father did for me so much when i was a child:

      -he used to inspire me to read books;

      -to do sports for my health;

      -speak kind words and support me mentally;

      -help me in my school subjects which now i can use in some tiny preaching service;

      -he used to give to the best English teacher so that i learn English;

      -he used to inspire me to wake up early in the mornings, use my time properly...

      so much he did. He never drank or smoke when they wanted to beget us as their children.

      So we became healthy.

      So i am indebted to my dad and mom. Because i do not have anything material to pay them back i try to give them something spiritual or true share with them what i got by the mercy of Devotees and Srila Prabhupada.


      Person starts to drink because of unhappiness. But when one starts to chant he will become happy and easily give up lower sources of happiness.

      Your servant, 

  • Rashmi Said it best. Continue with your studies and devotion. You personally can not save anyone, that comes solely from within. Alchoholics Anonymous has the best spiritual solution for where your father is at. You can not tell him to go or tell him to do anything. But if you place it as a suggestion, it might form a seed that will build.

  • We have no right to get frustrated with our parents.FYI ur not Prahlad Maharaja. And even Prahlad Maharaja was never frustrated with Hiranyakashipu. Rather than being frustrated about ur father, get frustrated on your devotion for Krishna. If ur prayers are that much of strong your father would have been a changed man.

    Also please understand that our parents are our first spiritual guru.

    Hari Bola

  • Hari bol,

    Even my father is like that, but by krishnas mercy iam earning good and

    saving money for myself. Give him prasadam, remember he will not live

    forever,  give him offered food every time. People like your and mine father

    are selfish people who live for themselves and dont care family. Our family

    and friend is krishna, if gave you father like that then one day he will give

    you better life that you havent expected, it happend to me. You will have

    no words at that time even to appreciate krishnas blessing. Believe concentrate

    on your bhakti and to some extent on karmic career. All the best prabhu.

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