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Feel guilty, need advice


I got into a fist fight today and I am feeling very ashamed of myself. I have gotten into fights before because of self defense reasons and that does not bother me but this was not that. This fight was almost entirely because of false ego and false pride and I feel like I should have been mature enough to keep my emotions in check. I don't like that I lost control like that to the point of violence and I am very ashamed. I need to be able to trust myself to behave like a man and devotee of God. I could really use some input.

Thank you all,

Hare Krsna

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  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


    I appreciate your honesty, introspection and desire to rise above the petty for the higher purpose of spiritual growth.

    The text which comes to mind is BG 2.14 - matra sparsastu kaunteya..... please memorise the shloka and its meaning. Remember it in times of extreme happiness and distress. It is talking about how happiness and distress happen to us like changing seasons. Therefore, tolerate, O scion of the Bharat dynasty. THe shloka begins with Kaunteya and ends with Bharat. The very fact that Arjuna has been addressed twice in the same shloka by name, that too in a shloka related to tolerance, signifies that the importance of Arjuna - from both sides of the family. Kaunteya from his mother's side and Bharata from his father's side, puts on him the responsibility to behave in a manner that people will look upto him. The same thing applies to us. We are sadhakas on the path of devotion. Therefore, it is our responsibility to behave in a manner that will make others devotees, rather than give others a bad impression - Krsna devotees get into fist fights. 

    The most difficult thing to do right now, but the most effective to do, is to walk upto the person you had fist fight with and apologise unconditionally. This will beat your ego so much that next time you will control yourself. Not forcing you, just suggesting. 


    Your servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

  • "

    The second tool is humility. In this age people view humility as a sign of weakness, but the reality is that humility is a powerful weapon. Society considers humility as the position of the conquered towards the conqueror instead of seeing it as a position of power. We must rediscover the pure strength of humility.

    The Bible says the pure in heart shall see God, and the meek shall inherit the earth. This is the opposite of society’s opinion; society views a meek person as someone who gets abused, exploited and denied because they do not push their case. We must realize the Bible emphasizes that the meek shall be victorious. It does not say the foolish or the naive, but the meek. In meekness or humility there is strength, focus and some idea of a mission or purpose. We pursue that mission or purpose with determination—without ego, without distraction, without any obfuscation.

    Too many things in the environment will distract a person when there is excessive ego. Something in the environment will cause a state of imbalance and the person will feel they have to act to rectify the situation. So much of a person’s energy is drained in this way. A lack of humility inevitably causes undue or excessive responses to situations around you. These are easy things to talk about, but it can be difficult to change because in this age we are conditioned to respond quickly to whatever someone says or does. Take a moment to reflect back on your past week. How many times did you overreact to a situation, or put yourself in a conflict that brought you down to the other person’s level, or allowed someone to involve you in a situation that you did not want to be a part of? We often get wrapped up in a situation only to realize later that we wasted so much valuable time.

    The spiritual warrior never overreacts to fame, success or position, for while dealing with the many he does not overlook the one. He or she is always concerned about each person’s highest welfare. Humility means knowing there is so much we do not know, so much we still need to learn. Humility means knowing there is a higher part of ourselves, and being eager to awaken that part. Humility means knowing that we are servants of the Supreme, children of God. Unless we become like the child who is lost and confused and calling out to their father, knowing everything will be fine when daddy appears, we cannot enter into the Kingdom of God. Children are dependent on the fact that their parents are in control of their well-being; this is humility. Humility means recognizing who is doing the controlling and being dependent on that actual controller. As individuals we must move aside, let the Lord drive and become as dependent as that child crying for mommy and daddy. Deliberate and voluntary surrender to the Lord requires great trust, and the next tool helps 

    and the next tool helps bring about this surrender.

    Bhakti Tirtha Swami. Spiritual Warrior III: Solace for the Heart in Difficult Times (Kindle Location 3118). Hari-Nama Press. Kindle Edition.

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