Hare Krishna to all devotees. The issue i am discussing today is very personal and one of the most troublesome in my life and i would be more than grateful if His sincere devotees enlighen me.

Firstly i would like you to get an insight of my family. So i am currently a student in my second year pursuing B.Tech and hopeful to graduate by 2024. My Father is in goverment service and is retiring this year. I have a younger sister who is appearing in class 12 this year and my mother is a housewife. I am the only practitioner of Krishna consciousness in my family and has been doing so since last 3 years. Ever since my childhood i have always lived a very stessful and troublesome life because my father is a drunkard and more than that he seems to have generated a metal disorder. I think he volunarily chooses to create disorder after drinking because he behaves very decent in a undrunken state and one cannot even sense that he does things like madman after drinking. He does a lot of verbal abuse to my mother and my sister and treats them like nothing always quarraling with them somehow or other and this this the story of literally every other day. Due to this we feel so much mental pressure and stress that it is undescribeable and tears flow down my eyes whenever i even tend to describe it. It's like a mental torture cell. I sometimes think that now is the time to file a divorce against him and get separated from him for good. Then again my mother says that we have beared this tortue for so long and so just a little more until i graduate and start earning and uptil then my sister would also complete her class 12. Now the thing is that as i told that my father is retiring this year and i am fearful that thigs might just turn very bad as then i would be away from home in college and my sister and mother would suffer much more. Now as i am a practitioner of Krishna consciousness i tend to award every situation as the mercy of krishna for him being the cause (sarva karana karanam) and when my father is creating havoc in the house i just lean beside a wall and just chant and chant. But unfortunately this doesn't hold for my mother and sister and i have to just see them suffering without no end and it isn't like that i haven't tried to persuade them to adopt krishna consciousness but they are situated in the modeof ignorance that my words seem nothing more than words of passifying. And even i sometimes when my dam of tolerance overflows i rush at anger at my father as if i could even murder him if not checked and i am unable to feel Lord's presence in such times and curse myself for the deeds i may have done to have recieve such a punishment and sometimes even doubt the very existence of Lord krishna although i come to my senses as my temper drops. So this has been the sory of my life. Now as i want to completely devote my life to krishna in the upcoming phases of my life after taking sanyasa i just see no end to my family trouble beacuse without ensuring a normal life to my mother and sister i would continue to look back at my previous life  even after taking sanyasa. Please guide as to how leave everything to lord who is the ultimate plan maker and what should be my course of life .

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  • Hare Krishna Pr ... chanting is good but Lord tells Arjun to fight in Gita, not only chant .. we have to think of all possible solutions ... explain to your dad how this fear may affect your studies/college ..... drinking etc.. is done by people because they think it will make them happy .. ultimately they want to be happy ... they just have to be convinced to get happiness the right way ... for eg., regular breathing exercises like Sudarshan Kriya of Art of Living has given many people happiness and made them leave their bad habits ... also there are other rehabilitation programs .. just search for them and keep making efforts .... you have to keep trying one thing after another ... also please keep sharing your progress here

    • Thank you prabuji for suggesting these useful ideas. I have already tried to mould my father in many ways possible whether it be trying to instill a sense of duty towards family or to adopt rehab techniques but all have gone in vain. I have tried him to adopt KC as well not to gain my personal peace but to deliver him and unlike how others may percieve he is actually very happy for me being in KC and to my astonishment occasionally chants the name of radha krishna. Like i said he is not all bad and actually cares for his family but don't know why keep repeating the mistakes over and over again. I presume that it is some sort of previous life karma that is chaining him heaily so i just pray to the lord to have mercy on him and engage him in his service and the only ideal thing i can do for myself is to chant the Lord's name with love and without any want of material happiness but that sense sometimes gets mitigated and that's why i asked the question. So that is my purpose of chanting in times of trouble also because enless conversations would only wate my time in which i could have taken Lord's name. And just a slight correction to your answer...Lord Krishna did told arjuna to fight i.e to perform his karma being a kshatriya on a battlefield but only after continuously remembering him and in this way he will escape the reactions of such karma for those karmas will be submitted unto the lotus feet of the Lord and would be done for his pleasure. In a similar way i currently being a student focus on my studies so that i can earn and spend in KC activities which gives pleasure to Krishna and in the same way whenever i try to persuade my father to give up his sinful activities it is only for the pleasure of krishna for His Devine grace loves the devotees who instill KC in others that's why Srila prahupada is krishna preshthaye bhutale or the dearest one of the Lord on this earth.
      Once again thank you for your suggestions. Sudarshan kriya i'll check upon it for sure.
      Hare Krishna. Nitai-Gaur Haribol. Jaya Jaya Srila Prabhupada.

      • Hare Krishna pr PAMHO dandavat pranaam _/|\_ 

        Just wanted to ask how are you doing :)  .. how are things


        • Hare Krishna prabhuji..... it's so kind of you to ask me of my well being when people don't seem to care more about other's troubles 😊. I am much more clear and firmly established in KC from before and realized that there will be no end to my troubles unless I take the shelter of the immortal instructions of jagadguru Srila Prabhupada. I changed the motto of my life that I would have to concentrate more on serving lord rather than concentrating on these endless troubles we have to suffer due to our previous and present karmic reactions. I understood the fact that No one can trouble me if I don't want to get troubled and such is the factual position of a devotee because a devotee must always remain undeterred in case of sorrow and happiness that is the qualification krishna recommends every devotee to achieve in his instructions in BG. The situation with my father hasn't improved but the thing that is different from before is that rather than cursing my father for creating everlasting troubles in my life I see him as a medium provided by lord to nullify my sinful reactions and pray to lord that please pardon my father because he is helping your devotee to reduce his sinful reactions by lord's will only and he should not receive any bad karma from this. I have also managed to check my anger by adopting discretion through congnition. I have stopped worrying for my sister and mother not out of ignorance but with knowledge that i am powerless to change situations on my own ...everything that happens, happens by the supreme will of the lord and hence no one can scratch you if you are fully surrendered to the lord. KC is the only solution to all the problems and all other efforts are futile in this kali-age. I have also been sucessfull to bring my mother and sister to KC to some extent. At least forcibly making them do 4 rounds of mahamantra daily even if it feels distasteful but with faith. Conclusively i can say that earlier i was standing in the storm without any shelter over my head but now i am under the protection of girivar dhari shri shyam-sundar. All troubles feel like a dream(which they actually are as we are living under delusion of maya and our true nature is eternally blissfull) and i am just waiting for this dream to end and finally confront radha-krishna and finally be able to serve them lovingly up close.  

          Jai Jai Srila Prabhupada
          Jai Jai Gaur Nitai
          Hare Krishna🙏

  • Hare Krishna Chetan Prabhu ji,

    Every problem in our life is a stepping stone or an oppurtunity to grow spiritually stronger and make us more humble. So try to see this all problems which you are facing are actually making you more spiritually inclined. If your life was perfect and bed of roses would you even think about Krishna for even a minute? would you? so in one way Lord is making you weak at one end and at other end He is holding you hand and pulling towards HIM.  Try to see positivity in everything.

    And yes.. He is savra Karna Karanam. That is why He is cause of all causes. Every situation in our lives comes to us out of some previous karma what we did.  When we are facing the results of the karma done by us some time back ..  ** we say oh why this troubles only for me?:-) infact. you were the only one who sow the seed at first. Now Krishna is giving you this oppurtunity also to Hold HIS feet and seek forgiveness for all the bad deeds done and Lord is most merciful. He will surely find a way out of all the troubles.

    I will tell you a story now to make you understand this fact more clearly--

    One day a brahmin and a shudra were going out. They met a fortune teller on  the road. The fortune teller said Oh brahmina i see on your forehead your fate shows that you are going to be met with a big accident and you may even die. The same fortune teller predicted the fate of the shudra also and said.. Oh shudra you are going to get a big fortune today.  Now both brahmin and shudra started off on their work ... Brahmina feeling fearful of the prediction was most cautious and continuously chanting Lord Sri Hari's name..While the Shudra was so happy with the prediction that he was going to make a big forturne he was planning how to spend the money, how to invest... what to buy.. etc etc in his mind.

    Now what happened was totally different. Brahmina chanting the name of Hari walking on the road stumbled upon a stone and his feet began to bleed. The shudra who was enjoying in his mind so many plans about money..found a bag lying on the road he lifted the bag and saw it contained lots of money. He was happy upon receiving sudden unexpected amont of cash, gold. in the bag...was overwehlmed just than police came there and took the bag off from his hands and arrested him for stealing. even when he tried to defend himselves he was put in jail. 

    What happened in the both the cases? One was totally dependent on God.. and Karma for which he had to suffer that day a mishap suddenly was averted By Lord to a small wound caused by a stone. He could have died that day as predicted by the fortune teller. But Lord's name protected him and averted that big mishap though he had suffering ( small bleeding wound) but bigger problem( loss of life)  is averted.

    On the other hand the shudra who got the bag of forturne as per predicted but could he enjoy it? Nah.. He got money but money brough him even more sadness and misery.

    What looks like pain is actually a boon in disguise if you have Lord's holy name with you.

    What looks like all good all nice could be a misery if you have no God's name with you.

    You are thinking your life is like this because of your father. See if your father was all good, everything else was all peaceful in life would you be even thinking about Krishna? This is by Krishna's arranagement that this is happening. You are bound to suffer the karma fala but Krishna is merciful to you that He gave you His name on your lips to be with you during hard times. how fortunate are you tell me.

    There are so many people out there who are suffering like you and how many are chanting when they are in trouble.? When in trouble the want to escape/run away or find some short cut route to make their lives happy but how many of them resort to Holy name and take shelter of Holy name? Isn't it Krishna's mercy that you are taking shelter of Holy name.

    As per karma there is suffering in your life. If you run away from this form of suffering also you will suffer in some other form somehow. That is bound to happen. ( As whatever you sow you shall reap). But Krishna is merciful on you .. He said okay my boy you get a concession I am providing you my divine name on your lips to cross over this bad period of time. Take shelter of my name. I am there to protect you and make this bad period to pass off without causing much pain. ( It could have caused more damage) but Lord's name is averting that and making the suffering little bit bearable. ISSE Bhi zyada problems aasakte the!!!!!!! 

    So, forget everything just focus on the Lord's protective name. Lord is taking care of you. You are sheilded by Lord's holy name have faith. Let the bad phase pass!!!

    Hare Krishna.

    • hope you have understood?

      • Thank you gayatri mataji for these soothing words of wisdom. I always wait for your answer whenever i make a query and you are as helpful as you are. Took a little time this time though😅. I surely understood your message and it gave me the enthusiasm and faith i was lacking in taking Lord's Holy name in times of trouble. And i am of the same view that these times of trouble have always strengthened my devotion and that it is the test of my Bhakti that how much firmly i am grabbing the rope of Krishna's name when there is a storm in my life and it is to prepare me for the final test before my death that i do not let go of this rope until my last breadth. I understand that i need to be more tolerant in facing these situations which would eventually disappear today or tommorow and firmly hold the holy name of the Lord which is the only permanent companion of every living entity.

        Jaya Jaya Srila Prabhupada.🌸
        Hare Krishna 🙏

        • Well, I wrote the reply on April 1, you were not reading it, so I wrote : hope you have understood.

          If God gives us pain He also gives energy or shakti to tackle the pain that is natual. So in this way Krishna is with you even when you are facing toughest challenges of life. But it could have been more worse the holy name of God is helping you in a way to counteract more negative effects of karma fala. keep continuing japa.

          hare krishna

          • Thank you mataji. I myself had missed the update regarding your answer 😅. Thank you to again ask me whether I understood it or not otherwise I might have missed your valuable answer as I rely on the gmail notification for any updates. I might have mistakenly cleared the notification from the taskbar. In future I will manually check the updates. My KC question bank is huge. Would keep troubling his sincere devotees for the answers.

            Thank you once again.

            Nitai gaur haribol 🙏. Hare Krishna 🙏

  • Your father obviously needs help with his drinking.  Is he open to discussion in his sober moments?  Is your mother, or some good friends, willing to help?  If your mother is not willing to help, then nothing will probably be done. Family is nice to have, but there are times to walk away.  Like, after graduation. I moved out at 16 because I felt that was better than killing my father.  20 years later he got the help he needed, and we became friends.  All things considered (and over 40 years later) I stand by that decision. 

    Other than the familial problems, I do see a spiritual issue as well (if I am reading this correctly).  You are not yet out of school but are talking about taking sanyasi.  I mean no offense with this question but are you advanced enough to take sanyasi - or are you looking to use sanyasi as an escape from family problems?  It is not a vow to be taken lightly.  

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