Family Advice

Hare Krsna,


I have a sister who I do not get along with. I don't think she is a good person but she has a beautiful daughter who I love. Her boyfriend and I don't like each other very much either and have come close to violence on multiple occasions. I have been trying hard lately to put my anger in check and not let it get the best of me which usually involves me keeping my mouth shut altogether in certain situations because if I get going I am not certain that I will be able to stay in control. Her daughter is 5 years old and I believe it is disrespectful to use curse words or filthy language around her and everyone knows my feelings. I think my sister's boyfriend feels insecure around me because on the occasions where we almost had altercations it was he who backed down. The reason I bring this up is now they have taken to passive aggressive means to anger me but not escalate the situation to a direct conflict such as using disrespectful language in front of my niece but outwardly acting as if nothing is wrong. I ask your advice if you think I should say something or if I should just leave it alone because as much as I love her she is not my daughter and ultimately I am not the one who will be raising her. I am worried if I do say something and they are disrespectful I will not be able to keep my anger in check. It is a big weakness of mine and I am working on mastering my emotions but I am not there yet. Thank you for listening and all the help I have received on this forum. It means a lot.

PS. I want to start taking chanting more seriously so any advice you have on gradually improving my number of rounds chanted would also be very much appreciated.

Hare Krsna

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  • E-Counselor

    Hare Krsna Prabhuji,


    Just improve your sadhana and leave everything to KRsna.

    Do not interfere in your sister's life. YOu can meet her separately and tell her that you do not approve of her boyfriend, with proper data - reasons why you don't approve. Be as objective and calm as possible.

    You can give your inputs on how the daughter needs to be brought up.

    Then back out. Step back and see if any of your advise is being adhered to. If not, move on. She has a right to live her life her way, make mistakes and learn from them. Your role can be only so much as to guide her and provide support whenever she needs.

    Regarding increasing your sadhana, this is indeed a very good thought. You must associate with devotees, online if not physically. Make it a point that you will increase your committed rounds every ekadasi by 2. Suppose you are chanting 4 rounds now. Next ekadasi, on Saturday 2nd March, you will increase by 2, that is total committed rounds 6. Maybe you could increase every alternate ekadasi. It would help if you woke up early morning to chant. You could gradually work on it and wake up early.

    Eat only Krsna prasadam/ atleast veg food without onion garlic. Read daily - start with small books of Srila Prabhupada and Bhagavad Gita daily.

    Best of luck prabhuji.


    Your servant,

    Radha Rasamayi DD

    • Thank you for your advice. I know it is foolish but I constantly find myself attempting to control and fix everything by myself even though I know it is not within my power or knowledge to do so. I find it hard to accept the state things are in and trust everything to Krsna.

      Also I will try your way to gradually improve rounds.

      Hare Krsna

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