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Hare krishna devotees 

I sometimes ponder over my life and find that in front of the world I am a very cheerful person I am always joking and laughing but in the alone I am always filled with sadness, guilt ,depression and loneliness I feel doublefaced .

In front of people I behaves like a saint angerless very patient very adjusting respecting and calm but in my home with my family I am always shouting and filled with anger I get irritated if someone does anything that is not of my choice I don't cooperate with anything, I roam in the world agitated many times I disrespect my mother and father I also took  relation managing classes of iskon but it didn't work I think it is not  a good behaviour as  a devotee . Please help me with both

Hare krsna