Detachment from family life

How do we detach from family bonds? This is a very difficult thing to do, but I know it's necessary for me. As much as I have love and affection for my family, they cause me great distress and are obstacles on my path.

What is the most gentle and compassionate process?

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  • Volunteer

    my humble obeisances Rahul Prabhuji,

    i do not deserve Your appreciation, it is out of Your compassion...

    -------

    No, wife always remains at home under the protection of a son nothing else. It is the most comfortable place for her to practice Krishna Consciousness and do not worry about dangers. 

    And also usually women are not attached much to home. Mostly man are attached to it. So because of that they have to leave it when it is time. Usually girls already left their parents, home relatives when they got married. and that is their renunciation. 

    But these days for aged Lady Devotees it might difficult because their kids are not Devotee so they join the Temple ashram. It is extreme situation. But in ideal society women should be at home, their homes should be a Temple, and sons should be a nice responsible Devotees.

    It is ideal position.

    By birth we are shudra it is true but Srila Prabhupada created our auspicious karma and gave that medicine using which one can be elevated even above the brahmana. 

    ---

    This perfect Temple sadhana which consists of waking up in brahma muhurta, chanting, reading, honoring Prasadam...all these can be done regularly by a person with brahmanical qualities. SO we can check ourselves.

    Again, no need for everyone to take sannyasa. We should be sincere and act according to our capacity. For example, again i bring example of one Guru Maharaja in ISKCON who is an initiating Guru.

    He is disciple HH Jayapataka Swami Maharaja HG Chaitanya Chandra Charan Prabhu. His Maharaja told him to take sannyasa but he refused told that at this time he can not so Maharaja did not force him. He stays with his wife at home which is vanaprastha ashram. He stays with his wife because his wife is so supportive so intelligent so chaste that she helps him always in any thing he needs help and support.

    So if one has such like wife than why not to cooperate together and please Krishna till death?

    Also for example, this web site and all other web sites under this web site is supported financially and created by one Devotee couples HG Vaishnava Seva Prabhu and his wife. They both work as doctors. Husband is a surgeon wife is anesthesiologist they work from morning till late evenings and after that job Prabhuji does his service on web sites. They voluntarily did not have children and use their full time in the service of Guru and Krishna. And their work place is Bhaktivedanta Hospital which i nothing but a Temple. Hospital not only for body but for the soul also.

    ...

    So in this way they are also living life of a sannyasi or even more. Because despite doing all these they remain in backside not known to anyone. Such humility.

    Your servant, 

  • Dear Madhumangala Mataji. Family life is full of  misery due to Krishna's grace to help you surrender. That does not mean you detach from your family. Make every one KC. I know a mataji who married a drunkard, and chain smoker who never took food without onion garlick. The same mataji prayed for Krishna's mercy. Even knowing that she is committing sins she started offering onion garlick food to Krishna with this prayer that someday her husband will become KC and fall in line. Time passed and now he quit drinking, onion, garlick etc.

    Have faith on Krishna. Pray for devotion in family. I guarantee you in one year you will have a good company of ur family member worshiping Krishna. Chant lord Narsimha mantra.

    Hari Bola.

  • Dear Rahul Prabhu,

    Excellent answers provided by you with proof from Bhagwad Gita. Thats what I wanted to say....we should not start copying Srila Prabhupada. He was choosen by Krishna for the benefit of mankind.

    Its better to make your home as temple rather than staying away from prescribed duty. As I know the power of KC is so strong that even the most sinful person can become devotees. So whats the problem in making every one KC. Success starts from family.

    If we think about Srila Prabhupada, then we should remember that he was chosen by lord Krishna himself. 

    Hari Bola.

    Ys

    • Volunteer

      Hare Krishna dear Devotees,

      after 50 years means after all children are grown up and able to take care of themselves. Nearly when they are 20-25 years. And after daughters are married then parents can enter into vanaprastha ashram. 

      It does not mean that they go to the forest. No they can stay at home maybe in separate home from children and leave their material duties for earning money and engage themselves with full time devotional services. And as a lively hood they may keep cows, or work little bit on land, or do yagyas and get charity, or teach...in this way they should be satisfied with what is coming easily by the mercy of Krishna.

      Now in the stage of vanaprastha they do not try to eat opulently, wear opulently ... and enter into family affairs. 

      The main goal of vanaprastha life is to get ready for full renunciation. Then when they are ready for full renunciation then husband can join Temple life and reside with brahmacharis and sannyasis or even accept sannyasa and wife stays back at home and continues her austerity. 

      As like example, Shrimati Vishnu priya. When her husband took sannyasa even though she was young she also started to live very austere. Eating few grains a day, once in a day, chanting for whole day, as we see she did not do much work at home because she had a servant Ishan das. 

      ....

      Srila Prabhupada, Bhaktivinod Thakur and other such like acharyas just showed us example of how to live. They showed how to live as a brahmachari, then as a grihastha then as a vanaprastha then as a sannyasi. So why we are telling that they were great they could do that. There is no word that they are great because of that they became an example to follow.

      -------------------

      It is true not everyone will be able to accept sannyasa. It says that brahmana should accept sannyasa when there a suitable time, kshatriya and vaisha can stay at vanaprastha ashram till they leave their bodies. But shudra always should remain in family life.

      Your servant, 

  • What a stupid thought. KaliYuga does not permit you to detach from ur family just because they are causing distress. Anywhere Srila Prabhupada mentioned run away from ur family for KC. Strange. They need u. Why dont u make them KC. The power of KC is so strong it makes every one near you follow ur footstep. If its not happen ing then problem is with u. Ur KC is not so strong that ur family could accept them.

    Being an Escapist is bad.

    Hare Krishna.

    • Volunteer

      Hare Krishna Pratap Prabhu. Dandavat Pranam. All glories to Srila Prabhupada

      // Anywhere Srila Prabhupada mentioned run away from ur family for KC. Strange

      Dear Pratap Prabhuji. If we take Srila Prabhupada's comment out of context then it may look strange but it means we are using it to justify our own reason. If we can't understand Srila Prabhupada's mood in his writting then our reading is useless. Srila Prabhupada always strongly advocated the need of Varna and Ashram system and encouraged his Grihasta devotees to be responsible in family life. But as you mentioned Srila Prabhupada's comment in ur post, here Srila Prabhupada wanted to say that how Duty to Krishna is greater than duty to so called family life. Maintaining family is Dharma of course but on bodily platform, but if family bondage causing obstruction in serving Krishna, what is the use of serving that family ? Just like in common sense it is immoral for Arjuna to kill his relatives , but for the sake of Krishna He even killed his family members.

      So serving Krishna is highest Dharma. If we not able to serve Krishna in the family then what is the use of being with the family. See one does family for sense enjoyment there is no doubt in it. Doing family is good than being a woman or man hunter. But one can abandon family also to serve Krishna, and that is approved by Shastra , but it also has given time like after 50 yrs of age one should leave family, that is what Srila Prabhupada meant here.

      And regarding Escapism, it is true that when we take some responsibility we should not escape. But if we excuse it in the name of enjoying senses within the purview called family , it is also ignorance. Escape from non permenant materialactivity is not escapism rather intelligence. Wise dosen't engage themselves in non permanent things of this world .

      Hope you have understand

      your aspiring servant

      Hari Bol

      • Volunteer

        how correctly You told Sudipta Roy Prabhu! For the sake of serving to Krishna one has renounce his family.

        And what is the use of serving a family if the members want only sense gratification no matter how much they hear about Krishna. 

        ---

        Why Srila Prabhupada let brahmacharini ashrams in western countries? Because parents were so impersonal and cruel that they did not care of their children. So Srila Prabhupada let even girls leave their families and join Temple life. 

        Also he even told to get separated to one mataji with his husband because Prabhupada told that i won't you allow to use my daughter for sense gratification. 

        So service to Krishna is the top most thing.

        Oh what is the use of family life if members are like animals and always commit sins??????????? But Vaishnav leaves family not the sake of newer material enjoyments  but for being engaged with full devotion to Krishna. Not for any other reason. Not for remarrying...

        Your servant,  

      • Hare Krishna Prabhuji. I did not put the strange word with Srila Prabhupada's words. But no where he said to leave ur family and renounce. Heard a lot of his audio lectures and he said in this yuga practice for perfection in your family despite facing obstacles in family life. He never said run away and be an escapist and go to a cave.

        Many times in his lecture he mentioned obstacles will be there in family life. But people who try to be Srila Prabhupada go to extreme and do things which should not have been done.

        Hari Bola

        • Volunteer

          Hare Krishna Pratap Prabhuji. Dandavat Pranam. All glories to Srila Prabhupada

          Vanprastha and Sannayasa Ashrama are approved ashrama of Vedas. One should not stay with his family after 50 years . Its not escapism, It is the injunction of Vedas. Obstacles will surely be there in family but after one's duty is finished as Grihastha, He must leave family and engage himself in fulltime service of Krishna. People don't leave even after 50-60 years because they become more dependent for their personal care ratther than Krishna's care, and it is not bhakti rather sense gratification.

          Your aspiring servant

          Hari Bol

  • Volunteer

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    http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...

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