Hare Krishna,
I am sad, feeling down since few days. Since my school days I was an average student in academics though I posessed good intelligence levels.I could not score well in my exams co of what one say my destiny.I took up Arts instead of Science against pressure from my relatives. Later went on to pursue graduation in Political Science and later Masters in Communication &Journalism.Still I was a below average student. I feel the guilt till coz I have not achieved anything successfully.
While pursuing my Masters,my Uncle encouraged me take Banking as it was a stable job for women.I entered that field but found out that we have take unethical practices to survive there.The people there pressurized me to follow unethical practices. But I did not budge. After that I thought of returning to my field of interest, Journalism. I worked for 6 months in a content writing Company.I was starting to enjoy. By this time my Marriage got fixed.I was 24 then and working in Pune. Now I had to shift to Singapore. My husband is 7 years older than me.He is well settled in his job. I shifted to Singapore, only to find out there are no suitable jobs for my profession and also it was not legal for me to work here. My husband initially emphasised on me working but lack of experience didnt land me up with a job in Singapore.He still has that feeling within his heart that I should work somewhere and he should be proud to talk about me to others.Two years just passed away.
Now we have plans to shift to Bangalore,Initially I thought of taking a job but later thinking as per KC,Who will take of my husband and the house so dropped the plan.
My confusion is:
1)Should I work after we move to Bangalore as we are also planning for family or should I as a women work in general?
2)Should I work as per KC Perspective since my husband is well settled, still I wish to work to avoid insecurity, just in case something happens to my husband.God forbid.
3)Also,now my husband does not rely on me for advice ,since he feels I don't have much work experience to guide him or he consulting me. I feel let down
4)I also need to take care of my parents,since I am the only child.Now that I am not working I am unable to send them some money. They are expecting me to work and send them some amount.
What do scriptures say on this?
It would be kind if senior devotees would find out a solution for this confusion.
This is after moving to Bangalore.
Thank you.
Replies
HARE KRISHNA MATAJI
I think if you are in Krishna Consciousness then there is no place for any negativity .Plz never think yourself below average etc Einstein was a very backward child during preliminary years but see what miracles happened in later years .You never know when our Kanha puts you secretly at a v high place plz wait for that time though be firm he is always with us our best friend our soul saviour all mercifull if we once call him he is there to help us 24*7 but we have to recognise his kindness like right now Rashmi Mataji (a very elevated devotee) is guiding you as messenger of Krishna.This is nothing but mercy of KRISHNA that we have so many devotees to help us .Incase there are symptoms like anxiety etc you can take biocombination 16 (homeopathic medicine ) of SBL or kali phosphoricum or green tea apart all this medication :) plzz dont get depressed its a kind of illness related to state of mind losing self esteem.Chant Hare Krishna .Rashmi Mataji helped me a lot come out of this sickness.Thanks to Rashmi Mataji and Hare Krishna to you Mataji .Dont worry things will be in your favour .HARI BOL RADHEY BOL.
Hare Krsna Rashmi Mataji and Nidhi Mataji,
Thank you so much for motivating me once again.Yes..it is true whatever you'll have said.Will work according to that.Please keep me in your prayers.
Haribol
Hare Krsna dear Mataji,
PAMHO.
First of all, my sympathies. Its not necessary that everyone is good in studies, please do not have any complex about that. Now that you are in Krsna COnsciousness, you know that the ultimate aim of life is Krsna prem. For that, we have to do our sadhana properly and be very firm in our faith. As a wife, it is your duty to follow your husband. I had once asked this question to HG Atul Krsna Das prabhuji of Mayapur that it is written in the Gita that it is better to do one's job faultily rathar than another's job perfectly. He answered taht in today's world, we are educating our girls on equal platform as boys, suddenly we cannot expect them to sit at home and follow vedic system of only cooking and cleaning for husband. Of course we have to do that, but for most of us, that is not enough. We have the time, energy and skill sets to do a lot more.
Now to answer your questions:
1) You can work until such time you actually start a family/ conceive, so that you get some work ex, plus you are fruitfully occupied. It will also please your husband.
2) What I understand is that you are wanting to work to please your husband, there is nothing wrong in that. Of course, you have to take care of your sadhana - that is top priority. if you can juggle house responsibility, work and sadhana, then please work.
3) You have to take care of your parents - your husband may not want the additional financial burden. Please work mataji without any guilt. Please take care of your parents financial needs. It is mentioned inthe scriptures that a boy child has to take care of elderly parents, but in the absence of son or if the son doesnt take care, then the daughter has to take care. Please do so.
If you are unable to find something which is as per yoru professional qualification, maybe you could do small entreprenual business of trading in clothes/ jewellery/ footwear, hold exhibitions, sell from home. Whatever works for you - the idea is to keep yourself occupied as well as generate some funds. In the process, if you are going up in your husband's eyes as equal contributor and someone on whose opinion he can rely, then why not? Then when you conceive and are unable to work some years, he will understand and support you and your parents.
Please take care of your sadhana all the while mataji.
Best of luck,
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
Hare Krsna,
Thank you Mataji for answering my questions patiently.Yes..I do have complex because my mother had this wish of seeing me good in academics and also earning well in life,Also, my husband is intelligent and he expects me to be smart like him.Also..to say my husband is not a devotee. So I have this complex.
My only fear is..that I should be able to stand on my own feet coz we don't know anything about future.God forbid anything happens to him..how will I survive in this world?
It is this fear..that is not making me sit at home and serve my husband, which is supposedly my duty.Otherwise I love cooking,serving my husband and taking care of household.
Even my husband is of the view..that you should go out to work..to know the world and he sees me in a low level if I say..I prefer staying at home.
Can you throw some light on this?
Thank you
Haribol.
Hare Krsna dear Mataji,
PAMHO.
Intelligence is eight fold, acedamic intelligence being just one of them. I get the feeling your intelligence/ skill set has not been explored yet. Maybe you aer very creative, very good in fine arts, very good sense of how to handle people/ tolerate situations. Maybe you are Miss Congeniality - you get along with everyone. Maybe you are extremely good with children/ elderly people - possibilities are endless. You are God's dear creation and please have faith that none of God's creations are useless. My take is to find out what you are good at and build on your strengths. Enough time you have spent correcting your shortcomings. Recently I attended a seminar on precisely this - each of us are unique, with our individual skill sets. We need to be aware of our skills and work on our strengths. Have faith in Krsna that He has made you unique and for a purpose. Please pray to Him fervently to show you the way that He has chosen for you.
Since your husband wants you to work, your parents expect you to support them, you have an insecurity in your mind about future, you dont have much choice mataji - you have to work. What I am trying to tell you is to find out what you are good at and do that. It could be an unconentional thing, need not be a 9 to 5 job. It could be creative - please find out - ask people who know you well, and start working in that direction.
Again I am saying, in the middle of all this, you have to do your sadhana and your duty as a wife.
Best of luck and please be in touch,
Haribol,
Your servant,
Radha Rasamayi DD
hare Krishna,,
just to add on for future security ...kindly buy term life insurance for your husband. now cost is really low..for 1 crore premium is around 8000 ...it will give some kind of peace.
Hare Krishna