Hare Krishna Prabhuji/Mataji,
My name is JISHAN PAUL and currently I am pursuing my degree in Computer science.
Actually I want to share my story with such great mentors and vaishnavas present here in this forum.
After reading please Suggest me the right way what to do now?
So it all started when I used to watch BUSINESS related videos from YouTube...that time I watched the biopic of HDG ABHAY CHARANARVINDA ACHARYA BHAKTIVEDANTA SWAMI SRILA PRABHUPADA, posted by DR.VIVEK BINDRA on his youtube channel after watching that video I was so inspired by the story of SRILA PRABHUPADA how he managed to spread the holy name of the LORD around the world,how he preached the holy name in every town and village as predicted by CHAITANYA MAHAPRABHU.
Being born to a Bengali family I knew about SHRI CHAITANYA MAHAPRABHU AND SHRI NITYANANDA PRABHU but I never learned deeply about them.
After that video I researched more about ISKCON and found about the various sampradayas and everything about the history of vaishnavism about the six goswamis etc and since then I have watched several Lectures on the beautiful past times of MAHAPRABHU and SHRI RADHA MADHAV by GREAT GREAT VAISHNAVAS like HH BHAKTI CHARU SWAMI MAHARAJ, HH JAYAPATAKA SWAMI MAHARAJ, HG AMOGHLILA PRABHU, HG GAURANGA PRABHU, HG GAUR GOPAL PRABHU and also of SRILA PRABHUPADA.
And from that time till now I listen to the daily sadhana bhajans like GAUR ARATI,BHOG ARATI ,TULSI ARATI and my favourite BOTH THE MANGAL ARATIS,
While researching about ISKCON I found out that ISKCON has a centre in AGARTALA and now I want to join ISKCON and dedicate my life onto the lotus feets of MAHAPRABHU.
I want to build a temple in my house and install the deities of The lordships there and I will serve them with my own hands.
And for this I have been convincing my mother for this (actually my father died in an accident back then at 2016)But the problem is my mother is thinking that these bhakti is for old age this and that..first she used to think that I would leave her and became a full time devotee or brahmachari...but then I told her about the various ashramas and aslo told her that I will become a household devotee or grhsta... I didn't tell her anything after that actually I was appearing for the Boards and I thought I would again tell ans and this time she will agree but now she is saying that after I had finished my college then she would agree in this till then If I ask her why she isn't allowing me she would say just one word"No".And me being a student I am fully dependent on her ( like for food, clothing etc)I have tried in many ways to convince her and I know that after finishing my college she will tell me now go find a job ,get married, have kids then think of doing bhakti......which will take me more 12-15 years more.I literally prabhu don't understand why it is happening to me.....others of my age in the other hand are black mailing their parents for money for drinking for having bad deeds for late night parties for everything which is illicit......and here I'm trying my best to convince her still the output is zero.Today again I spoke to her and now with tears in eyes I'm writing this.
And me being 19 years old ,I feel like I have wasted this 19 years of time in this material world without taking the holy name and I can't stay away from bhakti for more 15 years.
And that's why I have planned to go against her and in this pandava nirjala ekadashi I would take kanthi and japa mala.....I have full faith in Mahaprabhu....I would rather die eating nothing then having non veg items.....if mahaprabhu wants to keep me hungry I will stay hungry.....
I can understand her perspective I am assuring her again and again that I will never leave her and I will do study besides bhakti and get a secured job for sure ......but she isn't ready to even listen to me.....
Prabhu/Mata please help get out of this situation.
All Glories to SRILA PRABHUPADA.
Hare Krishna
Replies
Hare Krishna,
How big is your mandir at home presently?
Hare Krishna mataji,
The temple at my home isnot very big but enough to accommodate and pray.
You want to make a bigger place at home like
It costs about 60,000 INR
do you have money?
https://anantaartifacts.com/iskon-altar/?srsltid=AfmBOopbTBVxFrVZ9p...
look at these mandir's for bigger homes.
Is you home a big place?
If yes, you try to save money if you don't have daily 100 rupees you must keep aside atleast make a small hundi and save money.
When you get a job you can save more for a bigger temple they cost about 2 -3 lakhs.
Krishna sees your effort and will grant permission.
It is not your mom that is not agreeing right now. It is Krishna.
When time really comes... Krishna will give you chance to worship HIM as per your desire.
Till then try save money.
You know what I also wish to have a bigger mandir at home.. Big big deities. But I must do lot of seva also for bigger deities and bigger mandir requires lot more bigger home.
Save money for bigger home a nicer calmer place with serene atmosphere with nice trees and tulasi garden in the backyard. Bigger house requires a bigger place .. do you have a plot or land of your own?
Okay if you don't have plan for that.
You main idea is to make home big enough to accomodate bigger mandir and bigger dieties and doing nice pooja archana. I support that idea.
For that infrastructure should be all ready.
paise jodhna padega. You need to earn and make a good living then have a bigger mansion like home and bigger temple.
Lol!!!
I understand money is the thing which is all needed for all these. Job kanra hi padega.
But Job ka main idea tho Mandir banana hai.
Keep ur main theme Idea strong and keep working towards your goal.
Apne kamaye paison se Bhagwan ka ghar sundar wala banana.
Backyard bhi hona chahiye.. phoolon ka bageecha and tulasi garden also needed.
Okay?
daily pluck flowers from your own garden and water tulsi plants and pluck flowers and make a garland out of it for Lord Okay?
So... my plan is to work to earn sufficient money. Even if it take 12-15 yrs. oh man... it is long ?? 19+15=34 yrs.
But it is okay I will do 2 jobs and earn more and can make sufficient money in 8 yrs 27 tak ho jaayega.
ghar thora city se door rahega city mein toh chhoti jagah mein kya bada mandir bana sakte ghar hi 2-3 bedroom wala hota hai cities mein.
Bada mansion jaisa ghar ke liye city ke baher plan karna padega. future planning is must. I am doing everything for Krishna..
But Krishna is tricky. .. He will send mayadevi to delude us meanwhile.
thora paisa aate hi... hum aish aarama ki sochne lagenge.. our main theme was to make a big mandir na.. it becomes sidelined by that time.
Huh!!! Krishna really wants to test me at every step.
But ya main idea is strong then banega banega zaroor benega.
Krishna will make sure it will happen in due course of time.
Hare Krishna.