I was introduced to Krishna Consciousness in July 2017 and i used to chant only
1 round. Initially i was very strict and didnt masturbated till 26th December 2017
but at the night of that day i broke the regulative principle of illicit sex(masturbated by
watching adult content).
I was so much regretfull of that activity at that time and in remorse i doubled the rounds
from New Year. But in January and February in every 2-3 days i
constantly used to have had wet dreams. though i always used to give excuse to myself that it was not
me , i was not conscious at that time and all those type of excuses. And this used to
happen almost every 3-4 days. By mid of February i was bit worried and tried to seek out
all sorts of ways to get out of it but that driving force and motivation that i had when i was introduced to bhakti
to quit masturbation was not there. The Main factor for me was that i never opened any
website of adult content in this case except on 25 December from where this all started
and i used to say that since i was sleeping or halp asleep i have no fault. I never used to
watch adult content except the stimulations that came from brain but on 19 March 2018 i opened
the adult website and masturbated.And again on 5 april i did it again . i am thinking that will i be able to ever practice
bhakti and will krishna accept me again . there are so many questions revolving in my head.
and the biggest fear that i am no more Krishna Conscious . How will i again practice bhakti?
Will they accept me? am i going to hell ? how can i get rid of it? and a lot more.
please save me from this situation because you are a devotee . please have mercy upon me.
i am so much ashamed that i cannot even utter mahamantra out of my mouth. And continue to
doubt that will i again chat the mahamantra from next day.
PLEASE ! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! HELP ME.
i wish you would reply as soon as you have seen the mail because i do not know
what i will be doing from tomorrow. Right now i dont even have that intense regret
and devotion. I am just nill. Kind of in a depressed situation.
THANK YOU
Replies
Thanks for the spiritually uplifting post prabhu ji and i will try my level best to abstrain from these material desires but still maya is very strong hence each and every moment i have to pray to LORD KRISHNA for the mercy.
Voluntary control of sexual life is possible when a person is engaged in ministry Lord. When devotees of the Lord are attracted by beauty transcendence, they refrain from sense enjoyment.
Forced abstinence doesn't work for long. Human must to attract the beauty of transcendence.
Man will give up the lowest the quality of pleasure, when will feel the taste of the highest quality spiritual pleasures.
Vanaprastha voluntarily abstain from washing, allow you to grow beard and nails and do not feel uncomfortable since, how they engaged themselves in the service of the Lord.
All the more this applies to monks, vowed healer and established in the service of the Lord.
They are not experiencing sexual desires. Therefore, devotional service the Lord has a vital role to play. Without regard to the Lord all regulatory the principles of Varna and Ashram become burdensome, as it is it takes place in the age of Kali: Varna degrade into the caste system, ashrams be the lot of shopkeepers and store owners.
All these anomalies the social system can be changed only through the development of spiritual human cultures, that is, through devotional service to the Lord.
Light Of The Bhagavata. A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, Vrindavan 1961
Prabhu ji i have now applied all the internet filters and adult content blockers . But Still Maya is strong so i have to be carefull . By your grace i am again chanting enthusiastically
thanks for considering my problem and giving your precious time in replying. I did visit Iskcon temple today and will continue to go to get devotee association.
This is not just your problem i had the same problem you are just a neophite i had this problem till i reached bhav bhakti. Until you reach krishna prem you cannot get rid of kaam there
are 9 stages of bhakti 4th is anartha nivritti when you increase bhajan a time will come when anarthas like kaam, krodh, lobh, moh(lust,anger,greed,attachment) these anarthas will be removed when bhajan will increase and heart will cleanse its just a beginning and perfectly normal for you to be troubled by lust you need to chant more and more your problem will be solved
your servant
Abhay
Thanks for the advice . I do think association with Devotees will help me. Thanks for replying prabhu ji
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