Associating with "un-KC" family

Haribol, PAMHO


I have been reading Srila Praphupad's books for about two years now and mostly follow the four regulative principles. However, I find it hard to avoid committing sins when I am associating with family members who are very materially engrossed. Being around them seems to make me forget about my spirituality, or I use it as an excuse that since they are doing it, it can't be that bad for me to do it etc., or I rationalize that since I am around them and absorbing they're materialistic "vibes" there's not much point in trying to be disciplined myself.  I sense the dishonesty in this and I think the truth is that my mind will give me any kind of rationale to give in to temptation and there's a part of me that wants to give into it. I have a pattern of being strict with myself one day and then the next day giving in to temptation, then begging Krishna's forgiveness, then having a day of strict adherance but giving in to temptation the next day etc.  I know what I should and shouldn't do, but that doesn't seem to stop me from somehow getting caught up in mode of passion and doing sinful things because everyone else around me is doing it, or I feel bored and don't know what else to do with myself. Whatever the case, I am feeling that I can't continue like this because it is destroying my sanity and my integrity and I am really worried what the consequences will be.

If anybody is reading I would be grateful for any advice about how to deal with this situation. I am wondering if I need to stop associating with my family? I have talked to them about possibly moving into an ashram for an extended period and they were pretty understanding. My only dilemma is that since I have some student loan debts I need to be earning an income. I would ideally like to find someplace where I could earn a living while at the same time having the association of sadhus.

I would be grateful for any advice!
Thank you!

Hare Krishna

You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree | IDT

Email me when people reply –


    • PAMHO :-D

      will any ashram take care when u are physically not ok or cant contribute to economic activity which one take up

      Yes I have been wondering about that...

  • Volunteer
    it is not me who is right Prabhu, it is Ayurveda :-)
    Krishna cared about us so much that gave knowledge using which we can live happily even in this world and practice Krishna Consciousness! isn't it?!
    Your servant,
  • Volunteer

    Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!!!

    There are 6 smells in food:




    --acute (for example pepper)

    -- astringent

    -- salty

    And there are special times in a day that we can eat different tasted foods.

    For example, breakfast is rich for the mood of goodness and smells like sweet will be good to eat that time.

    At noon time the of passion is dominant. At this time we can eat almost all 5 smells salty, sour, astringent, acute and bitter. With very small amount of sweet. 

    But for dinner we can eat bitter, astringent (may be cooked vegetables - sabji, some nuts, very light food).


    if we have desire to eat sweet even for lunch or for dinner then Ayurveda says that this desire appears when the person is lazy. When a person does not want to solve his own problems and took responsibility for them.

    As a result the immune system gets weak, liver and pancreas get weak, also it is not good for sight.


     the feeling of sorrow inclines a person to consume bitter taste as like too much mustard seeds, rye flour, coffee.

    as a result  infectious diseases of the blood, nervous system.


    pessimistic and  touchy person wants too much sour.

    and too much sour destroys the functions of stomach, heart, intestines,  joints...


    the person who can not relax and who can not perform his job with love wants to eat too much salty. as a result  may suffer joints,  kidneys..


     obstinate people like to eat to much astringent food. which will damage hormonal organs, bones, bronchus...


    Too much acute like people who are  angry, over temperamental. and as a result begin inflammatory processes of liver, pancreas, stomach and heart.


    Greedy people like too much fried and oiled food.

    people who can not relax their mind will drink coffee and tea. then by the time to smoke.


    Such like problems are there in everyone's life.

    For example, when i have problem with controlling tongue i first of all pray to Krishna to help me, to give me strength, and when i do the praying nicely then i get strength. Krishna really helps!

    then i get knowledge why it is bad to eat some particular foods. and also when i eat unregulated then i get reaction immediately and suffer. some may think that i am unfortunate in this, but i see it as a blessing. for example, i can not eat sugar, what to speak of cakes...white rice, bread...

    One of the reactions is that i start to sleep more than needed. and then i won't be able to do all my duties on time or sleep while many problems ....just because of this "tiny" tongue.


    please, Daniel Prabhu, try with adding cow milk to Your food. it should be hot. For example, for dinner to drink hot milk with some chapatti. Milk really satisfies mind and You will loose desire to eat other things.

    (i am unfortunate :-( why in India milk is so deficit??? or similar to the water.)

         Also in order to pacify Vata dosha You can apply coconut oil to Your head maybe 2 times a week before bath. or for whole night.



    There are so many good things to do!!! No time for loosing!

    By Krishna's mercy You will soon be like Arjuna full for desire to fight for Krishna in the battle field of LIFE!


    sorry for big notations! :-x

    Your servant, 

    • hari krishna... mataji,

      ur knowledge is an eye opener for me....

      i never knew such knowledge about the tastes and their effects like being lazy, or pessimistic...

      due to some kind of tastes...


      mataji i successfully avoided eating cake prepared with egg on the new year..

      thanks to you mataji..

      and mataji i also wanted to know if krishna devotees should also avoid chocolate... is it prohibited too..?

      • Volunteer

        Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! all glories to Srila Prabhupada!

         and mataji i also wanted to know if krishna devotees should also avoid chocolate... is it prohibited too..?

         some chocolates contain non vegetarian additives like some E 000 components which we do not know what are they. some contain egg. 

        i heard that His Holiness Jaypataka Swami Maharaja told to Devotees from Brazil some times they can eat chocolate because they do not have anything better other then chocolate.

        Also when His Holiness Bhakti Bringa Govinda Swami Maharaja came to our country He told that if one eats 1 kilo of cocoa then the reactions will be serious otherwise we can eat maybe once in 2 months.

        But it is the product in the mode of ignorance because of that in big Deity worship standards cocoa is not offered to Krishna. What to speak of Shalagram Shilas.

        Also His Holiness Bhakti Vigyana Maharaja told that if we are dying without chocolate then eat some chocolate and forget about it. But not everyday. again some per 2 - 3 months.

        Devotees use kerob in preparing chocolates and cakes.

        In the reality if we associate with Devotees regularly in servitor-ship mood then we won't have desire to eat foods which are in the mood of ignorance. 

        Your servant, 

        • hare krishna,

          mataji. ...

          can u please let me know about some more foods which are in the mood of ignorance.

          i'll try to avoid them.

          mataji... i live in a PG (paying guest) away from my family and have to eat out... go no other option.. n i'm sure they prepare food with onion, garlic... .so i just remember Krishna before eating

          n say krishna arpanam... whatever i'm eating i'm offering to u..... as Krishna himself said he comes in our stomach as Vaishvanar agni and digests all 4 types of foods.

          hope Krishna being Hrikesha will understand.

          so my question mataji is.

          is it prohibited not to eat onion garlic at all

          or avoid it whenever possible..?

          hare krishna mataji..

          • Volunteer

            Hare Krishna Nagraj Prabhu, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

            onion and garlic makes our consciousness very low in the sense we will start to feel to much that we are this body.  and create unneeded desires in low chakras. 

            because of that if one wants to progress in spiritual life then he even should avoid the food which stayed long time closer to onion and garlic. They are made from the body of a demon and their qualities are demoniac. when they associate with other foods they influence to their mood also.

            Here we have to understand that as like people have qualities in the same way plants also have qualities. they are living entities. as like we have to associate with pure people in this way we have to choose also pure foods. It says you are what you eat.

            Prabhuji, i understand the life in PG that the owner cooks for you and you are not allowed to cook anything. but if i were you even though i would not eat the food which was cooked by non devotees. Because while they cook they taste million times. It says that tasted food by others than saintly persons is in the mode of full ignorance and fully degrades consciousness.

            at the same time we get the cook's karma, material desires, qualities even start looking like them externally. in this way control of tongue is very important.

            Now decide Your self to eat that food or to find some good solutions!

            because of that i do not live in PG but live in the room and cook myself, offer to Lord. If You also do so then at the same time will learn how to cook also.

            Your servant, 


            • hare krishna mataji,

              thank q so much mataji.

              by the grace of lord krishna.. i got in touch with this community and so helpful devotees like u and similarly by his grace only... i'll try to find a suitable accomodation, due to which i can avoid eating out.

              and thank q mataji for the idea that food is not just for stomach but for mind also..

              hare krishna mataji.

    •  i can not eat sugar, what to speak of cakes...white rice, bread...


      Yep sugar is a nightmare for me... doesn't stop me from eating it unfortunately :-P

      I'll definitely try hot milk and the coconut oil tip is excellent! :-D 

      Thank you so much!! *hugs*

      All glories to Sri Krishna


    • Hare Krsna! Mata jee - you are absolutely correct.

      I have lost appetite for several food recently. I used to eat rich food, now I wait eagerly for Friday to eat Prasadam. :-)

This reply was deleted.