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Isn't gender something to transcend as it is highly tangible and associated with Maya? I dont know if it is due to my ignorance, and if so forgive me, but arent there certain customs a vaishnava should avoid simply due to the fact that they are based on sexual identity?
I understand marriage, since its something done lovingly and not sexually, but why is that there are certain things a male must do and others a female must do. Apart from biological mechanisms, i asking about things on the social level. Shouldnt a  vaishnava be more concern about the soul proper than his/her or others bodily dress, is it not just skin disease.?? and avoid activities that would group him or her in a gender category??

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  • IDT gave a nice anser, to add to that. Krishna has given us activities based on our gender, our abilities,etc.
    In the spiritual world GOloka Vrndavan, We are all people. There are men, women, children, youths, animals plants, trees etc.
    Everyone has particular duties according to their body and situation. If one person tries to do anothers persons job then they are not doing their duty.
    So if we happen to have a mans body then we are to do activities acording to that position. IF we have a womens body then we should do our duties acording to Krishnas instructiosn for that kind of body. If a women tries to do the mans job in a marriage then there is less harmony, and if a man tries to do the womens activities, then things become topsy turfy.
    But we can see how things are so messed up in this age of Kali and the women want to be the men and not realizing that their duty is to care for the family by cooking and nourishing them with her love and taking care of the home and Deities. This is a very important job and if done properly it can bring so much harmony and happiness to the family. But if she goes to work while haveing growing children, they become neglected and so does the house work and the food they eat is generally not as nice etc.
    Her job is so important, but they have taken it to be less important in this age.

    Be honest, I know some devotees who are transgender and I find they struggle a lot with their mind and position in life. Transgenders are generally confused from their previous lifes body and that is why they feel they are a different gender than their are in this life. THat is just an extream example of one who is trying to do anothers role.
    BUt if one can just surrender to Krishna and how He explains how to be happy and how to act in ones body, field of work etc. then one can be happy.
    Hope this helps somehow.
    Jaya Sri Krishna!
    • Your next life is determined by the actions you take in this life. It is not necessarily Krishna who determines what body you get next. He gives you whatever you want. If you want to know him, he gives the resources and if you want to forget him, He gives you the means to. Individuality is jivan. Yes transgenders do suffer a lot, but nothing is so simple as men do that, women do that. Its not in everyones individuality to reproduce, to become a householder. I am sure its all easy for you having to please your female body with its natural work in this life, youve been blessed to not have to abhor your phyiscal body. And yes KC can lift all distresses, and since writing this discussion ive realised any action done with Krsna in mind (and as long as its not an offense to Holy) is the best thing you can do.But can you explain the twisted variety of this nature, explain the duty of those who acquire hemaphrodite bodies? Or even boys who at a young age become (and not by there will) eunuchs. I have a hard time understanding that everything can be peachy by simply conforming to a straight secterian society. Yes, KC is the means of solving lifes miseries, but KC is not conforming to society, it is conforming to Krishna, and Krishna is the Absolute. And it ecompasses all existence. otherwise it cant be Absolute. Not to assume or make any offenses but your transgender friends are obviously not always thinking of Krishna , since they struggle with their minds.
      -Hare Krsna
      • Hare Krishna I guess you are misunderstanding my answer. I am not saying that everyone can do as Krishna describes as religious principles and occupationol duties. They are just recommended to us by hum for how to live in this world to be happy. BUT this is Kaliyuga and our Karma is very complicated and our minds are extreamly restless and actually it is due to conforming to society that people do not want to follow Krishnas idea of how to be happy.
        As far as Unics, Srila Prabhupada explains that one gets a body in this life depending on their thoughts at the time of death. If one is a woman and thinks of a man at the time of death, she will become a man in her next life, and if a mand thinks of a women at the time of death, he will become a women in his next life.
        But sometimes a person is still mentally attached to their previous body in this new life. So lets say one was a woman in the previous life and due to thinking of a man at the time of death thinks of a man. Now in this new life she is a Man. But she is very attached to her last life body and mind. So now in this life he is having a mind like the last life... He feels more like a women he has more of a womenly nature.
        Those who feel they are both genders. just flicker back and fourth from the past life to this life feelings and attachments.
        It all makes perfect sense.
        Similarly though there are general occupations for men and women according to Krishna due to past life feelings of having the opposite body, a women may be more attracted to doing male activities, though not necessarily gay to that degree of the past life attachment.
        So if one is not able to do those perscribed duties, that is not a problem. Just chant HareKrishna, and Gradually we can become purified. The fact is we are not these bodies, but Krishna does give us guidance how to act acording to our body acording to Religious principles in these bodies in the material world to make spiritual advancement. But the main thing especially in Kaliyuga is to offer all of ones activities to Krishna, and ones heart and mind and Krishna will guide them acording to their situation to help them make advancement.
        You are correct it is not just black and white thing etc.
        But kindlyd do not think that I am having a perfect situation. I have made ennumerable mistakes and no it is not easy for me. I do have to work at it to do things correctly and please Krishna.
        Hope this makes sense to you and somehow answers your question.
        Thank you.
        Hare Krishna.
        • I must say something on this. Just because let's say, a man wants to performs something that one views as a woman's job does not mean he is tied to his previous life. Why is it so wrong for a man to want to help a woman decorate a temple with flowers? Whats wrong with a man cooking for Krishna? Whats wrong with a man stringing flowers together? I see nothing wrong in that and it does not mean he is tied with their previous lifes. It should be celebrated that a man would want to help the matajis with decorating. Yes, in this age of Kali Yuga everything is different, yes there are certain things a married woman must do as her duty etc...but I think that it is wonderful that a man can help out in woman's duties as well as take part in some of the woman's duties. I think Krsna would smile and bless those that do. As I have stated in other discussions, it does not matter whether you are a monkey, a cat, a dog....human, we can all serve Krishna as we please, Krishna embraces all his devotees. Krsna would not frown upon those that do something out of their regular duties. I'am a woman living under tight conditions due to lack of funds and live in a nasty place with karmis...and until I can move to a residence close to the temple, then things will be better. I perfom Bhakti, I can still be of service to Krsna in these conditions. I go to work, make money to feed myself and my dear friend. I work while my friend goes to school. I do both male and female duties. It does not mean i hold on to my past lives. I'am simply doing what is necessary to live. Maybe someday I can live near the temple on watseka ave.I see nothing wrong with people in general taking part in other duties. We can all do different duties without causing disharmony. Speaking of those families out there whose women work and the children stay at home. It is different because the mother can't be home to nurture her children, when it is not balanced, then it becomes disharmony. That is why everything and all duties must be balanced. PAMHO.
          • Hare Krishna Bhaktine Jenny. I think you are very much misunderstanding me. I never said anything about a man doing devotional service like that. In fact men cooking, cleaning, making flower garlands are equal to women. Devotional service to Krishna any one can do most any service. Srila Prabhupada even let all the ladies do arotik and dressing deities etc. Where most temples in India do not let women do thos services. My Point is. If a women leaves her duty of taking care of the children and husband and the home and Deities, then she is leaving a very important position. It is her duty acording to Krishna that she does theese things. Sometimes due to wanting more THINGS and a nicer HOUSE etc. the woman goes to work and basically the whole family suffers in so many ways.
            No question that the husband and wife can help each othe in each others duties. That is differant than fully taking over the positions out of not wanting to do ones own position.
            In fact it is very wonderful if the husband assists the wife in her duties and the wife assists the husband with his. It is actually recommended. So please dont read wrong into what the intention is.
            Children are lacking in getting the love from their mothers when they go to work. They come home with no mother home to assist them and take care of them. Then the husband comes home and she is also tired form work and she generally brings home some fast food or makes something fast to eat that is not very wondeful. The husband does not feel taken care of nor do the children. Then they wonder why the children are sick all the time and have many anxiety disorders and need medications for this and that and the husband finds another woman at work ect. This is my point.
            If one has to work due to circumstances then that is differant. But generally women go to work thinking they need more money to pay for more vacations, big big house, fancy car, and to keep up with the societies idea of so called happiness. Or she goes to work out of bordum thinking her family duties are not very satisfying. But if one does everything for Krishna, then ones household duties and family can be a very wonderful thing.
            Hope this makes more sense.
            Hare Krishna.
            Hare Krishna.!
            • Hari bol to all bhaktvrinda,

              discussion is getting complex and big.
              chant hare krishna and be happy.pls don't use "I must say something on this" such sentense be polite in discussion it may hurt devotee.
              pls forgive me if i presented wrongly and my offenses.

              trying to be servant,
              nilesh
  • What you say is true. Our activities should help us transcend the material identity - not just of our sex but also our family, skin colour & nationality.
    However, we should also keep in mind that the activity also depends on the kind on body and mind given to a spirit soul by Krishna.
    We are suppose to be servant of servant of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.
    In a marriage a husband should try to assist his wife and vice versa. But there will be certain things based on the body which the husband should do and certain wife should do. This is natural. But this does not mean that they try to dump the work on other partner.
    • oh yes of course! its all logical, if its a marriage then without love it wouldnt be there to begin with. Outside of what is a marriage, not all devotees marry, my discussion is based on what limitations there are to bhakti yoga, which doesnt make sense if there are any based solely on gender.
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