Hello,
I am in the IT/Software field. Sometimes I feel a lot of anxiety because of peer pressure. There are 2 primary reasons for this;
1. A lot of my colleagues (some in earlier organization) have travelled abroad (or onsite as they say) while I after around 7 years of experience have never been on onsite assignments (to some extent, even I did not gave my 100% in trying to go onsite).
2. My colleagues who have been onsite talk a lot of good stuff about how good life is abroad (specially in USA) and I feel a lot of times to have missing something very good. They also criticize a lot about India after coming from abroad.
I try my best to not think much about it...But being in the software field, I am in constant touch with such conversations and hence cannot avoid it at all times.
I was reading an article in the Back to Godhead magazine;
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/profiles/blogs/anxieties-how-to-solve-them-how-to-transcend-them
(Everyone feels the absence of his relative who is away from home. The particular symptom of the age of Kali is that no family is now blessed to live together.)
Please suggest how do I handle this situation.
Replies
As the saying goes, grass is always greener on the other side. So also, America looks better when you are living in India.
America is like some of the worlds like Atala, Vitala, Mahatala, where the Rakshasas dwell, is very suitable, if you want to indulge in sense pleasures. Liquor is cheap and plentiful. Plenty of lose women to indulge in illicit sex life. Massive gambling places like Las Vegas and Atlantic city. Meat is cheap and often cheaper than vegetables.
Many Indians when they come to America, after associating with Malechas, start eating Cow and pig meat. Americans however are truthful, the one leg of Kali Yuga. Many are so sinful that they cannot see that killing cows and other animals is bad Karma and has consequences.
Many take Jesus as scapegoat and say that it is not possible for them to follow the 10 commandments and therefore do not follow them. They claim that by grace or death of Jesus, they will go to heaven, where they can eat more flesh and drink more wine. Some become Vegan and avoid all animal products including milk and honey.
Hare Krishna,
Seeing Onsite as a status symbol is pretty immature on your colleagues part. What matters is how you advance in your career, onsite or not. Onsite is just an opportunity to work at the client's site and gain more insight and experience which will help you grow in your role.
From my experience, i feel it all depends on what you are on the inside. I have seen Indian here are even more traditional than Indians in India as they don't know that since they left India, India has westernized by leaps and bounds. They stick to their Indian friends, engaged in devotion and raise their kids with good Indian values. and very few are here for a long haul, most of them live for a few years and long for the day they can go back as everyone wants to settle down in India only, as that is the home.
It all just in your heart, you can be the same person no matter where you go or live.
Plus the life here is not all bed of roses, the healthcare costs can bog down anyone, even after insurance. You also have to do soo much household work, doing the dishes, laundry, then folding the laundry, cooking, cleaning and it goes on and on every day.
Even if you are on onsite, please stick to Indian jobs as American jobs are very very unstable, they hire you like this and they fire you like this (my experience), no notice nothing.
Best way to handle politics is that you do your work, you will definitely advance, it might be a little late. rest
NO ONE GETS ANYTHING MORE THAN THEIR DESTINY AND BEFORE THEIR TIME.
Hare Krishna,
Thanks a lot for your reply...I have heard from a lot of people that once they go to the US/onsite, they find it very difficult to come down to India...Sometimes, they say that they now have a higher taste of life...They feel that we in India have not seen the world...I do somewhat agree to this point as going across the world increases one's exposure to a lot of things...
But those people also mean about exposure to things like girls, sex, strip clubs, etc which I would say is completely wrong...
But one does find that life in India is getting harder by the day in terms of inflation, traffic issues, pollution, etc
nice question, i join You in this Prabhuji,
Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Dandavat Pranam. All glories to Srila Prabhupada
I can feel you what you are saying as I am in the same profession and see everyday how there is cut throat competition to go to onsite. Actually this globalization has create a mindset in Indian society where success means having big cars,loitering around everywhere with many members of opposite sex, drinking wine as if like water, going to shopping malls and multiplex and all such stuffs. Basically creating a society of envy,greed and lust where success is measured based on who is able to do all this things in more creative and opulent way. But the fault in this things are they take us away far far away from the original goal of our life and throw us in a life where we struggle harder and harder to possess all this things though not satisfied.
Practically speaking there is no life in IT/Software. They are sucking our blood , 10-12 hrs in a cubicle, constant pressure,backbiting, taking garbage food. And they will make you feel that this what life means there is nothing beyond it. Going to US or onsite is like going to Vaikuntha for them. The total environment is created as such if you are not greedy and a restless person you will be seen as not up to the mark. Their demands not just end in being satisfied by the given task you have successfully delivered rather they demands give more time apart from project, organize team outing, take garbage food with us, go with us to smoke cigar and tea, stay in office late night. If you are very expert in all these then you will be judged as a leader , a great man in the world of fools.
Basically people want to go to onsite to enjoy unlimited sense gratification, nothing else. Whatever money they earn there they can't save properly for future as all they spend in either buying cars or going behind woman. If you are planning to retire early then you can opt for an onsite to save some money but for that you have to consider other factors also like to save your Krishna consciousness, if that is spoiled everything will be spoiled. Generally a Karmi things in terms of sense enjoyment only therefore they don't consider what will they eat there, how would he stay without his family, health issues and all other factors but for a devotee this things are concerned. So yes you can go to US but for that you must have maturity in devotional service thus you don't fall down there, maya is very strong specially when we are not in association of devotees. Another thing is when we too much endeavor to progress materially our devotional life get hammered, thats why when we act like a karmi and fight in company to go to onsite then all day long we only think about that and make many plans and thus thoroughly frustrated in due course of time.
Don't believe in people who says I am very happy in Onsite . A hog doesn't know that he is eating stool. He shows around see I am very happy though I am eating stool. One who is in maya there is no difference between current India and America. Even in India today see around you will see two things 1. sex 2. false ego. So its not a matter of country or people rather it is what is your goal in life and how serious you are in pursuing it.
Hope this will help
Your aspiring servant
Hari Bol
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 12. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 14. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 15. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 16. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 17. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 18. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 19. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 20. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 21. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 22. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 23. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
QUESTIONS ASKED TO SRILA PRABHUPADA. PART 13. ON PLEASURE AND SENSE GRATIFICATION.
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/krishnaconsciousness/forum/to...
Q. 255. WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF DEVOTEES` ASSOCIATION ?
http://www.iskcondesiretree.net/group/perfectquestionsperfectanswer...
Hari Bol!
I am not qualified to assess the correlation between the article and your mindset, so forgive me if any subtle point is overlooked.
First of, being in India is being blessed. Due to some family issue with my family and in-laws (separately), I decided to stay in India for 4 years. I got numerous chances to come to USA, but I would decline happily. One day, my wife insisted that we go to USA and live a good life. She did not want to stay in India. By the way, she has tall claims to be KC and Vaishnava. So, one day I gave up and came to USA. After coming to USA, I had no time for anything in life. I was struggling to settle down while she was enjoing thoroughly and enjoying learning American way of life.
Time passed and after around 10 years of hard work, sending her to complete one more degree in an American university, I could save enough to buy a home, earn her American citizenship while keeping mine Indian and within two months seeing her become friendly with another man and betraying me/throwing me out of home, losing kids forget about home/car/bank balance. Why am I telling you all this? Just so you know that US does not mean that you will be content or happy. It is perhaps not best place for everyone. You need to be selfish and cunning to enjoy US.
Now, some devotees who know my story sympathize with me. I used to go to BV, stopped as my wife will tarnish me there. After I left, she left within few months as that was not place where she could put me in in wrong light anymore. Me? I lost trust in fellow devotees. They were yes, yes with my wife as I felt she was born Vaishnava and she pretended well to be KC. I was learning.
But things do not stop there, I still read Prabhupada's literature, I listen to devotee's thoughts while perhaps somewhere my wife is partying. One day, I will perhaps get some impetus and nice company to start it again, maybe.
Do not take US pressure too heavily. I still feel, had a stayed in India, my family would have been saved and my kids would have been better off.
Your servant,
Sharanagat
Hare Krishna Sharnagat Prabhu ,
Sad to know your story . I want to share something what Prabhupada said ,
as you read prabhupada books .
A Vaishnav's heart is very pure and a pure hearted person is extremely magnanimous. So one's Vaishnavism will be judged by the degree of his magnanimity :- Srila Prabhupada
Do read below post of mine .
Those words of Prabhupada really touched my heart.
Can you please send me a link to the full text/conversation Ashwani Kumar Prabhu?
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