Somehow, we are struggling to surrender in this movement. And in the end, for our half-baked surrender which was there anyway, we get glorified for it. Who can say that they have surrendered out of pure love for Krsna? I was a pujari for three months and I fell asleep during the pujas. I kept nodding off. I was not a very good pujari at all. I was doing it mechanically, it was completely clear to me. I had no feeling there. I was just waving the lamp and falling asleep during an aarti.