By Karnamrita das
PRAYERS FOR SURRENDER TO LET GO OF THE UNHELPFUL AND ACCEPT OUR CONTRIBUTION: I may die today. I may not be able to finish this piece of writing. I have an incurable condition which I was blessed to remember from my cancer diagnosis. I am a soul encased in a body that by identifying with gives me the view that I must suffer disease, old age, death, and rebirth. I have an ego that feels threatened by non-existence and sees others as competitors for what appear to be scarce resources, and so I create friends and enemies. I think I have to watch my back at all times in fear and look out for “No. 1” or for me, those who support me, and what is “mine.”.
I believe I am defined by what mind tells me, what I see, and by the conditions around me: I consider that my identity is my work, my station in life, my story, my family, my nationality, ethnicity, gender, religion, sport’s team, favorite sitcom, or my past or present circumstances. I act as if the world should be centered around me, thinking that the world and other persons, places, or things are for my personal enjoyment. I tend to argue for my limitations and staying the same rather than work toward fulfilling my potential with faith that I can and must change to avoid stagnation.
The above is what is called material bodily conditioning, and what I, and all us of are up against, when we take up the banner of the soul to spiritually awaken by realizing our true nature for the glory of God. Fortunately, I have been blessed to understand that there must be some purpose about my current bodily/mental condition which in my late teenage past became intolerable, the basis of an existential crisis that led me on my spiritual quest. I again returned to find bhakti, the holy name, my comrades in spirit, and my teachers.
Thus, due to some unimaginable good fortune, I dedicated my life, sincerely though naively, to understand my spiritual purpose and fulfilling it through my personal mission. With this idea, I began my spiritual journey. On that journey, I have traveled through many valleys, tropical islands, deserts, or with great joy, difficulties, detours, frustrations, disappointments, starts and stops, recommitments, longings for what I thought I lost, and then, repeatedly being redirected forward on the path of light and true virtuous life.
I have to continually remind myself of the urgency of this quest, albeit with a sense of humor, and reevaluate my progress toward the transcendent goal. Doing this, I have to make course corrections to keep on the path with enthusiasm and joy. I see my life circumstances and whatever conditions or people I encounter as purposeful, meant to teach, and help me grow as a person and spiritual practitioner.
I cannot use my spiritual quest as an excuse for not living as a human being and understanding both my life lessons and the gifts I am meant to share with both humility in my dependence on God, and confidence in his grace and help. Nor can I use my physical necessities as an excuse for not continuing my spiritual aspirations and practices. Balance is always in order until that time when our spiritual calling takes over our life and becomes our only necessity. When we love Krishna, or God, we will know what to do!
In our initial enthusiasm for the spiritual quest we may imitate this stage of full surrender. While that does have value for the short term to give us some spiritual footing, we gradually come to realize just how high such a stage this is, requiring considerable spiritual standing and passing through many lower stages of growth and tests. That way out is through!
It is never too late to be what you might have been! Thus, in the last stage of my life, or perhaps with my last breath, I reaffirm with whatever humility I have, that I am a keeper of the flame of bhakti (as all devotees are meant to be) to whatever degree I am blessed. I have to do whatever is required to keep that flame burning brightly—my challenge is to not be distracted by complacency or comfort. I am also called to pass that torch of spiritual illumination to others and teach whatever I know. If I don’t, I will dry up, and just fade away ingloriously.
To this end I pray for all I am worth to realize my highest potential for the good of all, and encourage you do that same. Be a possibility thinker. Change your focus by affirming your highest good. Spiritual faith attracts the mercy to know that prayer with the holy name carries us and can move our personal mountains or apparent obstacles. With God (for us, Krishna) all things are possible!
Live and pray. Breathe, aspire, pray, and become. Share and serve. Give and love. Offer everything (Gita 9-27). Surround yourself with the holy names, inspiring association, and what encourages you. Let us encourage one another to stay the course of a lifetime of devotional aspirations and service!
Source: http://www.dandavats.com/?p=76205
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