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By Govinda Dasi ACBSP

For me, the reason I like to hear other devotees’ memoirs and experiences, such as in Siddhanta Prabhu’s “Memories” series, and Yadubar/Visakha’s “Following Srila Prabhupada” series, and even simple memories on Facebook, is that when I came to be with Srila Prabhupada, it was at a very different time. I love to hear what other devotees experienced. I love to hear their realizations. And I see the common thread of awe and inspiration at the time of their first meeting with Srila Prabhupada. And I think it is important for everyone who was there at that magical time to share their experiences and realizations of what it was like to be in the presence of a “modern-day saint.”

Srila Prabhupada is like a many-faceted jewel, shimmering in thousands of different directions. According to different angles, the jewel of Srila Prabhupada can be described in so many various ways. My perception will certainly vary from someone else’s because each of us have our own indiviedual viewpoints, and our own experiences, as well as our own individual relationship with him.

Yet the common thread that runs through all of these memoirs is one of divine inspiration, or feelings like “this is the most real thing that has ever happened to me,” or “this person is divine, and he can see into my mind, and even my heart and soul,” or “this is the most thrilling experience of my life, I’m meeting the person I have been looking for all my life, or perhaps for eternity.” Certainly that is how I felt. I felt that I had met the person I had been searching for all my life. Suddenly, everything made sense.

When I met Srila Prabhupada, the ISKCON JET was on the launching pad, but it had not yet taken off. It was just beginning to warm up, the rockets were firing, and all hands were on deck, but the real take-off was set to be in late 1969 and early 1970. That’s when the action really began.

When I was with Srila Prabhupada, continuously from January of 1967 to January of 1969, everything was in the planning stage. There was much introspection and quiet time. He would sit in his tiny bedroom/cum/workroom and turn the atlas world globe, and study each country on the planet. He would say, “Brahmananda, you will go to Russia, Rayarama, you will go to England, Goursundar, you will go to Japan…” and so on. He had big plans for his handful of teenagers, college students, and young college grads. (And a few hippies as well.)

He was studying Western culture up close, deciding what direction to go so far as his implementation of an ancient tradition into a very foreign and so-called “modern” culture.

For example, when we first began living with him in June of 1967, just after his illness, he would ask questions like, “Goursundar, do you know how to drive car?” Goursundar would reply, “Yes, Swamiji, when I was sixteen I learned to drive.” Then he would ask me, “Govindasi, you also know how to drive car?” “Yes, Swamiji, since sixteen years old I’ve been driving.” Then he would ask, “Goursundar, do you know how to swim?” And Goursundar would reply, “Yes, Swamiji, we took swimming classes when we were very young.” Then he would turn to me, “Govindasi, you also can swim?” And I would reply, “Yes, Swamiji, I can swim,we were all given swimming classes as young children.” Then he would ask other similar questions, as he studied our education and upbringing.

He learned that, unlike his native India, boys and girls in the west are generally given very similar educations and opportunities. In this way, he calculated how to introduce the teachings of Lord Chaitanya in western culture so they could be accessed by everyone.

In Montreal, in the summer of 1968, I remember Goursundar explaining the concept of “dating” to Srila Prabhupada. He explained that most youths begin dating at around sixteen years old, and drive to the homes of their girlfriends in their parents’ car. Or, they may even have their own car at 16 or 17 years old. Then they would go to movie theaters or drive-in diners, where they would order coca-cola or other soft drinks. They would often go to dances or to drive-in movies, and the two of them would watch movies and usually kiss and hug and sometimes more. Of course, the time was 1968, and this description was of the fifties and sixties. Western culture was much more simple than it is today.

However, Srila Prabhupada was shocked! He had never heard of such concepts as “dating”—where two young teens were given so much freedom to do as they liked, without parental supervision. At that time, he wagged his head from side to side, and exclaimed, “It is amazing that I have any disciples at all!”

It seemed that Goursundar and I were somewhat typical specimens of western youth, raised in middle-class families, and given average education and opportunities. We were not from the ultra-rich or the extreme poor, we were not social activists or wild and crazy hippies. We were disillusioned college students, then in our senior year, questioning our very purpose and existence in this world. And we were very disillusioned and dissatisfied with the culture we saw around us.

In the years 1967 and 1968, when we traveled all over the United States as Srila Prabhupada’s secretary and servants, he studied us carefully and made plans of how to plant Lord Chaitanya’s movement in the western world.

He taught us how to cook (“Wash your hands, don’t taste anything, just enough spice, not too much!), how to offer our food to Krishna (“always up through the disciplic succession, never directly to Krishna, He will not accept from you directly!”), he taught us how to brush our teeth with eucalyptus twigs (“those plastic toothbrushes are very dirty! If you want to have teeth like me when you are old, you must use twigs!”—and flashed a bright white smile), how to deal with one another (“always address one another as prabhu, because you are all my prabhus, all of you who have taken shelter of me, the Prabhupada”), he taught us how to view the exploits of modern scientists (“rascals, simply foolish rascals!”), how to clean pots and kitchens, (“Scrub harder!”)and so on. Most of all, he taught us how to chant the Holy Names with simplicity, love and devotion. At least he tried. The rest was up to us.

Srila Prabhupada gave Hare Nama initiation to anyone who expressed a sincere interest. If a person was sincere enough to agree to his four regulative principles, he would give them initiation. Later on, he became more cautious, but as he would sometimes say, “when the house is burning down, you need firemen—anyone who comes can throw water.”

So far as second initiation, this was something requested by my husband Goursundar. Actually, Srila Prabhupada did not consider it very important at that time. He was not that anxious to give Gayatri mantra, because he considered the Hare Krishna mantra much more important for us.

However, he gave Gayatri mantra to both of us during our month-long stay in Boston in May of 1968. Already, bits of Deity worship were being introduced, and it would soon be fully introduced, so the Gayatri mantra would be needed, especially for pujaris.

In 1967 and 1968, Goursundar was busy studying Sanskrit and Bengali. Initially we both took lessons daily from Srila Prabhupada. He would voice the alphabet, and we would repeat the sound. In late 1967, just after his return from India, we met with him each morning for our Sanskrit and Bengali lesson. In this way, we were learning to speak the alphabetic sounds of Sanskrit.

He also taught us one very beautiful verse from Chaitanya Charitamrita:

vande sri-krsna-caitanya-

nityanandau sahoditau

gaudodaye puspavantau

citrau sandau tamo-nudau

The translation is: I offer my respectful obeisances unto Sri Krishna Caitanya and Lord Nityananda, who are like the sun and the moon. They have arisen simultaneously on the horizon of Gauda to dissipate the darkness of ignorance and thus wonderfully bestow benediction upon all.

Srila Prabhupada would then explain that generally the sun and the moon do not arise simultaneously. But at this time, in Kali yuga, the sun of Lord Chaitanya and the moon of Lord Nityananda have arisen together over the sacred land of Bengal, and have spread their benediction rays over all humanity. He loved this verse. And each morning, he would ask me: “Govindasi, have you remembered that verse?”

And I would reply, “Yes, Swamiji,” and then recite it in the same sing-song manner in which he taught me. Then he would smile his biggest sunshine smile, and express delight. He got great joy from this each and every day, so I was careful to recite it for him every morning. It seemed he expressed satisfaction that a simple western girl was attracted to the glories of Lord Chaitanya.

Srila Prabhupada was always absorbed in the mood of Lord Chaitanya’s pastimes in Chaitanya Charitamrita. Each day when I cleaned his room, I would notice that indeed this particular book was always open on his carved rosewood bookstand. I would carefully dust it, touch it, even caress it, and long for being able to understand the little squiggles on the pages. I had a real yearning for hearing the pastimes of Lord Chaitanya, and he understood my heart. Later, he began translating this wonderful text, and giving me tapes each day to transcribe.

In the evenings, he would stand beside our desk (a kitchen table), and look over our shoulders while we practiced drawing the curved Devanagari alphabet characters. Once, after watching us for some time, he chuckled and commented as he shuffled out of the room, “Krishna does not really need our service. He is complete, He doesn’t need anything. He only wants our love. Just like the teacher is observing the student, he may be scribbling something, but he is trying. He is trying to do it. So Krishna is like that, he wants to see that we are trying to serve, sincerely, even we may not be able to do it very nicely. He wants only our love. Our loving service.”

However, early on I made a decision to stop my language studies, and focus on Srila Prabhupada’s personal care and his many letters, as well as his transcription work and artwork. But Goursundar continued his studies in order to help with the transliteration of Srila Prabhupada’s books. So Goursundar was usually at the library when we lived in Boston and Montreal.

It was around that time, during our summer in Montreal in 1968, that Goursundar came home with that very special book, SRI KRISHNA CHAITANYA, HIS LIFE AND PRECEPTS. In his library searches, he found this book sent by Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur to McGill University, in the year 1896. When he gave it to Srila Prabhupada, he was overjoyed! It meant so much to him.This book had been sent to the West in the year of his birth,1896. Srila Prabhupada joyfully expressed that Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur had paved the way for Krishna consciousness in the western world. This was a great encouragement and inspiration to Srila Prabhupada, who so far had only a handful of disciples, three or four storefront “temples,” no books printed, and very little to show from the outside.

In the course of his studies, Goursundar learned about the Gayatri mantra, and began asking Srila Prabhupada about it. At first Srila Prabhupada was somewhat reluctant to discuss it, and even said it was not that important. It seemed he wanted to delay dealing with it. However, Goursundar was anxious to have it, so Srila Prabhupada agreed and performed the first two Gayatri mantra initiations in Boston, in May of 1968. Satsvarupa and Goursundar were given the Gayatri initiation the first night, and Jadurany and myself were given the Gayatri initiation the second night.

It was also in Boston that Srila Prabhupada accepted the title “Srila Prabhupada.” In Goursundar’s language studies, he had discovered suffixes and prefixes, and was fascinated by the suffix “ji.” After all, we called Srila Prabhupada “Swamiji” up till then. So one day Goursundar asked our “Swamiji” if he could address me as “Govindaji.”

Srila Prabhupada was sitting at his trunk-desk as usual, and I was perched just in front, taking dictation of his letters. Goursundar came into the room and casually asked if he could call me “Govindaji.” Immediately, Srila Prabhupada replied, “No, this is a very third-class form of address.”

Naturally I was shocked, because we were calling him “Swamiji” every day, and had always done so. So I said, “But if it’s a third-class form of address, why are we calling you “Swamiji?!” He humbly replied, “Oh, its not very important.” But I was persistent. It certainly seemed important to me!

So I requested that he please tell us how to address him in a more respectful manner. At first, he was very reluctant. He was very humble. But I insisted, and finally he said, “Guru Maharaja, Guru Deva, or Srila Prabhupada are alright.”

But then, I said, “That’s three. Can you please give us one specific name that you would like to be called?” At that time, he thought for a few moments, then quietly said, “Srila Prabhupada is nice.”

So I happily replied, “From today you shall be called Srila Prabhupada!” I later informed Satsvarupa, the Boston temple leader, so that all the other devotees would know about Swamiji’s name-change. Later on, he said that this was a constant reminder of his own beloved “Srila Prabhupada.”

Right after accepting the honorific title “Srila Prabhupada,” he instructed us how to respectfully address one another. He told us, “Now, you must all address one another as ‘prabhu’, since you are all the ‘prabhus’ who have taken shelter of the ‘Prabhupada.’ You have all taken shelter at the lotus feet of the ‘Prabhupada’ so you are all my ‘prabhus.’”

He used the term “prabhu” in relation to himself, the “Prabhupada” and not in a gender sense. So all of us began addressing one another as “prabhu” as a reminder that we belonged to him, our “Prabhupada.”

We all took this to mean that we were related to him in this way. He told us that the meaning of the word “prabhupada” is “master of all masters,” and we all were the “masters who took shelter of the greatest master, the master of all masters, the Prabhupada.” This is the understanding he gave us at that time, and it is why most of Srila Prabhupada’s disciples continue to call one another, “prabhu.” From then on, I addressed my husband as “Goursundar Prabhu” and he called me “Govindadasi Prabhu.”

Once, in San Francisco, some time after his return from India in 1968, I went into his room for my daily duties of bringing his lunch, or taking dictation of his letters, or bringing water or whatever. Since I was his only servant at that time, and Goursundar was often studying nearby, I was going in and out of his room many times every day. On this day, I saw him sitting at his desk, fingering tiny shiny articles of clothing and jewelry. This was the first time I ever saw Deity clothes.

Apparently, he had just received a shipment of devotional items from India, sent by a disciple of his dearmost Godbrother, Srila Bhakti Prajna Kesava Maharaj, who was Srila Prabhupada’s sanyas guru. His disciple, Sri Narayan Maharaja, often sent Ayurvedic medicine (such as barailach) and other things, like drums and kartals, that Srila Prabhupada requested. This time, he had sent beautiful brass Radha Krishna Deities to him as well as some Deity garments.

Srila Prabhupada had a most unusual look on his face, and I was captivated by it. It was as if he were in a different dimension, as he carefully handled these tiny clothes that sparkled in his hands.

“How mysterious,” I thought! “What is going on here? What is he thinking that he has such a joyful glowing expression on his face?—almost like he is holding onto some wonderful secret that he is just about to share!”

But he did not say very much. He just said, “Ah, Govindasi, just see how beautiful these are, They will look very gorgeous dressed in these outfits!” I hardly knew what he was talking about.

Later, in Seattle of 1968, my godsister Harsharani began sewing more such beautiful clothes for his Deities, and that is when he first introduced Deity worship.

While spending that wonderful month in Seattle, in the autumn of 1968, he taught us how to perform arotik and even introduced the arotik song, “Kiba Jaya Jaya Gourachandra,…” Harsharani, Kartikeya and myself were present in his room. This was the first full arotik, and he carefully described how to circle each and every item, as well as the mood and the meaning of this wonderful song about the opulence of Lord Chaitanya. His small brass Radha Krishna Deities now traveled with us, and he was always absorbed in Their worship. He told me that as a child, he would often gaze at the beautiful Radha Krishna Deities’ eyes that were in the courtyard of the Mullik family.

Once, in Los Angeles, in late 1968, I had gone to a popular costume jewelry shop, and purchased many types of sparkly rhinestones and pearls, of various colors, shapes, and sizes. There was one bright rhinestone that looked like a big diamond, with a pointed back.

While dressing his Radha Krishna Deities one day, I thought perhaps that rhinestone would look nice as Radharani’s nosepin. So I carefully placed the diamond rhinestone against the side of Her Nose, just to see how it looked. It was a smooth cut-glass rhinestone, and his Deities were made of brass.

Amazingly, when I took my hand away, the stone stayed in place, next to the side of Her Nose! Logically, this should not have happened, because the stone was glass, the Deities were brass, and there was no glue or anything that was enabling it to stick to the side of Her Nose. It was kind of miraculous, and I was surprised!

So I rushed into Srila Prabhupada’s room, and excitedly told him what happened. He looked up, and knowingly replied, “Yes! She wants that! She wants that nosepin!” The nosepin stayed, it never fell off.

Each day was filled with some new bit of excitement or information. And it was my duty to transfer it to the local devotees, so it could be spread around to everyone. In one sense, it was a very quiet and peaceful time. Not much could be seen from the outside. But a lot was going on inside the small and humble quarters of Srila Prabhupada. The groundwork for a worldwide movement was being laid.

All communication was done by letters. As more and more disciples joined, more and more letters went out every day. I usually spent two or three hours in Prabhupada’s room reading his mail to him, taking dictation of his replies, and then typing his letters on a portable non-electric typewriter. I would then place the stack of typed letters on his desk, he would read over them, occasionally adding something in his own handwriting, before signing and sealing the envelopes. I kept a very simple notebook of his initiated disciples, and usually carbon copies of the letters that I typed. I also kept carbon copies of the tapes that I transcribed for Chaitanya Charitamrita and Nectar of Devotion.

There was no database, no vedabase, and no recording of every lecture or conversation. So much information was transmitted during those first few years, yet little of it was actually recorded. I did finally get a big UHUR tape recorder, in late 1968, puchased by my Mother, so I began recording all his lectures and his morning bhajans.(These are now called the “vintage series”). But the cost of tapes prohibited our recording every single conversation as was done in later years.

Yet in those first couple of years, there is a wealth of information, of instructions, that Srila Prabhupada gave to his disciples. Much of this is in his written correspondence in the form of letters to his disciples.

For example, he gave elaborate instructions regarding Deity worship—not just to me, but to Srimati, Himavati, Arundhuti, Vishvadevi, and others. There are letters in this regard, but very little is on the vedabase.

Because of this lapse in understanding, that not all information is on the vedabase, important instructions are being lost or altered. For example, now the Deity worship has been reversed and is going on in many temples quite opposite from the way he taught. This is a tragic situation that will eventually erode the basis of the Deity worship in Iskcon. There are numerous instructive letters about Deity worship, as well as a number of conversations. In them, Srila Prabhupada specifically says that we must offer everything up through the disciplic succession, not ever directly to Krishna.

He also states in a recorded conversation that the “Hari Bhakti Vilas” is not necessary for us; it was written to pacify the smarta brahmins. He did not want to use “Hari Bhakti Vilas.” He said he wanted to keep things simple, because the Hari Nama Sankirtan is the most important religious practice in this age, not Deity worship, or elaborate temple functions. He stressed this many times. His plan was for us to go out into the streets, into the world, and spread this movement with the Holy Names and his books. He wanted a “world sankirtan party.” That began in late 1968.

However, at this time, when we were with him in 1967 and 1968, we had no books to distribute! The Bhagavad Gita was not yet printed. There were no books other than the three volumes of Srimad Bhagavatam that came from India on the Jaladhuta, and a few copies of the small booklet, “Easy Journey to Other Planets.”

But Srila Prabhupada was planning everything. Carefully. It is important to understand, and appreciate, that he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew exactly what he wanted to establish, and exactly how he wanted to do it. He even knew exactly how he wanted his Bhaktivedanta Book Trust set up, to protect his writings, though he had no explicit training in western copyright law. He told hiscs trust attorney, Marjorie Mize LeGaye, who was the mother of one his disciples, exactly how he wanted his book trust set up, in accurate detail. The attorney was amazed at his detailed understanding of trusts and copyright law. He knew everything he wanted to do every step of the way. Because he was in constant contact with Krishna. As he often said, “I have not written these books—Krishna has written these books!”

While living in Los Angeles in late 1967, Srila Prabhupada started the cover art for his Bhagavad Gita. He had me do an elaborate drawing of the Universal Form, complete with multiple arms and faces, and this was to be the cover picture of his Gita. He would stand over my desk and watch me work on the drawing, adding bits of advice and information. This was to be on the cover of his first MacMillan Gita, (the lavender one), this drawing of the universal form of Vishnu.

However, MacMillan reduced my drawing to one of a solitary Vishnu form, in black batik style. Similarly, for economic reasons, MacMillan cut out huge swaths of text that Prabhupada wanted in his Gita. The MacMillan editors complained of repetition, but Srila Prabhupada stressed that he wanted such repetition in his books. He said it is necessary for teaching purposes, for his students would learn by repetition. Still, MacMillan did not know how well the book would sell, so they wanted to keep production costs low. Fortunately, the lost text was again incorporated into his 1972 edition that he was later able to print without MacMillan’s edits. He was overjoyed with his completed Bhagavad Gita As It Is, and read from it daily. This Gita was his pride and joy! It marked his moment of success. He loved to sit and read it daily.

Later he would read his various books as they came off the press, and often comment, with amazement, “I did not write these books. Krishna wrote them.”

Up until 1969, not a lot was visible to the outside world, but a lot of planning and preparation was going on in our little apartment, whether we were in San Francisco, New York, Boston, Los Angeles, or Montreal. There were only a few temples, and a handful of very sincere disciples, who had dedicated their lives to helping our beloved “Swamiji” in whatever ways we could.

During our three months in Montreal in the summer of 1968, Srila Prabhupada began translating “Chaitanya Charitamrita” daily. Goursundar was now proficient enough in Bengali text, so he would work on the transliterations, while I typed the dictaphone tapes each day. Srila Prabhupada continued sending tapes of Srimad Bhagavatam to Satsvarupa Prabhu for transcription, and he would daily give me tapes of Chaitanya Charitamrita.

Later, while in Los Angeles in the winter of 1968, Hayagriva lived with us in our apartment, sleeping on our living room floor, and spending whole days working with Srila Prabhupada on the final polishing of his Bhagavad Gita As It Is, as well as “Srimad Bhagavatam”, “Nectar of Devotion”, and other manuscripts in progress.

While Hayagriva was sitting on the living room floor editing manuscripts, and going back and forth into Srila Prabhupada’s room to discuss various points with him, I was sitting at the dining room table transcribing “Nectar of Devotion” and “Chaitanya Charitamrita.” And that was after making breakfast, cleaning his room, typing his letters, and preparing his lunch! I rarely went on the morning walks because my mornings were very very busy!

Daily there was an ever increasing number of letters to respond to. I would usually sit in front of Srila Prabhupada’s desk for a minimum of two hours, sometimes three, taking dictation of letters to devotees. He was running the whole world of devotees from that little trunk-desk! (Never was there a time when the soul did not exist, but there WAS a time when the internet did not exist!)

The first Sankirtan party began in 1968, and traveled from Los Angeles to Seattle, where we lived for one month in September of 1968. So much was happening on the inside! But very little appeared to be happening on the outside, until suddenly, it all just exploded! The ISKCON JET took off right after Prabhupada’s Bhagavada Gita As It Is was published!

So in late 1969, the ISKCON JET took off! Hundreds of disciples flocked to Srila Prabhupada, dozens of temples were opened, George Harrison’s music spread the Holy Names on the airwaves, the London devotees went onstage, and the world of Hare Krishna began! Srila Prabhupada sent married couples to cities everywhere to open temples, and sankirtan parties sang the Holy Names on street corners in cities all over the world!

On January 4th of 1969, I tearfully bade farewell to my beloved master Srila Prabhupada, and at his request, I went to the Hawaiian Islands to open temples. After over two years of being with him almost continuously, it was very painful to leave. He told Goursundar and I, “Now we have become just like a little family, but you have to go and spread this movement of Lord Chaitanya. You go to Hawaii or to Florida, a warm place, as Govinda dasi’s health is very fragile.” Goursundar chose Hawaii.

About a year later, when we visited Srila Prabhupada in Los Angeles, the L.A. temple was already established. We also had centers established in Hawaii as well. It all took off just like a rocket. It was such a magical time! In Hawaii, we were only five disciples; as soon as we bought a 3 story house, within one month there were over thirty new devotees! Our Harinama parties were in downtown Honolulu every day, and in Waikiki every evening. It was an amazing time!

During our visit with Srila Prabhupada in Los Angeles, just about a year later, he laughingly said, “I pushed you out of the nest!” So now we could understand that all the “nest-time” was just training for getting us to fly out and spread his movement.

Just before returning to Hawaii, we met with Srila Prabhupada, and he said, with tears of compassion moistening his cheeks, “Go there and spread this movement of Lord Chaitanya to everyone in Hawaii. People are suffering in this material world, although they do not know it. Please, give them the mercy of Lord Chaitanya. Thank you very much!”

Now, over 50 years later, we are all still trying to “give them the mercy of Lord Chaitanya.” All of us, in our own individual way, are still serving the message of Lord Chaitanya and the compassionate request of Srila Prabhupada.

Each of us have a story to tell, a memory to share, or a realization that led to our long term commitment to serving Srila Prabhupada in this way. Even if it was only a quick glimpse of his compassion, or of his love, or his wisdom, or any of the other wonderful qualities he shared with us, it has inspired us for an entire lifetime.

I believe it is our duty to share such memories and realizations with others, and especially for those who will come later, who will come to further fulfill the mission of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Even a short interlude with Srila Prabhupada was life-changing. Now, as a part of this fiftieth anniversary, it is imperative that we all get everything done, for our remaining time in this world is short. And it is our part our “Thank you very much!” to Srila Prabhupada.