The epic Ramayana, the great heroic story of King Rama, returns again and again to the point of keeping one’s word – even though doing so seems to bring pain and heartbreak.
It starts with Rama’s father, the ruling King, being bound to a promise which results in the exile of his son Rama.
Rama, of course, honors his father’s word and leaves for the forest – even though the whole kingdom beseeches him to not do so. Bharat, Rama’s youngest brother was asked to rule in his stead. He refused to be called “King”. Instead he placed Rama’s shoes on the throne, and took a vow to live a life of austerity until Rama’s return. Which he did.
Our character is expressed in how we keep our word as much as the actual activity itself. Even in small things we need to be careful. We may say to our daughter, “I’ll be home at 6pm to read with you,” and we arrive home at 7. We may still read together, but if repeatedly done the hidden message she receives is that she is not so important; other people or activities come before her. Her level of trust diminishes.
Giving our word is a strong stance. Making a promise is a deep commitment, and taking a vow is serious. We shouldn’t take them unless we are sure we can keep them. A commitment extracts a price and we are bound to it. When we honor it we are protected, and we grow wise and deep within the lines we have drawn for ourselves. When we don’t we are blown about like a riven cloud, subjected to the whims of our mind and senses.
If one is in danger, then one can break his promise or go back on his word. Even Krishna did that on the battlefield when Arjuna was in danger of being vanquished. He told both parties he would not take up arms, but he did on one occasion, being driven by love for his devotee. Later He told Arjuna to ‘Declare it boldly, my devotee will never perish” (Gita, 9:31). Krishna thought someone may not trust Him after he broke His promise on the battlefield. Yet He wanted to make sure His statement was taken seriously. So he had Arjuna make the declaration since Arjuna was famous as a man of his word.
Keeping our word is the scaffolding upon which we build relationships. It is the bank account of trust into which we make deposits. It is our saving grace when times are dark and difficult – holding ourselves to our commitment is the light that will see us through. Give words, promises, and vows wisely and sparingly, and honor them carefully. It is what will be remembered about you when all else is long gone.
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