A therapist draws on Lord Krsna’s teachings to help a child control his rage.
THE HOSPITAL ROOM SMELLS strongly of antiseptic as I walk in. Chris sits on his bed, immersed in rapidly pushing buttons with his thumbs.
“Nintendo?” I ask nonchalantly, breaking his concentration.
“Play Station,” he replies, continuing to madly push buttons.
I sit in a chair next to his bed, observing his strategy for blowing things up.
After a couple of minutes, Chris slams the game paddle to the floor.
“I hate this game,” he snarls, with a few expletives thrown in.
Instinctively I reply, “Hmm, sounds like you’re really angry.”
My statement of the obvious sounds ludicrous to both of us. Chris ignores me. He covers his head with the bed sheet and mumbles to himself.
I feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say to draw him out. Chris is an eleven-year-old boy I’ve been working with in mental-health therapy for the past year. He has a history of explosive, raging outbursts. Recently he kicked a brick wall so hard he broke the femur in his right leg. Now he’s confined to a hospital bed with pins in his leg.
I make another feeble attempt to connect to him.
“Anger is a powerful feeling. Looks like we need to explore new ways for you to control it, rather than it control you.”
After enduring a few more minutes of silence, I decide to try a different approach.
” I brought you some cookies,” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
At this, he peers out from under the sheet and asks, “What kind?”
Relieved to hear some response, I reply “Peanut butter.”
He puts his hand out, and I place the cookies in it. Both he and the cookies disappear under the sheet. The muted sound of his munching fills the sterile room.
Losing Control
Since Chris and I began working on his anger, he has learned to identify things that trigger it. Getting teased at school makes him furious and inspired him to kick the brick wall. He has also learned to recognize that when he loses control, his fists and teeth clench and he feels flushed. He has developed a repertoire of positive ways to deal with his anger: walking away, positive self-talk, running around the block, visualizing a peaceful place. Despite this arsenal of anger-management skills, he still fails to control his anger in real-life situations.
Because I’m a long-time student of Bhagavad-gita, Chris’s problem reminds me of the verse in which Lord Krsna tells His friend and disciple Arjuna that anger comes from lust. People generally think of lust as sexual longing. But Lord Krsna’s definition of lust extends to any ungodly desire to gratify the senses.
Lord Krsna further explains that although the senses require a certain amount of satisfaction, unless regulated they become like wild horses, forcing one to obey their whims. Craving the objects of their satisfaction, the senses take control of the mind and intelligence, leading to frustration and anger when their impossible demands go unmet. From this anger, Krsna continues, delusion arises, and from delusion, bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, human intelligence is lost, leaving one in a hell of irrational behavior.
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