ISKCON Desire Tree - Devotee Network

Connecting Devotees Worldwide - In Service Of Srila Prabhupada

What happens if husbands tell to wives to do a job? (Article)

 

 

Should women do job?

In Srimad Bhagavatam Srila Prabhupada says that when women live in village environment eating proper dairy foods, milking cows, churning butter, carrying cow dung their bodies will become beautiful. Their bodies will develop nicely.

In Bhagavad Gita Krishna says that better everyone does his or her own duty even though badly rather than doing others’ duties perfectly.

Again in the 10th Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam Krishna personally explains the prescribed duties of women. He says that women’s duties are to love and serve her husband and second is to love his relatives.

So where is the question of women going out and doing job for money?

Women are mothers and wives. Happy wife is an inspiration for a husband. Caring mother is needed if couples want to have first class kids.

By simple being at home mother creates a feeling of safety in children. Whenever children come home they should see mother and be in her association. That will build their character.

Mother cooks. She cooks with love and desire to increase the life span of her beloved ones, and improve their health and after all wishing them to be happy in life. So that food if eaten daily children, husband and all other members of the home will be happy and satisfied with life.

She is a friend to a husband. Sometimes she is a mother to him; sometimes a daughter; sometimes a teacher… if husband keeps her satisfied and happy she can fulfill his all desires regarding emotional support; homely comforts; mental inspiration…

Man is considered successful if he has one of three things in life:

  • Wealth
  • Nice Education
  • Or a nice wife

And among all three one who has a nice wife is the most fortunate one.

What does it mean a nice wife?

By birth all girls are born with high qualities. For girls the greatest achievement is to remain as such where as for males is to struggle and achieve higher goals.

But women have all good qualities right from childhood. They have qualities like responsibility, purity, chastity, care taking, selfless service attitude, self sacrifice and many more.

What will happen if they go out for job?

Firstly, women should not worry about money and income. Such worries will put them into anxiety. Will make them more fearful in life; With such like worries for sure they won’t have nice, healthy kids what to speak of giving to them kind support.

Secondly, if they go out for job who will cook at home; as a result starting with husband everyone will have to eat food cooked by others and sold in the open markets like cafes or restaurants. That food which is cooked for money and with less care won’t satisfy the heart and here comes all sorts of diseases…

Even if she cooks food after her job food won’t be of good quality because her consciousness is not peaceful. Because in her job place she had so many problems, heard so many gossips, so many worries…

Physical tiredness: at least 3 days in a month women have big hormonal changes in the bodies. Those days they feel weak both mentally and physically; So doing job those days will again put them into more anxieties and destroy their good health.

Women tolerate pain of birth of a child. Man cannot tolerate this pain but woman can. Man cannot tolerate sleepless nights and loud cries of a child but women can.

Especially those boys who are not trained in brahmachari ashrams and never done any household duties like menial services of washing plates, clothes, keeping home clean, …never will understand that home needs really much endeavor to be kept as it is.

To be a housewife and a mother is a job which starts from 2 AM and ends maybe again at 2 AM. And plus it is unpaid job. Selfless job.

Does mother eat the best food? No, as I remember my mother used to eat food which we left out from last day. So she does it to save money of her husband but gives the best to others.

Does she wear the best clothes? No. My mother was satisfied with her 2-3 dresses but was always happy to buy new ones for us.

But since my mother did job and was out of home whole day long I grew up lacking her love. I needed her in the morning to wake up in her embrace and her kiss to my eyes.

I wanted her in afternoon to have food from her hands;

I wanted her evenings when I come from school at home again to embrace her, to talk to her, to assist her in her duties at home, and be kept to sleep by her;

But such thing never happened in my life. So this article was written with the intention that someday men will think of it. And let her wives perform their own duties of a good wife and mother. Take care of their emotional, financial, spiritual, physical needs and in this way keep them satisfied.

And satisfied women in the society are a sign of progress. When women are happy they serve to others happily. They give birth to perfect kids who are the future of society.

One more thing I wanted to add is that when women go out to do job they face difficulties with traveling, bad air, dirt around, carry heavy bags with lunch bag…so these things will make them sick.

Plus what to speak of lusty glances of dirty eyes? With dirty desires? By my personal example I can say that such like glances make me very angry; sometimes I want to cry. But what to do it is my fate and it is the present situation which I am not able to change. But at least can write this article so that some men read it and think of it.

Thank You for Your time and attention!

Your servant, 

Views: 1377

Comment

Hare Krishna! You need to be a member of ISKCON Desire Tree - Devotee Network to add comments!

Join ISKCON Desire Tree - Devotee Network

Comment by Biraj Talukder on September 6, 2018 at 11:42am
I'm very thankful to you, for this realistic article.

Volunteer
Comment by Maral Alymova on August 13, 2014 at 3:50pm

it is not like wife should be dull, fool with no skills. 

No she can learn cooking, learn languages, learn other things....why not?

So she can become a teacher at schools, a cook, translator, ....

Where as in perfect society if husband dies other seniors take care of widowed woman and her kids.

As like it was in the case of Kunti Devi and her kids. 


Volunteer
Comment by Maral Alymova on August 13, 2014 at 3:47pm

Yes, if something happens with husband then life will be tuft.

In Vedic culture both girls and boys were given equal education. They both used to learn 64 arts. 

But women were mostly busy with household works and taking care of kids and men with outside world.

If whatever husband is earning is not enough then woman also can work. My mother worked she still works. as a result we - 4 kids never ate home food, never were given proper motherly love. Husband never was satisfied not finding her at home but always at her job. 

Since she was a doctor sometimes she had to leave home even at mid nights if there were some serious patients.

So like this.

In the reality Srila Prabhupada says that human should not work like an ass. If they have some land they can grow their food. So there won't be need for traveling many kms a day there and back just for working in some factories and making money for a peace of bread.

 So we have to find ways of how we can save time for our devotional life being satisfied with whatever minimum we have and we are getting.

Again: women should learn skills according to their nature and can do job for emergency sake. We are not saying that if they work it is bad for them.

It maybe ok. But out of my personal example i can say that i always wanted my mother aside not money when i was a kid. 

Your servant, 

Comment by sunil ghoorbin on August 12, 2014 at 4:40pm

hare krishna mataji

am sorry may me u didnt pay attention to my post i had certain question for u that had remained unanswered.

i repeat my question what happen  to the submissive housewife if the husband dies, how will she carry on her life with her small kids in an expensive life?

if i adopt your philosophy that  a wife should sit at home who will feed the kids and the widdow?

she will need to marry again?

please do reply these simple question after u jump to other topic please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Sri Bhagwan Das on July 24, 2014 at 10:23am

Hare Krishna, Mataji

PAMHO, AGTSP,

I fully agree with views expressed in your article. Today most of the person are after money for getting higher comforts and don't believe in rebirth. Some quotes are given in hindi along with references and can be gone through in english edition of Srimad Bhagvatam.

यदि लोग यह जान भी लें कि किस तरह सुख प्राप्त किया जाता है और किस तरह दुख से बचा जाता है, तो भी वे उस विधि को नहीं जानते जिससे मृत्यु उनके ऊपर अपनी शक्ति का प्रभाव न डाल सके (SB.11.10.19)|उस भौतिक शरीर का क्या लाभ जो जीवन के अंत में अपने स्वामी को छोड़ देता है? परिवार के उन सभी सदस्यों से क्या लाभ जो वास्तव में उस धन का अपहरण कर लेते हैं, जो भगवान की सेवा में उपयोगी हो सकता है ? उस पत्नी से भी क्या लाभ जो भौतिक दशाओं को बढाने की श्रोत मात्र है? उस घर, परिवार, देश, तथा जाति से भी क्या लाभ जिसमे आसक्त होने से सारे जीवन का विनाश हो जाता है (SB.8.22.9) |

Dandavat,

your servant

Comment by Anuradha on July 14, 2014 at 4:10pm

thank you mata ji for the very nice article...:)


Volunteer
Comment by Maral Alymova on June 11, 2014 at 12:58pm

my humble obeisances Prabhu, 

Your wife can help You for example, by cooking Prasadam and distributing them, no?! Or making bead bags or some other Vaishnava attributes if she is not finding a job.

Let she be creative.

For example, i know some ladies who cook beautiful cakes and give them to restaurants.

Or she can try some jobs from home.

Again, if she is not finding a job. And if You really need a help from her.

Usually women develop desire to work and to have their own money because they feel force from the side of a husband. And when they start to earn it is very easy to them not to be so submissive to a husband.

If You want that then it is ok, tell her to work out.

Many messages i receive from young Matajis that they were abused in their job places by men. So this way or other it may happen any time when women are out for their jobs. If You want to give such un safety to Your wife then please, i do not have any words.

Personally i would not marry to a person who wants money from me. What is the use of another burden in life?

Plus to be submissive? Women usually get married because it is the easiest way of their maintenance.

Srila Prabhupada told that women cannot fight for survival. Because of that it is better for them to get married and assist a person - a man to work out. She helps him doing menial services at home by cooking, washing, home \, children ...and getting strength he goes out for a job.

He is strong to face risky situations etc. She is not.

And yes only fortunate women get such husbands who will be bold and do everything he can and let wife do her own duties.

It is her service to society by supporting husband and bringing up healthy children.

It is true, my mother also worked whole life even now she is doing so. She is helping to so many people by her medical knowledge. But the problem is our childhood was miserable.

We had money but not loving soft heart mother.

So as a result i tried many attempts to leave home...as a result by the grace of Krishna i came in contact with Srila Prabhupada in his purports in Bhagavad Gita.

As a result many other problems started....huge family got separated just because of dissatisfaction in life.

 If i could make money i better preferred to stay alone. Why to take so much burden of family life, false ego of a husband?

No use. If that husband does not want to perform his duties properly.

We may say that money is not enough, then shift to another place where You can save money.

Or for some time both of You work hard together maybe in some other developed countries and make nice money and open up Your own business. So that You won't work like an ass.

And to let Your wife later be engaged with her own duties.

I pray You will understand my bold answer correctly. It is not for making You sad but it is what i understand and know.

Your servant,  

Comment by sunil ghoorbin on June 11, 2014 at 1:02am
hare krishna mataji,
                                                               thank u for replying but i wont go to ancient time for examples, i myself am an example. my mother went to work but she didn't lack to do my upbringing. i do not smoke nor take intoxication i follow my religious duties perfectly and its just her grace i got to know Krishna conscious.
the examples you cited is good but just for lectures. i that i don't compelled my wife to work my salary will be enough to run a house, but not enough to give my children a good future. my wife is a degree holder B.A Hindi hons. still she is jobless, because there is no vacancy even for a receptionist. and its my wife's dream and its her parents dream that she take a job someday see their hard work bear fruit.
bringing a child up to this level is a work of dedication n hard work, its not a joke. 
you mentioned king harishcandra and his hardship, so let me tell u king harishchandra came popular only after his fall down from the kingdom and when he started to suffer then all knew him. just tell me one person in iskcon who want voluntarily be like king harishchandra?
you go round the world am 100% sure there will be no one! so why to use such examples!
am talking about facts and actuality not of ancient time, then the time place and circumtances where different , even lord krishna talk take avatar and give instructions due to time place and circumstances. lord jesus christ, prophet mohamed all taught according to time place and circumstances this is in SSR go and read it. so why not women work to help husband. if i take your proposition seriously then husband should not do any household chores, in that situation if the wife is bed ridden who will look after the children and cook or wash clothes???
should the husband look for another wife who will do her duties????
and if the husband dies should the wife look for another husband?
what will happen if a wife married twice or even thrice and all her husband are dead???
anything can happen its material world here karma is heavy!
at last what she will be called ?
will she remain a wife or an indecent woman??
 
please mataji its a fact that history is good for examples but where it needed even rules can change for the betterment of a person or a whole society. 
even srila  prabhupad ate onions based cooked food in a guest house just to keep good relation for the good bringing of iskcon. here rules changed, so why not can woman work?
will wait for your reply hare krishna good luck.

Volunteer
Comment by Maral Alymova on June 10, 2014 at 2:25pm

My humble obeisances dear Sunil Prabhu, 

Thank You for writing Your opinion!

Kolavecha Shridhar lived in Kali Yuga. He was a grihastha. But very poor, but still he did not tell his wife to go for earning money.

Bhaktivinod Thakur,

and many more.

King Harishchandra did service even to a dog eater when it came to maintaining his wife and son with food.

He did not tell her wife to do job but he himself worked whole day and night to maintain them. Why?

Because it is his duty.

So if husband should work in 3 jobs he has to do that but do his duties properly.

Also wife should be satisfied with what is husband earning. If she is not satisfied then by her own wish she can do job if husband permits. But her money belongs to her husband. She cannot use it independently.

But she can do that ONLY if she wants extra money. Otherwise husband should do his duties.

True poverty may be there, but if they want to bring out nice kids then each of them should do their own duties.

But true some times society does not care much of people. So this joblessness etc will makes wive to go out for earning. But mostly preferable is if mother is at home.

If they do not want children to be perfectly developed then it is ok to send them to kinder garden starting from 2-3 of ages.

If true in my childhood i used to hate to go to kinder garden but since i was an obedient child i had to swallow my tears at the gate of kinder garden while i had to be separated with my mother or father.

So if possible mother can make home schooling and save lots of husband's money.

Or else do 2-3 hours job not more.

Your servant,  

Comment by sunil ghoorbin on June 9, 2014 at 6:17am

hare krishna mataji,

                              i agree with u only when it applies to ancient times, but now the world has changed and even the shatras says everything keeps changing nothing remains as it is fir ever. even our body keeps changing from childhood to youth from youth to old age and from old age to death and again a new body.

here is the change in body which bhagavad gita explain and prabhupada said the whole world do change.

why then women should remain at home if they are eligible to work and help to improve the society.

if this is the fact no women should go to any temple and do service this is also like a job, a divine one.

ladies going early morning in mangal services and sanya arati at nine in evening.

you mentioned travelling makes women sick carrying heavy lunch boxes, bad air and dirt.

i hope u do travel when going to any temple or any lady must travel no one can stay at home permanently.

carrying heavy bags with lunch boxes makes sick

there is a need to carry bag to work, there is a need there it will be your duty, its also karma.

do your duty perfectly than doing others.

there is no need to carry heavy lunch box if you be a little realistic. two breads and a little subji how much heavy it will be?  not more than 1/2 pound.

i had done all these things for my mother and am very proud that she worked and helped my father in bringing up my brothers and me. she is 64 and healthy still helping me in gardening at home. many women of her age are hospitalised due to lack of movement and activities in their early youth.

i had seen devotees grihatha life shattered whilst following such rules that wife must stay at home and look after children only.

a devotee family, husband,wife and baby.

the husband very strict devotee, tells wife not to work.

he brings food at home, 

morning wake up early have breakfast get ready for office then return home , bath and out for house program. nearly all salary spend in hare krishna programs. then hsband comes late at night and sleep.

now the role of the wife wake up early in morning to serve the husband with all needs to arati worship and coking for breakfast and lunch for husb.

after husb gone she start with house work looking after the little baby all day giving milk bath and all. then 

husnb return again serve him with all needs whilst looking after baby .

at night husb in progrm wife keep with baby all night nearly awake whole night. so on 

she got fed up by the routine life. and broke up.

this is in summary the whole story is too long.

her in mauritius if a wife dont work the  husband must do 3 jobs to lead a normal life and being a devotee cost much. 

if women dont work what the need of thier being educated? if we follow what u say strictly we will go back to the period where women had been ill treated and banned from education before the comming of swami dayanada and mahatma gandhi. and again attrocities on women will rise.

if you follow a bit of actuality you will see how two teenagers have been raped and hanged in india up.

their family background, they are deprive from good education and religious duties as they are out caste.

i boldly say women should work and help her husband in running the house.and a husband should help his wife in his household work.

what ll happen if a husband get paralysed and the wife is job less?

what will happen if a wife is sick bed ridden?

wont the wife find a job to run the household life?

what will happen if a couple have 2 kids and the husband dies, will she look for a husband to look after her or better she look after a job at early stage and if anything bad happens she is capable to uphold the family!!!

think about facts that is around us all. anything can happen at any time.

your article is not genuine. 

you also wrote about lusty glances, its very easy, its all in your mind.

change your view others will change also. dont think they are looking at you with lust. nothing will happen and in temples also we had many cases. men in temples also can have lusty glances. you wont be able to know whats in every men's mind whlist talking to you at work or at temple.

so please change the topic that make a family weak in reality.

these rules were good in sat, treta and dwapar yuga not in kali yug.

hope you will read my comment and if you dont agree anyone can e mail me their arguments. 

hare krishna.

Receive Daily Nectar

Online Statistics

Addon Services

For more details:
Click here 


Back to Godhead Magazine !

For more details:
English | Hindi

© 2019   Created by ISKCON desire tree network.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service