Blog

Glory to the ever merciful Shri Chaitanya.

 O my listeners, as soon as Shrinivasa entered Khardaha, he became ecstatic in love and began to dance. Viracandra Prabhu who had been sitting near his mother, began to tremble suddenly. Thakurani said, "Be careful, most probably some great Bhagavata has come to our place. I think surely Shrinivasa of Cakandi is the cause of your trembling. The people are also shouting the name of Radha Krishna. Now I can remember the order of my Prabhu. Now my son, enquire about the matter being very careful. If he is Shrinivasa, bring him to me to cool my heart."

In the meantime Isana came to meet her and said, "A beautiful boy is waiting outside and he is crying." She at once ordered her son to bring him in. Viracandra came out of the house and noticed the divine beauty of the boy. He at once embraced Shrinivasa because he could recognise him as Shrinivasa. Shrinivasa fell at his feet and Viracandra lifted him affectionately. He asked his name and Shrinivasa gave his identity. Viracandra said, "You are the most welcome friend. Providence is ever merciful to help me to get a jewel like you." He took Shrinivasa inside the house where Shri Isvariji was waiting for them with an eager heart. Looking at the boy she became ecstatic in love. She began to cry saying the names of Chaitanya Nityananda. She heaved a sigh of relieve when she uttered the name Navadvipa. Viracandra while holding the hand of Shrinivasa told his mother to give Shrinivasa the permission to go to Vrndavana. Shri Jahnava said, "Go to Vrndavana as soon as possible and seek the feet of Rupa, otherwise you will not get their darshan. Go to Vrndavana without delay and take refuge at the feet of Gopala Bhatta." She ordered someone to give some food to Shrinivasa and told Viracandra to write a letter to Abhirama and give it to Isana to deliver to Abhirama. She suggested to Abhirama in the letter to whip Shrinivasa thrice, it was a riddle which the others could not understand. Viracandra offered the leftovers of Isvari's food to Shrinivasa which made him ecstatic in love. Shrinivasa completely forgot his own identity. Vira held his hands the touch of which brought back his senses. Viracandra advised Shrinivasa to go to Vrndavana otherwise he would miss Shri Rupa. After bowing at his feet Isana told Abhirama that Isvari had ordered Abhirama to empower the boy with love. Abhirama was very glad to see Shrinivasa, he offered a seat to Isana and became very glad to know that Isvari had suggested to him to whip Shrinivasa. He thought that he would test the boy by giving him eight kadis (ancient pice). He would tell the boy to spend the pice and from this he would see how apathetic he was. Then he would whip him. When Shrinivasa got the kadis he began to think as to what he would do them. He then decided to buy some rice and green bananas. Then he cooked it while sitting on the bank of the river. Thakura Abhirama told two Vaishnavas to become guests to Shrinivasa at the time of his eating. They obeyed Abhirama and went to Shrinivasa just when he was offering the food to Krishna and then water for washing the mouth. They asked Shrinivasa for some food and he became very glad to get the chance of serving Vaishnavas. He distributed all the rice in three plates and then requested the Vaishnavas to start eating the prasadam. They were greatly satisfied and reported to Abhirama that without any side dish they found the rice as tasty as nectar. Abhirama was so glad that he ordered Isana to bring Shrinivasa to him. He brought a whip and kept by his left side. When Shrinivasa came and bowed at the feet of Abhirama, Gosvami whipped Shrinivasa thrice with his own hand. Malini, the wife of Abhirama came into the room and caught the hands of Abhirama, she told him, "Stop whipping the boy for he has become full of love, this brahmin boy has the spirit of Chaitanya." She took Shrinivasa affectionately into the room and looked after him with utmost care. Shrinivasa spent that night there in peace. Next morning Abhirama told Shrinivasa, "Go to Vrndavana quickly and seek the feet of Gopala Bhatta. There you can meet ascetics like Sanatana, Rupa, Lokenath and Raghunatha. Chaitanya will enable you to do everything. Narahari has been waiting for you eagerly. After meeting him go to Vrndavana." Shrinivasa began to cry at the time of his leaving and to express his inability to do anything good. Abhirama told him, "You do not know yourself you are spirit of Prabhu himself. Prabhu will help you in all your efforts of propagating love in the world. Go to Vrndavana withoug delay. I am also giving you some grace no one will do any harm to you on the way." Shrinivasa became very glad and took his leave. He reached the place of Narahari who advised him to start for Vrndavana early. Narahari ordered him to take permission of his mother. In the evening Shrinivasa went to his house and bowed at the feet of his mother. He told her everything about going to Vrndavana and it broke her heart. She did not want to part with her son who was her only resort. She in many ways forbade Shrinivasa to go to Vrndavana but Shrinivasa consoled his mother and repeatedly requested her to give him permission. That night he could not sleep and late in the night he had a dream. He dreamt he got the hope of starting for Vrndavana.

In Vrndavana at night, Shri Rupa became very anxious for Shrinivasa. He became very depressed. Actually the disappearance of Sanatana had created the weakness in Rupa. In the morning Shri Rupa went to visit the tomb of Sanatana. There he began to sob the name of Shrinivasa. From there he went to Shri Jiva and others who had been living on the banks of the Jamuna. They all bowed at the feet of Shri Rupa who told them, "You are looking very happy but I do not know as to why Shrinivasa is late in coming here. I know that he has started for Vrndavana but why is he late? He has taken his birth in a brahmin family as an embodiment of love. It is important that he comes early. You are all so apathetic that you do not want to go to Gauda. I am afraid that I will meet him. Rupa then holding the hand of Shri Jiva said, "O Jiva, listen to me, Shrinivasa has started from Jajigrama last night. You should be very careful for his arrival." He had been running all the way in repentance of Chaitanya, Rupa, Sanatana and Bhatta Raghunatha. The fear of not seeing them kept coming to his mind. In this way he reached Gadidvara and from there Patna. He used to fast for some days and used to eat a little. On the second day he reached Varanasi and went to the bank of the Ganges. He visited the ghata of the river where Prabhu Chaitanya had once taken his bath. Shrinivasa bowed his head to the ghata. There was the house of Candra Sekhara on the eastern side. On the western wing of his house was the place where Sanatana in the guise of a darvesa used to wait for getting the darshana of Prabhu. There was a tulasi tree where Shrinivasa paid his homage. Then he entered into the house of and met an aged Vaishnava. He bowed at his feet and the Vaishnava embraced Shrinivasa and asked his name. Shrinivasa gave his name and the Vaishnava became very happy and informed Shrinivasa that he was the disciple of Shri Candra Sekhara Acarya by whose wish he was staying there. He showed Shrinivasa the seat of Mahaprabhu and said he was staying there to look after everything. He began to lament for his ill fate and became unconscious. Shrinivasa with utmost care helped him to come to his senses. They spent the night in discussing about Mahaprabhu.

In the morning Shrinivasa took his leave and reached Prayaga. He took his bath in Triveni and stayed there for the day. After that, he started his journey. On the way a pious person gave him four paise and Shrinivasa lived on that paise for two days. The tiring journey was bad for his health and he began to ask the passerbys how far was it to Vrndavana. He came to know that still had four days to cover before he reached Vrndavana. On another day, he used to took his bath in a well and lay down under a tree being very tired. In the meantime five Vaishnavas from Vrndavana came to that place and found Shrinivasa very tired. They gave some dried peas and gur (some sort of sweet) in the cloth of Shrinivasa. Shrinivasa drank some water after eating it and his tiredness was gone. Then they began to chant happily. Shrinivasa asked them about Vrndavana and they reported that in Vrndavana lived Rupa, Sanatana, Gopala Bhatta, Lokenatha Gosvami, Bhugarva and Shri Jiva. They also reported the disappearance of Sanatana which made Shrinivasa very sad. He took his leave of them and started on his journey. He then reached Agra. From there he went to Gokula and after crossing the river Jamuna he reached the house of Nanda. In the morning he came to Mathura, the birth place of Krishna. He visited other holy places too. Observing the beauty of Mathura, he began to think of Vaikuntha as told by the scriptures. All the people were in a merry mood there. Then he visited the Visrama Ghata of Krishna. He observed, touched and wet his head in its water. He sat there facing the east. In the meantime he saw three Vraja people passing by his side and talking about the disappearances of Sanatana, then Raghunatha Bhatta and recently Rupa Gosvami. On hearing the news, Shrinivasa asked them with folded hands what they were talking about. They told him, "O my brother, what can we say? Vrndavana is now empty, we are unfortunate we did not die before all these happenings. We cannot bear the separation of Shri Rupa." At once Shrinivasa got up and started his journey lamenting on his way. "O Providence, I cannot accuse you, my eyes are full of tears, how can I walk? My ill fate has drowned me in the ocean of misery." Lamenting in this way, Shrinivasa kept on crying while walking aimlessly on the streets. He then decided to return home. On his way he sat under a tree. How can I describe the miserable condition of Shrinivasa? It is only with my Guru's favor that I am describing this.