My Heartfelt Effusion Chapter One and Two

My Heartfelt Effusion Chapter One and Two

My Heartfelt Effusion

By Jagannath Das

A.K.A. Jack Matthew Anderson



I will now take a moment to express the fact that no one, I mean no one, should ever read anything I write or hear anything I say unless and until they have read every single one of Prabhupada's books and heard every lecture ever given. How dare I write about Krishna Katha in such a fallen state? Please forgive my arrogance, thinking that I know anything about Srimad Bhagavatam. I am fool number one! However, What choice do I have? Either I write about Srimad Bhagavatam, Glorify Devotees, and Chant Hare Krishna, or I engage in mundane nonsense? So, I will persevere in my feeble attempts to Worship Krishna! In case you are unaware I am writing a book about My Krishna! Not that I need money, Krishna has all wealth and provides for me so nicely. This book will be beautiful since Krishna is all  beauty, although I am ugly. What I lack in strength, Krishna makes up for. I am uneducated. All knowledge comes from Krishna. There is no need for me to be famous since Krishna is all famous. Renunciation? Krishna is all Renunciation. I simply write to please My Krishna.



Good Evening,


I have been bed bound most of the day unable to move. Severe chest pain and general bad health. Despite all these calamities it's Srimad-Bhagavatam time. Throughout my life I have vituperatively wasted precious time in capala-sukha or flickering happiness. My early years were dominant in behaving as an impertinent ingrate. After having the undeserved chance to come in contact with a devotee and being introduced to Bhagavad Gita, I started a path to imbibe all the text that I could. I read for the delectation of wisdom obtained Yet, I again continued living profligacy in an ephemeral attempt at material success. So many perfidious plans and schemes. Again and again I failed to amalgamate what I know with how I lived. Experiencing profound hardship due to my maladroit activity lead me to sagaciously change my course of action. This included aiming towards amelioration, a genuflection to the Supreme. This action had an efficacious effect leading to a rectitude of my thinking. I started to abandon any ostentatious display now knowing just how fallen I actually am. I am as useless as a flower with no scent. My only wish is to fall on a walking path in Vrindavan and be crushed by Krishna's Beautiful Lotus Feet.


In case I knowing or unknowingly committed any offense with my comments I pray to Sri Advaita, Sri Nityananda, Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Sri Gadadhara, Sri Srivasa for forgiveness. I wish to take part in Lord Caitanya's Sankirtan Movement. I need someone to beat my mind with shoes in the morning and beat my mind with broomsticks at night. I pray that Krishna empties my mind So that Great Devotees Like  you can Fill it with Krishna Katha Krishna Prema. My repeated emails are a result of knowing at least a little about the truth. I have enough self awareness to understand how Great of a Devotee YOU are. So, I cry for mercy knowing that Krishna accepts the recommendations of his Devotees. So, I email you, offer respect, ask for guidance, win your approval, then and only then will I be successful. He who brought the treasure of divine love and who was filled with compassion and mercy--where has such a personality as Advaita Acarya gone? Where are my Svardpa Damodara and Rupa Gosvami? Where is Sanatana? Where is Raghunatha Dasa, the savior of the fallen? Where are my Raghunatha Bhatta and Gopala Bhatta, and where is Krsnadasa Kaviraja? Where did Lord Gauranga, the great dancer, suddenly go? I will smash my Head against the rock and enter into the fire. Where will I find Lord Gauranga, the reservoir of all wonderful qualities? Being unable to obtain the association of Lord Gauranga accompanied by all of these devotees in whose association He performed His pastimes, Narottama Dasa simply weeps.


My current position is less than sudra and lower than a blade of grass. I live in Knoxville, Tennessee and I do e-mail some pretty high ranking pure Devotees. However, in such a fallen condition everything I do falls short. I am thinking that  the more Devotees I have contact with the better off I am. Actually, If one speaks what was said from bonafide  sources then I will accept. I first came into contact with a Devotee around 1992 and I at least know the basics. But I need more. I shaved my head and hear Kirtan everyday. Now I wish to go even higher. So also I am aware of my misunderstandings and polluted mind. That is why I ask you forgiveness regardless of the situation. Knowing that only by the mercy of Devotees do I even stand a chance of avoiding Hellfire. Right in the middle of Kirtan my stomach says, "Feed me!" and the bladdersays, "Empty me!" To hell with this needy body! So much maintenance just to live. This is such a hellish condition. I need a maintenance free body! Sometimes one might shave their head and eat only vegetables and even stop gambling. Great, but so what! Those are meaningless actions. But one might say, " I am trying to get Gods attention!" O.K. Now your actions have meaning! Now I want to know more! So, how do actions result in Karma? Intent is the key? Criminals in prison find God? How convenient. If prison leads to God then why am I free? Forget blessings and curses. I care for neither. Nor do I care about happiness or distress, both of which pass like the changing of winter and summer seasons.  One might go to Church on Easter Sunday as a token gesture to religion and I am guilty. At the same time even a small one time attempt at religion is so great. I can't help but feel extremely merciful to all.


My Heartfelt Effusion Chapter One


It is now 1:30 a.m. and I am still listening to Kirtan. I watch zero television, no radio and sometimes World News which disgusts me to the point of nausea. No, I still have not slept since yesterday. So for 12 hours I have read Srimad Bhagavatam and listened to Kirtan and maybe writing my thoughts down will help me to sleep. I am trying to reach the stage of Anartha Nivritti, removal of undesirable substances from the heart and consciousness. Everyone acts according to one’s purpose or aim. One acts either to obtain desirable objects or to reject undesirable ones. This is Prayojana or simple one's purpose. I have decided to distribute Prabhupada books. This makes me strive to be properly prepared for such an endeavor. I must boil down the milk, making it thick and sweet. Sarasvati Thakura once explained the five limbs of bhakti with the second being Bhagavata-sravaha-hearing Srimad Bhdgavatam which itself declares sri-nama bhajana to be the highest virtue. In its beginning, middle (sixth canto, Ajamila story), and end, the Srimad Bhagavatam repeatedly stresses the efficacy of sri-nama bhajana. I am making a daily effort at this. O.K. Now that I have  cleared my mind. I will now take a rest. It's 5:45 a.m. and I am still awake. Listening to Kirtan and doing research. Summum Bonum is a Latin expression meaning the highest or ultimate good. From SB 2.10.7 The original source of all energies, or the summum bonum, is the Absolute Truth, which is called Parambrahma, etc., and Bhagavān is the last word of the Absolute Truth. In the west it can be seen as the state in which an agent experiences happiness in proportion to their virtue. It can be traced back to the Roman Empire to a writer named Marcus Tullius Cicero who was beheaded by Mark Antony.


It is now 10:30 a.m. and my research has begun. I would like to ask for understanding the following:


ŚB 2.10.8


The individual person possessing different instruments of senses is called the adhyātmic person, and the individual controlling deity of the senses is called adhidaivic. The embodiment seen on the eyeballs is called the adhibhautic person.


ŚB 2.10.13


As such, before the creation or manifestation of the material cosmic world, the Lord exists as total energy (mahā-samaṣṭi), and thus desiring Himself to be diffused to many, He expands Himself further into multitotal energy (samaṣṭi). From the multitotal energy He further expands Himself into individuals in three dimensions, namely adhyātmic, adhidaivic and adhibhautic, as explained before (vyaṣṭi). As such, the whole creation and the creative energies are nondifferent and different simultaneously. Because everything is an emanation from Him (the Mahā-Viṣṇu or Mahā-samaṣṭi), nothing of the cosmic energies is different from Him; but all such expanded energies have specific functions and display as designed by the Lord, and therefore they are simultaneously different from the Lord. The living entities are also similar energy (marginal potency) of the Lord, and thus they are simultaneously one with and different from Him.


Does this mean Krishna is in the Sunlight?  


It is 2 a.m. and I am listening to "The Only Way to Peace of Mind" by Srila Prabhupada (SB 3.26.21) Bombay, December 30, 1974. Prabhupada say that no one wants distress but it will come. Then why shall I try for happiness? It will also come. So why shall I waste my time for this material distress and happiness? Actually there is no happiness in the material world. Srimad Bhagavatam 7.4.9-12 It appears that even in the higher planetary systems, to which people are promoted by pious activities, disturbances are created by asuras like Hiranyakasipu. No one in the three worlds can live in peace and prosperity without disturbance.


In my own life while hearing and chanting Kirtan I can do my daily chores very peacefully and happy. One hour, two hours, five hours and so on. When I stop then trouble comes. Then my polluted mind starts scheming and planning for future endeavors. "Oh, I need more money and this and that." Even though my bills are paid and I eat at least once a day. Just how polluted I am! First Protect Your Soul by Srila Prabhupada (SB 01.05.09-11) on June 6, 1969, New Vrndavana. Prabhupada talks about Without taking care of the atma, you are losing yourself. So this is my endeavor and my struggle, to simply surrender and abandon all forms of religion without fear. BG 18.66 Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.


In my past, present and future I also have made the same mistake Arjuna made in front of Krishna. Laughing and joking with Devotees thinking myself worthy of their company. Forgetting my true position as merely their servant in desperate need of undeserved Mercy. I shake thinking I might have offended such Great Souls.   


BG 11.41-42   


Thinking of You as my friend, I have rashly addressed You “O Kṛṣṇa,” “O Yādava,” “O my friend,” not knowing Your glories. Please forgive whatever I may have done in madness or in love. I have dishonored You many times, jesting as we relaxed, lay on the same bed, or sat or ate together, sometimes alone and sometimes in front of many friends. O infallible one, please excuse me for all those offenses.


It is now 7 a.m. and I just finished Prabhupada Srimad Bhagavatam 1.8.24 lecture in Los Angeles April 16, 1973 My dear Krishna, Your Lordship has protected us from a poisoned cake, from a great fire, from cannibals, from the vicious assembly, from sufferings during our exile in the forest and from the battle where great generals fought. And now You have saved us from the weapon of Aśvatthāmā.   


Draupadī tried to save herself and was failing. So many men present yet no one protested She was in front of asat-sabhāyāḥ "assembly of uncultured men." Sat means gentle, and asat means rude. She was outnumbered and overpowered. It was only after She simply got up her arms and prayed, "Krishna, if You like, You can save."


I can not confirm this but once I was told Krishna cut his finger and was bleeding. Draupadi tore a few inches off her expensive sari to wrap up Krisna's finger. Because she gave Krishna a few inches of cloth Krishna gave her unlimited cloth. I have no way to confirm this.


I am very fond of chanting and singing Sri Krishna Govinda Hare Murare Hey Natha Narayana Vasudeva! Srimad Bhagavatam 2.10.11 That Supreme Person is not impersonal and therefore is distinctively a nara, or person. Therefore the transcendental water created from the Supreme Nara is known as nāra. And because He lies down on that water, He is known as Nārāyaṇa.   


It is now 10 a.m. and I keep running across Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura commenting on Srimad Bhagavatam. He is referenced more than ten times in numerous writings by Prabhupada. So, Who is he? Viśvanātha Cakravarti Ṭhākura; c. 1626 – c. 1708) was a Gaudiya Vaishnava acharya born in the village of Devagram, which is now in the Nadia district of West Bengal, India. His initiating guru was Sriyuta Krsnacarana Cakravarti of Saiyadabad, Murshidabad, who was fourth in the line from Narottama Dasa. He wrote several books including Prema-samputa.


So I went searching and found a copy in English. This following is a brief story mostly in my own words. Once Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura won a debate against many learned scholars. These scholars resolved to kill him out of envy. One morning while Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura was circumambulating Sri Vrndävana the scholars hid waiting for him. When they saw him he suddenly disappeared, and in his place, a beautiful young girl of Vraja appeared, picking flowers with some of her friends. They asked the girl where did  Viśvanātha Cakravarti Ṭhākura go? She did not know. She replied, “I am a maidservant of Srimati Radhika. She is presently at Her in-laws’ house at Yavata, and She sent me here to pick flowers.” Having spoken thus, the girl disappeared, and in her place the scholars saw Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura once again. They fell at his feet and prayed for forgiveness, and he forgave them all. There are many such astonishing occurrences in the life of Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura!  


It is now 1:30 p.m. and I ran across this most powerful insight. What Mercy is this? This is mind blowing! If people are not chanting and dancing in Lord Caitanya’s Sankirtan movement, they have simply not understood the philosophy. I must commit this to memory.


Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 1.8.22

April 14, 1973

Los Angeles


And Krishna describes Himself in the Bhagavad-gītā, raso 'ham apsu kaunteya [Bg. 7.8] = "I am the taste of the liquid." So Krishna can be remembered by tasting water. Even those who are drinking... If he thinks that "This taste of drinking is Krishna," he will one day come out a great saintly person. Such a nice thing, Krishna consciousness, if you have cultivated Krishna consciousness, if you follow the description given by the śāstras...


So I can request even the drunkards that "You can become Krishna conscious." The drunkard. What to speak of others? Because Krishna says, raso 'ham apsu kaunteya: "I am the taste of the liquid." Generally, liquid, water is taken. So liquor is also liquid. Liquor is bad, because it creates intoxication. Otherwise, it is made from sugar, molasses---molasses with sulphuric acid fermented, so far I know. We were in the chemical line. Molasses fermented with sulphuric acid and then distilled. That is called spirit, or liquor. So thing is, nothing is bad, but because if a thing creates bad effect, then it is bad. Then it is bad.


So I shall request even the drunkards---in your country, there are many drunkards; there is no scarcity---so if you'll kindly remember when drinking wine that "This nice taste of wine is Krishna..." Just begin with it. You'll come out one day a saintly person, Krishna conscious. [laughter] It's so nice, practical.  


Jagai and Madhai were two brothers born in Navadvipa in a respectable brahmana family who later became addicted to all kinds of sinful activities. By the order of Lord Caitanya, both Nityananda Prabhu and Haridasa Thakura used to preach the cult of Krsna consciousness door to door. In the course of such preaching they found Jagai and Madhai, two maddened drunken brothers, who, upon seeing them, began to chase them. On the next day, Madhai struck Nityananda Prabhu on the head with a piece of earthen pot, thus drawing blood. When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu heard of this, He immediately came to the spot, ready to punish both brothers, but when the all-merciful Lord Gauranga saw Jagai’s repentant behavior, He immediately embraced him. By seeing the Supreme Personality of Godhead face to face and embracing Him, both the sinful brothers were at once cleansed. Thus they received initiation into the chanting of the Hare Krsna maha-mantra from the Lord and were delivered.


If an artist paints a rose. Which is better? The painting or the rose? So if the painting has a creator being the artist then there MUST BE a creator for the rose? Big big scientist can't understand this? Oh, here is my college degree in nonsense. Dr. Glow-worm with a doctorate in Frog philosophy. So these "learned men '' mislead society and cause so much trouble. Chanakya Pandita was an ancient Indian teacher, philosopher, economist, jurist and royal advisor.  He is considered the pioneer of the field of political science and economics in India, and his work is thought of as an important precursor to classical economics.[1] According to the moral instructions of Cāṇakya Paṇḍita, “What is the use of a son who is neither a learned man nor a devotee of the Lord?” If a son is not a devotee of the Supreme Lord, he is just like blind eyes — a source of trouble.[2]


Now I have a question. If A conditioned soul is absorbed in material existence under the influence of different modes of external energy. Absorbed in the false ego, he thinks that he is doing everything by himself.[3] The person in material consciousness is convinced by false ego that he is the doer of everything. He does not know that the mechanism of the body is produced by material nature, which works under the supervision of the Supreme Lord.[4] Then the opposite is to fully engage in the devotional service of the Lord under the supervision of the Supreme Lord? Or Māyā, the supreme energy of the Lord, acts both internally and externally?


My second question is: Persons who have acted piously in previous lives and in this life and whose sinful actions are completely eradicated are freed from the dualities of delusion, and they engage themselves in My service with determination. [5] So if one acts with determination to know the Science of God do not suffer delusion?


Am I to understand that not all determination is good? And that determination which cannot go beyond dreaming, fearfulness, lamentation, moroseness and illusion – such unintelligent determination, O son of Pṛthā, is in the mode of darkness.[6] From the Purport I understand this be dreaming from too much sleep. Actually, I have a "good or bad" habit of staying awake through the night as it is now 2 a.m. I have the impression that one should be awake when the demons sleep and sleep when they are awake?   


It is not that such devotees meet Krisna face to face in that tract of land, but a devotee’s eagerly searching after Krishna is as good as his seeing Him personally.[7] Not even Srimad Bhagavatam can explain this? Do you have some insight into such a profound Earth shattering statement?


When Lord Śrī Krishna descends into the material world, all His plenary portions also appear with Him to exhibit different functions of the Lord. But for the pastimes at Vṛndāvana, all functions are performed by the Lord’s different plenary expansions.[8] Wow! I have a feeling that this and the previous statement are so wonderful that my gross mind  can't process what is being said. I dare not question that statement without first approaching a bonafide Spiritual Master.


Please understand I am not advocating reckless acts like not wearing a seat belt in a car. This stage of dependence is called sattva-samsuddhih, or purification of one’s existence. The result of such purification is exhibited in fearlessness. A devotee of the Lord, who is called narayana-para, is never afraid of anything because he is always aware of the fact that the Lord protects him in all circumstances. [9] I can't help but feel this due to my life experiences. I escaped Death in awful countries around the world and this was no accident.


It is now 4 a.m. and you may be asking, "why are you still writing?"

The answer is as follows. Transcendental service to the Lord is not mundane. The service attitude of the devotee gradually increases and never becomes slackened. Generally, in old age a person is allowed retirement from mundane service. But in the transcendental service of the Lord there is no retirement at all; on the contrary, the service attitude increases more and more with the progress of age. In the transcendental service there is no satiation, and therefore there is no retirement. [10] The more one is cleansed of impurities, the more one becomes fixed in devotional service. [11] It is said, karmāni nirdahati kintu ca bhakti-bhājām: the Lord minimizes or nullifies the reactionary influence of the devotee’s past deeds.[12] The devotee-gardener is in touch with the abode of the Lord even from the material plane by dint of performing devotional service to the Lord simply by hearing and chanting.  As a creeper takes shelter of another, stronger tree, similarly the creeper of devotional service, nourished by the devotee, takes shelter of the lotus feet of the Lord and thus becomes fixed.[13] I am convinced that by Your association that I have become a stronger tree. This third Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam is overwhelming and explosive.


Is it wrong to become upset with the nonsense statements of the  Mayavadi and the Blasphemy of the Atheist? I reject their conclusions. Under no circumstances can the words of persons bewildered by the illusory energy of the Lord deviate the intelligence of those who are completely surrendered souls. All these blasphemies do not touch the heart of the devotees of the Lord because they know perfectly well what is what. Their intelligence regarding the Lord is never disturbed. But those who are disturbed by the statements of the asuras are also condemned.[14] I will read Srimad Bhagavatam to a fish tank if I think the fish are listening.


I want to thank you for listening and I pray that everything I referenced is correct and properly sourced. It is only by the Mercy of Great Devotees like You that I even stand a chance.  


I hope this email finds you in good health and not in distress. Are you drinking plenty of water due to this excessive heat? What is the water quality? Are you getting adequate rest and proper sleep? I am now focused on the needs of great Devotees like you.


Samkhya is a dualistic āstika school of Indian philosophy, regarding human experience as being constituted by two independent realities, puruṣa ('consciousness'); and prakṛti, cognition, mind and emotions. [15] In the previous verse it is described that Lord Krishna, being situated in the truths of Sāṅkhya philosophy, is detached from all kinds of matter.

[16] [17]


There are two kinds of krishna-kathā, represented by Bhagavad-gītā, spoken personally by Krishna about Himself, and Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, spoken by Śukadeva Gosvāmī about the glories of Krishna. Anyone who becomes even slightly interested in krishna-kathā is liberated.[18] Did I read that correctly? Anyone who becomes even slightly interested in krishna-kathā is liberated. Anyone who becomes even slightly interested in krishna-kathā is liberated? Anyone who becomes even slightly interested in krishna-kathā is liberated!


I am now trying to avoid the word,"Believe", and use the word, "Know". It's not that I believe this or that since beliefs can change like a candle in the wind. I know the Supreme Personality of Godhead is Krishna! The result being hearing Kirtan, Chanting, Reading and Writing. What else is there to do? Generally one should avoid the tenth Canto of Srimad Bhagavatam until everything else is read. Maybe there is an exception for one who is convinced of Krishna Consciousness Movement?


Although the devotees of the Krishna consciousness movement are quite young men, they no longer read materialistic newspapers, magazines and so on, for they are no longer interested in such topics (nivṛtta-tarṣaiḥ).[19]


The Ganges, emanating from the toe of Lord Viṣṇu, purifies the three worlds, the upper, middle and lower planetary systems.[20] I was once told when one chants they are messaging Lord Chaitanya's toes. I cannot find anything to back up this statement. Have you ever heard this?


Lord Brahmā informed the demigods: Before we submitted our petition to the Lord, He was already aware of the distress on earth. Consequently, for as long as the Lord moves on earth to diminish its burden by His own potency in the form of time, all of you demigods should appear through plenary portions as sons and grandsons in the family of the Yadus.[21] The key word here is, "in the form of time." This is were I like your thoughts and insights. I don't know what do make of that? Those exact words are used in SB 4.11.20, 3.26.18, 8.12.40 and almost twenty other places.


It is now 3 a.m. I shall take a short rest. Thank you for listening.  


So I understand in the spiritual world the Lord’s potency works as yoga-māyā, and in the material world the same potency works as mahā-māyā. In the material world, this potency, working as mahā-māyā, acts upon the conditioned souls to deprive them more and more of devotional service. But yoga-māyā, increasingly helps him become purified and devote his energy to the service of the Lord. So the Lord is not directly attached to this material creation.[22] Two persons, one in Krishna consciousness and the other in material consciousness, working on the same level, may appear to be working on the same platform, but there is a wide gulf of difference in their respective positions.[23] Thus the Lord’s potency, viṣṇu-māyā, has two features: āvaraṇikā and unmukha.[24] Being marginal potency, as soon as the living entity is freed from the control of material nature, he is put under the guidance of the spiritual nature.[25] The mahātmās, who fully surrender to the lotus feet of the Lord, are directed by Yoga-māyā, whereas the durātmās, those who are devoid of devotional service, are directed by Mahā-māyā.


So, my question is if an individual wants Yoga-maya? I want to personally Thank You for even allowing me to be part of your class on Krishna-Katha. These are my private thoughts and expressions of love towards a Great Devotee as you! If I miss three or more classes that means I have disappeared and gone home, Back to Godhead. I am NOT simply saying words of flattery but deep sincerity. I must never forget my position as a servant to Devotees. So my emails include the Subject line Your Servant.




The following is a brief recap of Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1 I have tried my best to read, reread, and understand. I ask for your insights into the subject of Kamsa and Devaki. What am I missing? Is my understanding not correct?


Why were Devaki's children killed by Kamsa? The six sons of Marīci had been cursed to take birth from the womb of Devakī, and upon being killed by Kamsa they would be delivered.[26] Vasudeva wanted Kamsa to know that he could not avoid death. For one who has taken his birth, death is certain.[27] Vasudeva wanted to save the life of Devakī by promising to deliver his sons to Kamsa. Maybe one of his sons would kill Kamsa? Maybe Kamsa will have an early death? This was smart thinking and noble.[28] Krishna’s business is to kill the demons, and therefore this should be a devotee’s business also. Because the people of Kali-yuga are fallen, however, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, out of kindness for them, did not bring any weapon to kill them. Rather, by spreading Krishnaa consciousness, love of Krishna, He wanted to kill their nefarious, demoniac activities.[29]


harer nāma harer nāma

harer nāmaiva kevalam

kalau nāsty eva nāsty eva

nāsty eva gatir anyathā


Śrīla Madhvācārya also known as APūrna Prajña and KaamĀnanda Tīrtha, was a Hindu philosopher and the chief proponent of the Dvaita (dualism) school of Vedanta.[30] Śrīla Madhvācārya gives the following notes. When one is awake, whatever one sees or hears is impressed upon the mind, which later works in dreams to show one different experiences, although in dreams one appears to accept a different body.* One who is always busy serving Krishna, in whatever condition he may live, is understood to be liberated even in this life. Such a person, who is a pure devotee, does not need to change his body; indeed, he does not possess a material body, for his body has already been spiritualized.* I offer my respectful obeisances unto the Supreme Person, Vāsudeva [oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya].[31] The word kāryārthe refers to one who attracted the pregnancy of Devakī and bewildered mother Yaśodā. These pastimes are very confidential. The Supreme Personality of Godhead ordered Yoga-māyā to bewilder His associates in His pastimes and bewilder demons like Kaṁsa.*  


Darkness And Disturbance by Srila Prabhupada (SB 01.07.18) at Vrndavana, September 15, 1976.


Aśvatthāmā, the murderer of the princes, seeing from a great distance Arjuna coming at him with great speed, fled in his chariot, panic stricken, just to save his life, as Brahmā fled in fear from Śiva.[32]


So Devotees are not afraid of being killed? Ambarīṣa Mahārāja was not afraid of Durvāsā Muni. Prahlāda Mahārāja had so many failed attempts against his young life but never afraid? Devotees solely engaged in the devotional service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Nārāyaṇa, never fear any condition of life. For them the heavenly planets, liberation and the hellish planets are all the same, for such devotees are interested only in the service of the Lord.[33] So, why should I care for liberation? I want to be nārāyaṇa-para, simply dependent on Nārāyaṇa!   


Prabhupada explains Dhīra means one who is not disturbed even though there is cause of disturbances. Dhīras tatra na muhyati. Any man who has perfect knowledge of the constitution of the individual soul, the Supersoul, and nature – both material and spiritual – is called a dhīra, or a most sober man.[34] Earlier tonight I dropped a hot water glass pot. It shattered all over the kitchen floor. Oh well, not disturbed. But here I think Prabhupada is talking about real danger like Earthquake or server flooding that could lead to immediate death. The Devotee is not disturbed?


This body I am in is 48 years old. "When I shall become old man, I shall chant Hare Krishna." This is not a very good policy. Prabhupada is telling us now, right now! This is the real purpose of my emails. I must learn from great Devotees like YOU now, right now!  


So I have given up having internet service. It was just too much distraction. I also dislike social media and all the filth to be found. Even by accident. People have very little time to talk about the Personality of Godhead or to inquire about Him.[35] Earlier I was writing about being fearless. The transmigration of the atma is most certainly fear. This is bhayam, or fear. At any moment there is death. Nothing we do can stop this bhyam. Because of this I should always be alert in fear, and reduce my material contamination to a minimum.  To be fearless is nirbhayam.

No one in this material world has become free from the four principles of birth, death, old age and disease, even by fleeing to various planets. But now that You have appeared, My Lord, death is fleeing in fear of You, and the living entities, having obtained shelter at Your lotus feet by Your mercy, are sleeping in full mental peace.[36] The six children killed by Kamsa had formerly been sons of Marici, but because of having been cursed by a brahma7J.a, they were obliged to take birth as grandsons of Hiranyakasipu. Kamsa had taken birth as Kalanemi, and now he was obliged to kill his own sons.[37]


So Devaki's first six babies were Demons?  


Because I am talking to so many Devotees and meeting more all the time. I added everyone to the BCC line in the email. I am pretty sure everyone I talk to does not know all the other Great Devotees that I am in communication with. Actually, I wish to purge my social network to only Devotees. I find it hard to ask questions since I just accept Bhagavad-gita as it is. I simply believe in Devotees. The following statement is mind boggling.


0 Lord, cause of all causes, if Your transcendental body were not beyond the modes of material nature, one could not understand the difference between matter and transcendence.


I have spent some time trying to come up with an example to explain this. My mind has failed to provide the words needed for such a deep concept. Like I am capable of understanding. I am not. So, I ask for your insight.


So, I sit alone on a Saturday night after attending two Srimad-Bhagavatam

classes and hearing Kirtan all day. I find it hard to accept that the bliss

My experience is phony and not real. It is not just in my mind? Every night

I go outside and check on a spider that comes out after Kirtan. Somehow

I feel it is my duty to protect this spider. I eat fruit for breakfast and

vegetables at night. But I have to remind myself to eat sometimes. After a

few hours of reading and hearing and chanting I start to understand just   

how ignorant I truly am. I am in fact that glow-worm with frog philosophy.   


In the front of the apartment is a pillar or column. I am thinking, "at any moment Lord Narasimha is about to bust out and save me!" No, I want you to understand this is my thought process. I keep falling short. I try and I try but being so degraded I always fall short.The following is a short summary of Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.32.



The word of the day is:


kṛcchreṇa - with great difficulty, painful, with great trouble, by   

            undergoing severe austerities, penances and hard labor.


ati-kṛcchreṇa - by severe endeavor.


So it is declared, "aruhya krcchrena param padam tatah"


(Someone may say that aside from devotees, who always seek shelter at the Lord's lotus feet, there are those who are not devo­tees but who have accepted different processes for attaining salva­tion. What happens to them?   


In answer to this question, Lord Brahma and the other demigods said:] 0 lotus-eyed Lord, al­though non devotees who accept severe austerities and penances to achieve the highest position may. think themselves liberated, their intelligence is impure. They fall down from their position of imagined superiority because they have no regard for Your lotus feet.[38]


There are many varieties of non devotees who have their respective ways of liberation, but simply because they do not know the shelter of the Lord's lotus feet, although they falsely think that they have been liberated and elevated to the highest position, they fall down.[38]


This is clearly stated by the Lord Himself!   


Those who are not faithful on the path of devotional service cannot

attain Me, 0 conqueror of foes, but return to birth and death in this

material world.[39]  


It's 5 p.m. on a lazy Sunday and super hot outside. I am to old to withstand the heat of summer and prefer the bitter cold of winter. Still, I must tolerate. I am feeling so blessed to be able to email Great Devotees like You! But if by chance, by the association of devotees, one can actually understand the Lord and His features, one immediately becomes a liberated person.[40] This is confirmed in Bhagavad-gita "One who knows the transcendental nature of My appearance and  ac­tivities does not, upon leaving the body, take his birth again in this   

ma­terial world, but attains My eternal abode, 0 Arjuna."[41]


From text 10.2.37 I understand while contemplating and causing others to remember Your tran­scendental names and forms,they can understand the Supreme Personality of Godhead. From Easy Journey to Other planets there is the sentence. Even persons who are less enlightened can return to Godhead.


Now for my question. Therefore you need not fear Kamsa, who has decided to be killed by the Lord.[42] Kasma decided to be killed? Did he know this from the beginning? I have heard that a sinful man should fear to live and fear to die. Both are inauspicious for the sinner?


That ends the 2nd chapter of the 10th Canto. I cannot wait for the 3rd!  



I joined partners with a local food pantry and they took Prabhupada's

books! I have CONFIRMED that His books were in fact DISTRIBUTED!  


So the third chapter of the 10th Canto starts with beautiful descriptions of a very peaceful Universe as Krishna's birth is being very elaborately  explained. The Lord is sac-cid-ananda-vigraha, and Devaki is also sac-cid-ananda-vigraha. Therefore no one can find any fault in the way the Supreme Personality of Godhead, sac-cid­ ananda-vigraha, appeared from the womb of Devaki.[43]


From 10.3.11 We find 4 wonders;


  1. The Lord was not afraid to appear within the prison house of Kamsa,

where Vasudeva and Devaki were interned.   


  1. Although the Lord,the Supreme Transcendence, is all-pervading, He had appeared from the womb of Devaki.


  1. Therefore,  that a child could take birth from the womb so nicely decorated.


  1. The Supreme Personality of Godhead was Vasudeva's worshipable Deity yet

had taken birth as his son.


But Vasudeva was aware that although the Lord had appeared as his son, the Lord had not entered Devaki's womb and then come out. Rather, the Lord was always there.[44] This seems worth mentioning and a key point that needs further discussion. What are your insights into this wondrous event?  


From Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.3.21 I understand that the politicians by hook or crook harass countless numbers of people on the plea of national security or some emergency and the only hope is this Hare Krishna movement.


Now we come to Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.3.27 which I have already quoted in earlier emails. No one in this material world has become free from the four principles of birth, death, old age and disease, even by fleeing to various planets. But now that You have appeared, My Lord, death is fleeing in fear of You, and the living entities, having obtained shelter at Your lotus feet by Your mercy, are sleeping in full mental peace. Prabhupada is on fire and says If our so-called scientists are going to the moon, why should they come back here? We must conclude without a doubt that they have never gone to the moon.


It has now been around 24 hours or so since I got rid of the Internet and I am getting so much done with no distraction. I do miss being able to do word searches and hearing about world news. Maybe I am better off not knowing?


Now we come to 10.3.31 and Devaki is still offering Prayers. Although Devaki is not on the Vrndavana platform, she is near the Vrndavana platform. On the Vrndavana platform the mother of Krishna is mother Yasoda, and on the Mathura and Dvaraka platform the mother of Krishna is Devaki.


A very interesting point was made on 10.3.33. People are trying to control birth, but they are not able to control death; and if one cannot control death, one cannot control birth either.


In text 36 "Thus you spent twelve thousand celestial years perform­ing difficult activities of tapasya in consciousness of Me [Krishna consciousness]". I can't do 12 minutes? I am so degraded. I am so ashamed.


Question, from 10.3.40 If one has a tinge of attachment for the material enjoyments of eating, sleeping, mating and defending, one is not niskincana. I only sleep because my body forces it, same with eating. I really don't care what I have for dinner. I am too old to mate and nobody threatens me? Am I niskincana?


Now onto text 44 A non devotee cannot believe that simply by thinking of one person, one can achieve liberation from this material world and go back home, back to Godhead. But this is a fact. It is now 9:45 at night and I spent several hours reading and writing. Are my feelings of Bliss phony and fake? I am being dead serious. Is this bliss mind made? Is it artificial? Please understand I was born low class with no intelligence.   


I have had chest pains and an upset stomach all night. But, that is no excuse. So, from 10.3.53 I understand that Devaki knew her child was Krishna and Yasoda did not. That concludes the Third Chapter from Canto 10 of Srimad-Bhagavatam.   


The Fourth Chapter starts with Kamsa apologizing for what he has done. I missed that part the first time I read it. Anyway in text 5 I learn that Devaki was the daughter of a ksatriya and knew how to play the political game. In politics there are different methods of achieving success:   


  1. repression (dama),   


  1. then compromise (sdma),   


  1. then asking for a gift (dana).


Now we reach text 18 and Kamsa is really laying on thick! My chest pains

finally went away and my stomach is o.k.    


My Heartfelt Effusion Chapter Two




My neighbor knocked on my door needing help. So, I helped him and Distributed another book! He already thought I was crazy. Now, He really thinks I went off the deep end!


From text 20 it should be noted, "Therefore, one who is situated in the spiritual status of life is unaffected by foam and garbage-or any superficial dirty things." and text 27 "Although the disease of a devotee is due to mistakes committed sometime in the past, he agrees to suffer and tolerate such miseries, and he depends fully on the Supreme Personality of Godhead." So, I must continue despite not feeling well today. Is this the correct attitude? Sometimes I get too fired up. Please excuse my over enthusiasm. Sometimes I just can't help it. Now that I have purged radio, television, and the internet. I become lonely and seek association of Great Devotees like you! I am troubled. I am distributing  Prabhupada's books and doing my best. This movement must go forward. I am doing my part. But, I always fall short. Please forgive me.


Again it's 2:30 a.m. and I can't sleep. So I am listening to "Attachment Education" by Srila Prabhupada (SB 7.6.9) Vrndavana, December 11, 1975


The word for today is:   


vimocitum-to liberate from material bondage


Prabhupāda Started the day with a morning walk talking about just how the prices have risen for a bicycle and how cheaply made the steel has become. The talk turns to scientists and how they are creating problems. Prabhupāda: [sounds of many birds in background] Birds and beasts, they're living without any scientists---they're more happy. It's statements like that I always find sweet and humorous. 

The the conversation turns serious about abortion and birth control. Prabhupāda: ...but our point is, the birth problem is not solved. If there is an unwanted population, you kill them, that does not mean the population problem is solved.


Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 7.6.9


"Who is the person who is too much attached to household life on account of being unable to control the senses and liberate himself because he is bound up very strongly with the rope of affection for the family, namely wife, children, relatives, etc?"


The aim of life is vimocitam. And we have to undo this attachment, vairāgya. Undo this attachment means vairāgya, detachment. You cannot become liberated by any other means except bhakti-yoga. That is what motivates me. This is to reason for hearing, listening, reading and writing at 4 o'clock in the morning in the dead of night on a Tuesday.


Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya - Son of Vidūratha (son of Suratha, who was the son of Jahnu, who was one of the four sons of Kuru). He had a son named Jayasena.[45]

From Suratha came a son named Viduratha, from whom Sarvabhauma was born. From Siirvabhauma came Jayasena; from Jayasena, Radhika; and from Radhika, Ayutayu.[46] Krishna Caitanya is Krishna. That was observed by Sārvabhauma Bhaṭṭācārya. He composed one hundred verses praising the glories of Lord Caitanya, but because Caitanya Mahāprabhu was playing the part of a devotee, He thrown away the ślokas, because "This is not for Me." That was Caitanya Mahāprabhu's humbleness.[47] [48]  Prabhupada quotes, "This is the instructional lesson, or education, vidyā, education. It is vairāgya-vidyā, detachment education. It is not attachment education."


Prabhupada gave a class in London on His Birthday. The subject was Bhagavad-gita

Chapter 2 Text 31


Considering your specific duty as a ksatriya, you should know that there is no better engagement for you than fighting on religious principles; and so there is no need for hesitation.


When one is liberated, one's svadharma-specific duty-becomes spiritual and is not in the material bodily concept. Sva-dharma means own occupation. Every soul is an eternal servant of Krishna. That is spiritual sva-dharma. And material sva-dharma means this brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra.   


From Prabhupada room conversation with Peter we learn:


Prabhupāda: Because God is unlimited, He has got unlimited energy. I have got limited energy. I can pass urine, say, one pound; I can have perspiration, say, one ounce; but if God likes, He can produce unlimited water. Why this one Atlantic Ocean? Many millions of Atlantic Ocean He can produce water produced from His body. So where is the difficulty to understand? When Kṛṣṇa says that the elements... Other matters are growing. Just like the hair. Now, today, I have shaved. Three days after, again it will grow. So I have got my energy within, by which I'm constantly growing, matter. Hair is a material thing. So anything you take, it grows from the Supreme. It is very easy to understand.


The deprogramer's failed. It's too late for me. I reject their arguments of a formless God. My God has a form and a Pastime! Please tell me more about my Krishna! He killed so many demons! Is my Krishna safe? Yet Puntina becomes mother? What happened to Devaki? Mother Yasoda? It is 9:30 p.m. and I just finished two online classes with some very dear Devotees. 


I am in Bliss and hair standing on its end. Such a development of ecstasy is called anuraga When anuraga reaches its highest limit and becomes perceivable in the body, it is called bhava.[49] Sūta Gosvāmī said: All different varieties of ātmārāmas [those who take pleasure in the ātmā, or spirit self], especially those established on the path of self-realization, though freed from all kinds of material bondage, desire to render unalloyed devotional service unto the Personality of Godhead. This means that the Lord possesses transcendental qualities and therefore can attract everyone, including liberated souls.[50]


Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu explained this ātmārāma śloka very vividly before His chief devotee Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī. He points out eleven factors in the śloka, namely   


(1) ātmārāma,   

(2) munayaḥ,   

(3) nirgrantha,   

(4) api,   

(5) ca,   

(6) urukrama,   

(7) kurvanti,   

(8) ahaitukīm,   

(9) bhaktim,   

(10) ittham-bhūta-guṇaḥ    

(11) hariḥ.   


According to the Viśva-prakāśa Sanskrit dictionary, there are seven synonyms for the word ātmā, which are as follows:   


(1) Brahman (the Absolute Truth),   

(2) body,   

(3) mind,   

(4) endeavor,   

(5) endurance,   

(6) intelligence    

(7) personal habits.


The word munayaḥ refers to   


(1) those who are thoughtful,   

(2) those who are grave and silent,   

(3) ascetics,   

(4) the persistent,   

(5) mendicants,   

(6) sages    

(7) saints.


The word nirgrantha conveys these ideas:   


(1) one who is liberated from nescience


(2) one who has no connection with scriptural injunction, i.e., who is freed from the obligation of the rules and regulations mentioned in the revealed scriptures like ethics, Vedas, philosophy, psychology and metaphysics (in other words the fools, illiterate, urchins, etc., who have no connection with regulative principles),   


(3) a capitalist,    


(4) one who is penniless.


According to the Śabda-kośa dictionary, the affix ni is used in the sense of   


(1) certainty,   

(2) counting,   

(3) building   

(4) forbiddance


The word grantha is used in the sense of wealth, thesis, vocabulary, etc.


When unalloyed practice of sādhana-bhakti is matured into transcendental love for the Lord, the transcendental loving service of the Lord begins gradually developing into nine progressive stages of loving service under the headings of   


(1) attachment,   

(2) love,   

(3) affection,   

(4) feelings,   

(5) affinity,   

(6) adherence,   

(7) following,   

(8) ecstasy,   

(9) intense feelings of separation.


“Persons who are impelled by pure devotional service in Krishna consciousness and who therefore go to see the Deities of Viṣṇu in the temple will surely get relief

from entering again into the prison house of a mother’s womb.”[51]


Prabhupada spoke on this subject September 9, 1976 in Vrndavana.   

Direct quote,"Matter does not work. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, by His different energies, He is working."


It is now 1 a.m. and I feel most alive. Hearing Kirtan, reading and writing about

Srimad Bhagavatam. I patiently await for the moment when I can talk to and hear from Great Devotees as You! Writing helps me to commit what I read to memory. As

others sleep, I read and write and hear and learn. It is now 2 a.m. I shall take

a short rest. I included a video that I want to learn. It is only four verses.


The word of the day is dāsa-anudāsaḥ — the servant of Your servant


One must first become a servant of the servant of the servant of the Lord (dāsānudāsa).[52] Therefore I simply seek friendship in the association of Your pious and enlightened devotees.[55] From Feb. 6, 1971 in Gorakphur: Prabhupāda: That is your duty. Dāsānudāsa. That is the process.[56] "One who has become the servant of another Krishna's servant. This is called dāsa-dāsānudāsa. Nobody can be independently servant of Krishna."[57] [58] One who wants to become servant of the servant of the servant of the servant, he is actually prabhu.[59] We should not try to become direct servants, for that is not possible. First of all we must become the servant of the servant.[60]


O my Lord, O Supreme Personality of Godhead, will I again be able to be a servant of Your eternal servants who find shelter only at Your lotus feet? O Lord of my life, may I again become their servant so that my mind may always think of Your transcendental attributes, my words always glorify those attributes, and my body always engage in the loving service of Your Lordship?[52]


O my Lord, source of all opportunities, I do not desire to enjoy in Dhruvaloka, the heavenly planets or the planet where Lord Brahmā resides, nor do I want to be the supreme ruler of all the earthly planets or the lower planetary systems. I do not desire to be master of the powers of mystic yoga, nor do I want liberation if I have to give up Your lotus feet.[53]


O lotus-eyed Lord, as baby birds that have not yet developed their wings always look for their mother to return and feed them, as small calves tied with ropes await anxiously the time of milking, when they will be allowed to drink the milk of their mothers, or as a morose wife whose husband is away from home always longs for him to return and satisfy her in all respects, I always yearn for the opportunity to render direct service unto You.[54]



O my Lord, my master, I am wandering throughout this material world as a result of my fruitive activities. Therefore I simply seek friendship in the association of Your pious and enlightened devotees. My attachment to my body, wife, children and home is continuing by the spell of Your external energy, but I wish to be attached to them no longer. Let my mind, my consciousness and everything I have be attached only to You.[55]  


It is now 4 a.m. Just a reminder.


Ekadashi Tithi Begins - 06:21 AM on Sep 02, 2021

Ekadashi Tithi Ends - 07:44 AM on Sep 03, 2021



“Gautama Muni said, ‘Oh king, during the dark fortnight of the month of Bhadrapada there occurs an especially meritorious Ekadasi named Aja (Annada),which removes all sins. Indeed, this Ekadasi is so auspicious that if you simply fast on that day and perform no other austerity,all your sins will be nullified. By your good fortune it is coming in just seven days. So I urge you to fast on this day and remain awake through the night. If you do so, all the reactions of your past sins will come to an end.[62]



The legend behind the observance of Annada Ekadashi can be taken back to the famous king Harischandra. He was known for his truthfulness and honesty. One day, Sage Vashista and Sage Vishwamitra betted on the truthfulness of the king. While sage Vashista was in favor of the king, sage Vishwamitra objected that the king also lies. As a result, king Harischandra had to give up his kingdom and leave for Kashi. Though he became an undertaker in Kashi, he never lied. He always stood by his word and followed a proper code of conduct. One fine day, the king happened to meet the great sage Gautama. The king recounted his entire sad story to the sage.


Thereafter, the sage suggested the king to observe the Annada Ekadashi since it had the power to wash away all the sins. Agreed, the king observed the fast and continued with his firm belief in honesty and truthfulness. Hence, as expected, sage Vishwamitra accepted his defeat and returned the kingdom to the king. Moreover, the king was even able to get back his wife and his dead son became alive. Eventually, the king ruled his kingdom happily for many years and finally, attained Moksha (salvation) and reached the Vaikunta. There are no specific rules for observing the fast on Annada Ekadashi. All general rules for the Ekadashi are followed on this day as well. Rice, grains and beans are avoided.[61]  





[1]  Source Wikipedia

[2]  Srimad Bhagavatam 3.1.13

[3]  Srimad Bh[1] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1.34

[4]  Bhagavad Gita 3.27

[5]  Bhagavad Gita 7.28

[6]  Bhagavad Gita 18.35

[7]  Srimad Bhagavatam 3.1.24

[8]  Srimad Bhagavatam 3.1.30

[9]  Srimad Bhagavatam 3.1.42

[10] Srimad Bhagavatam 3.2.3

[11] Srimad Bhagavatam 3.2.5

[12] Brahma-samhita 5.54

[13] Srimad Bhagavatam 3.2.6

[14] Srimad Bhagavatam 3.2.10

[15] Source Wikipedia

[16] Srimad Bhagavatam 3.3.19

[17] Srimad Bhagavatam 4.31.14

[18] Srimad Bhagavatam 10.1.3

[19] Srimad Bhagavatam 10.1.4

[20] Srimad Bhagavatam 10.1.16

[21] Srimad Bhagavatam 10.1.22

[22] Bagavad-gita 9.10

[23] Bagavad-gita 3.27

[24] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1.25

[25] Bagavad-gita 9.13

[26] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1.34

[27] Bhagavad-gita 2.27

[28] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1.49-50

[29] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.1.64

[30] Wikipedia

* additional notes for chapter 1 10th Canto

[31] Srimad-Bhagavatam 8.3.2  

[32] Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.7.18

[33] Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.17.28

[34] Bhagavad-gita 2.13

[35] Sri Isopanisad p87

[26] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.3.27               

[37] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.4-5

[38] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.32

[39] Bhagavad-gita 9.3  

[40] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.36

[41] Bhagavad-gita 4.9

[42] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.2.41

[43] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.3.7-8

[44] Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.3.14


[46] Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 9.22.10

[47] Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Ādi-līlā 1.1

[48] Prabhupada Mayapur, March 25, 1975  

[49] Madhya-lila, Ch. 6 Text 13

[50] Srimad Bhagavatam 1.7.10

[51] Hari-bhakti-sudhodaya

[52] Srimad Bhagavatam 6.11.24

[53] Srimad Bhagavatam 6.11.25

[54] Srimad Bhagavatam 6.11.26

[55] Srimad Bhagavatam 6.11.27

[56] Srimad Bhagavatam 6.3.16-17

[57] Srimad Bhagavatam 7.9.8

[58] March 22, 1976 Mayapur

[59] Oct. 23 1976 Vrndavana

[60] Teachings of Lord Kapila Text 41  




 Thank you for listening.


Hare Krishna !

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