I Want to be Happy as You

I remember when my ex-husband cheated me and threw me out of my own house on the street, and sold it by evil, I was completely lonely. Nobody wanted to speak to me, even friends and relatives, nobody could help, understand. I was so afraid alone. But because I already knew Krishna, I prayed to Him. Only doing sankirtana from morning to evening I could maintain myself and be happy. My calamity was so big that only sankirtana leaded by Lord Caitanya could pacify me and help. Otherwise I was just mental. But Lord Caitanya saved me, He picked me up, brought nice people – He was the best friend. I was sleeping with Him on one pillow on the street, I was eating together with Him. He was always next to me. He was always very loving. I was never afraid. I know if not His mercy I would not be alive. He showed me where to go, He arranged all the things, He sent me to right people, He fed me with His hands. I was not alone, I had the best friend. I know, you can hardly believe it. But to get special Lord’s mercy Krishna says in “Bhagavad-gita” that sometimes He takes away everything from His sincere devotee to make him closer. Now I know that Krishna is my best friend, my best lover, my best father. And nobody can eradicate this faith from me. I got so much close to the Lord. Nobody can isolate us. And this is the greatest bliss in your life. Even every day, hour you come closer to Him – there is no limit to stop deepening relationship. You start to know that no one else will take so good care of Krishna as you do, and that He takes care of you in reciprocation. The relation becomes very intimate. It becomes deep love. Experiencing this bliss you become so much compassionate to other people who struggle so much with the illusion. Therefore you go out on book distribution to give them Krishna, to make them happy, blissful. With much more strength and faith. They have to understand that only Lord can be the best companion, friend, advisor. Your strong belief you pass on others. Then people really believe you. They see that it is real, not artificial – they tell me: “You are so happy, I also want to be happy”. 

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