Good association is essential to help maintain the determination necessary for making strong progress in spiritual life. On the other hand, bad association can easily and quickly destroy whatever spiritual development we have made. Throughout his books Shrila Prabhupada again and again stresses the need for proper association. A few quotes:
“Without the association (of persons who are Krishna conscious and engaged in devotional service) one cannot make advancement. Simply by theoretical knowledge or study one cannot make any appreciable advancement. One must give up the association of materialistic persons and seek the association of devotees because without the association of devotees one cannot understand the activities of the Lord... Association with devotees means association with the Lord. The devotee who takes this association develops the consciousness of rendering service to the Lord and then, being situated in the transcendental position of devotional service, he gradually becomes perfect.” (SB 3.25.25)
“One should not associate with a coarse fool who is bereft of all knowledge of self-realization and who is no more than a dancing dog in the hands of a woman. The restriction of association with such foolish persons is especially meant for those who are in the line of advancement in Krishna consciousness.
“If one associates with a shudra, a foolish person who is like a dancing dog in the hands of a woman, then he cannot make any progress. Lord Chaitanya has advised that any person who is engaged in Krishna consciousness and who desires to pass beyond material nescience must not associate himself with women or with persons interested in material enjoyment. For a person seeking advancement in Krishna consciousness, such association is more dangerous than suicide.” (-SB 3.31.34 Text and Purport)
“Realization of the Lord is possible only in the association of devotees.” (SB 7.6.20-23)
“Dhruva Maharaja said: ‘O unlimited Lord, kindly bless me so that I may associate with great devotees who engage in your transcendental service constantly, as the waves of the river constantly flow.’ The significant point in Dhruva Maharaja’s statement is that he wanted the association of pure devotees. Transcendental devotional service cannot be complete and cannot be relishable without the association of devotees. We have therefore established the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Anyone who is trying to be aloof from this Krishna Consciousness Society and yet engage in Krishna consciousness is living in a great hallucination, for this is not possible. From this statement by Dhruva Maharaja it is clear that unless one is associated with devotees, his devotional service does not mature; it does not become distinct from material activities. Only in the association of pure devotees can the words of Lord Krishna be fully potent and relishable to the heart and ear. Devotional service in the association of devotees is the cause of the development of further devotional service. It is possible to mature in devotional service only in the association of devotees.” (SB 4.9.11)
A single twig can easily be broken, but many twigs bundled together become impossible to break. We want to become Krishna conscious, but in our heart there are still many mundane desires. We all need help to make advancement. By associating with enthusiastic devotees we can help each other nourish our desires for Krishna consciousness. Strong association creates a strong atmosphere.
Therefore even in associating with devotees, strict brahmacaris must be selective. Those who want to remain strong brahmacaris must associate with those who are very serious about spiritual life, whose association encourages and inspires remaining purely on the spiritual platform. The best association for brahmacaris is with sannyasis or senior brahmacaris, with those who are convinced of the necessity of living separately from women. If a grihastha or even a so-called brahmacari is loose (“loose” means not committed to Krishna consciousness, not following strict sadhana, not following the regulative principles, or often talking prajalpa or mixing freely with women), his association should be avoided by serious brahmacaris.
Serious brahmacaris should also be careful of associating with devotees whose philosophical understanding of Krishna consciousness is different from that taught by Shrila Prabhupada, or who have a tendency to be “political.” It is best for brahmacaris to remain simple, pure, and aloof from politics and chronic complainers. Remaining respectful and polite, they should rather seek the association of well-situated devotees, whatever ashrama they may be in.
Everyone is looking for rasa (“juice”) in their relationships. A real brahmacari does not identify himself materially as a man, but as an eternal servant of Lord Krishna. A man needs a woman, but a servant of the Lord needs the Lord. Therefore a committed brahmacari stays in the association of devotees and experiences taste in spiritual relationships. He does not try to enjoy material relationships. By serving together, encouraging and checking each other, and providing help in times of spiritual crisis, devotees build solid friendships based on Krishna consciousness—unlike materialistic friendships that are based on sense gratification. This is real friendship, perhaps for the first time in many lifetimes. If a brahmacari does not get such rasa in his relationships with devotees, he will tend to look for it amongst women and karmis.
However, devotees are often intense, and living with them can be austere and hard on the false ego. This is especially so for brahmacaris, who have less independence, and are expected to surrender more than, the members of any other ashrama. New devotees in particular may find it hard to adjust to a new lifestyle. And because of their lack of training, they may sometimes act or speak improperly, and need to be corrected. But despite all difficulties, brahmacaris should resolve to stick to the path. Better take the knocks of the brahmacari-ashrama than the much harder knocks of life outside of Krishna consciousness or of married life within Krishna consciousness. If you a need a break, take shelter of the holy name, Prabhupada’s books, and Krishna prasada. Don’t go outside.
The best association is to be found within the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. There are many Vaishnava societies in the world, but ISKCON is Shrila Prabhupada’s movement. Shrila Prabhupada was especially benedicted by Lord Chaitanya to fulfill His preaching mission, and ISKCON is the special movement meant for receiving and distributing Lord Chaitanya’s mercy.
In this preaching movement, by the pressure of practical necessity, devotees are forced to work hard, cooperate, and surrender. Sometimes devotees make mistakes or may not seem very sophisticated, but we should know that they are being purified in the fire of sankirtana and that we will be too, if we remain sincere and stick with the devotees.
Sometimes junior devotees may be living in the same temple with senior devotees and would like to take their association (which they so much need to help them in their spiritual development) but are hesitant to do so, thinking that such senior devotees will not like to be disturbed by them. But actually the opposite is true. If approached in a proper and respectful way, any senior Vaishnava will happily give direction and advice. Indeed, it is the duty of senior devotees to help junior devotees advance. Bhaktivinoda Thakura advises that one become the dog of a Vaishnava. Just as a puppy dog eagerly tries to take shelter of a master, so we should not be shy in approaching Vaishnavas to take their association. We should not be overly familiar with Vaishnavas senior to us, but should approach them with submissive inquiry and should offer to render some service to such Vaishnavas. This is the process for receiving spiritual knowledge given by Lord Krishna in Bhagavad-gita (4.34).
A practical point regarding association is that, as far as possible, a brahmacari should never be alone, but should always be in the association of other devotees (preferably also brahmacaris). In the Madhva-sampradaya, brahmacaris going outside the ashrama are supposed to do so in groups of at least four, to give each other association and protection. It is especially dangerous and improper fo brahmacaris to go anywhere alone without taking permission from (or if they be more senior brahmacaris, without at least informing) their authorities. For a brahmacari to go anywhere alone in karmi dress is particularly jeopardous and should not be encouraged or allowed except in extraordinary circumstances.
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