Gender

Female

Birthday:

May 16

Name / Initiated name

Yap Ni Yan

Daily number of rounds of Hare Krishna mahamantra.

None at the moment, trying to start up again.

When, where and how did you come into contact with the Hare Krishna Movement?

May 2008 (I think that is the right year) in New Zealand --- I refuse to allow an (ex) devotee leave me without telling me where he is going because my instincts told me to.

Name the nearest or most frequently Visited ISKCON temple/ centre and name few of the devotees whom you know.

Nearest: Iskcon KL (Bhawani Mataji, Marici Dasa) Frequent (pass 3 years): GauraYoga in Wellington, New Zealand (Gaura arati devi, Krsnaloka devi, Jaya Ramachandra, Chandidasa Dasa, Visnumaya devi and many others)

Please describe yourself so that other like minded devotees can find you.

Have you ever felt like you are in a dream, that this world feels very unreal? Like you do not belong here? Have you ever had dreams that shows you places and incidents you have never seen before? Feelings of dejavu? Have you ever hear voices that does not belong to you? The ones that you are extremely compelled to follow? All my life I had been living in a dream, following the tide of others and my own whims. As I grew older, at the beginning and the end of the year --- depression sets in, a lost feeling overwhelms me. I was swimming but not moving anywhere. At my most lowest and absolute misery, I decided to pursue my studies overseas... New Zealand called me. Australia was tempting (peer pressure) but New Zealand has such a sweet calling. It was lonely there where sadness took into a whole new level. It was when I moved to Wellington to look for a job (fell in love with the city) I felt that maybe I will be alright. It was when a fellow colleague (we work at the bagel cafe) whom I observed start to change his diet, preaching vegetarian ways and then decided to leave as he can't (in good conscious) work there. On the last day, we left at the same time (which is rare), this voice told me to talk to him. Follow him. Found out where is he going now. Don't leave his side until he tells you. That's when I found GauraYoga. The sweet smell of praying incense and this absolutely wonderful (beyond description as remembering it brings tears to my eyes) feeling of someone embracing my entire feeling. It felt like I was finally home. For 1 week, I ate the most delicious meals which I packed for the following day. I was convinced to be vegetarian by then (well, my body was ready but now my mind is convinced we won't kick the bucket) --- I decided to wean off by eating fish to eggs then no more. 1 tasty?? fish meal later... I had terrible stomach problems for the entire of the next day. I was partially unwilling to give up eating fish until I did my research about them... let's just say I gave up immediately after reading. I think I broke vegetarian conversion record so far. Wow. I had the loveliest time with the KC devotees, the feelings of enjoyment comes and tends to overflow, there are times when I sometimes disappear (wicked self, how could you). To find out that I had dreamt of GY's panca tattva with the exact curtains, offerings and atmosphere (Krsna's appearance day) was amazing itself. The only regret is that I had to leave them for Malaysia when my visa ended. Now, I am going against the waves of people around me. A very very difficult journey, which made me believe I could not return... forgetting that there are other devotees here as well. Took me two years to realize I am never lost, only when I allow myself to be. I may be a little lost once a while, but in a good way --- if this is my first step back to Godhead, I will take it. If I have to reincarnate again, as long as I can return to You and Your devotees, as terrifying as the thought is to go through it again, I SHALL take it (not that I have a choice, I'll still reincarnate haha) Pleased to meet all of you, I kindly beg for any mercy you may grant to me, a lowly neophyte who wishes to be fearless, to be happy serving and learning how to cope in this money-making industry. Hare Krsna.

What are your expectations from this community?

To revive my blissful state when I was in New Zealand where I lived in the ashram the final months in the country and happily doing cooking, cleaning with everyone --- without any fear of the material world. I wish to put to rest my restless, weary mind from this dreamworld. I wish to wake up.

Describe any specific service you would love to offer to Lord Krishna & His devotees?

I have not kept up with my rounds so I would love to offer my kitchen preparation skills (not cooking, others are far better) and cleaning. I am a graphic designer and would like to offer my skills as well.