I had a dream from which I just woke up and I just want to take a few minutes to write it down. It made me a little scared of going crazy but then I realised my dream also told me its just friends, family and people I dont know who will think I am crazy for being Krishna Conciouss. Esp. here in the west you are considdered a very special and a little crazy person to be in this Hare Krishna "sect". Anyway on to my dream...
I was walking around with my Gopal doll ( made of polyester - I bought him for about 5 euro's in a cheap place, so not a fancy deity) when he started to look real to me, also he got a little smaller. When he started to become very real like he got real looking limbs etc and smiled and looked at me I got freaked out a little so I put him on a seat somewhere and kindof ran off to find someone to tell this to. I found someone like a friend (i dont remember who) and told what happened, so I went back to Gopal to show him/her but he had gone off. So I got very worried and started looking for him, I guess it was like hide and seek because every time I found him he was bigger or smaller then my Gopal doll and more or less in an alive form. I think he didnt want to scare me too much but show me enough to know what he can do and actually just because he was enjoying hide and seek. So I kept finding him and carrying him around and them loosing him again and finding him again. It was like a loving past time but I dont deserve this kind of past-time at all, even in a dream.
So the next part of the dream I had his parrot on my finger, he was very tame and when he flew off I could just call him and he would fly back to me. One time I couldn't find him by calling him and found him in a Christmas tree which seemed small but he was picking of "cherimoya" fruits, 2 of them actually. I noticed the places where he broke the stem was still smoking hot from his beak. He must have really wanted them ( I am going out today to get some cherimoya as I think Gopal wants some ;) ) ... So I took him out the tree and openen the cherimoya for him and let him eat the fruit. Then somehow my old friends where there ( also ex-devotee amongst them) and family members and some strangers... I think this was right after I took a bath in a natural lake where I felt like running off to because some aboriginal family came my way and I didnt know if they where a hostile tribe. Anyway.. friends and family started to trow rocks at me but couldnt hit me with the big rocks, only with some small rocks they trew of some old ruin of a castle which I was standing under.
I trew some rocks back at the ex-devotee friend and did manage to hit him, he giggled a little as it didnt hurt.
Thats the end of my dream.
I woke up feeling a little crazy and a tiny bit afraid to face my Gopal doll who I keep very dear to my heart as he has brought me back to KC several times by appearing real or calling telepathicly.
I know this dream is connected to that, so I am not asking for an explaination allthough feel free to explain me more then I understood from it if you have insight. Thanks.
Gopal didnt scare me anymore when I was awake and offered my obeicences but still I see that twinkle in his eyes. Oh Krishna, what are you doing to me, Im so neophyte, I just started chanting again since 1,5 week ! I am kindof scared what will happen as I progress. In my heart I know its only love and Love reciprocated.
There is so many things I have seen in my life, I dont know why I should be afraid of the Lord in his sweetest form of a child that makes me afraid. Actually Im in tears of joy. Thank you for reading and please forgive me for any offence by writing this.
I hope it helps someone else too.
Hare Krishna , thanks for reading.