Jokes in Words

Hare Krishna dear Devotees, please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Here we will share funny anecdotes - in Krishna Conscious in words only! When this discussion will have too many pages we will create the similar discussion page with the title "Jokes in Words - 2"

Let's make Devotees happy in Krishna Conscious way!!! Thank You!

Your humble servant,


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  • Some guys hold the hands of their wife in mall... If he leaves her husband, she will go shopping!

    It looks romantic but it is economic :P


    My Brave Childhood History

    I Kicked Lion's Face
    I Pulled Tiger's Tail
    I BroKe Cheeta's Leg
    ... I Threw Elephants

    Then ...................

    The toy shop owner kicked me out...

  • While manifesting the earth God said to man: You can find a good wife in any corner of the world.

    And than he made the earth round... keep searching for the corners.

  • सवाल पूछा गया...कौन-सा लिक्विड गर्म करने पर सॉलिड में बदल जाता है?

    सारे साइंटिस्ट फेल हो गए पर रजनीकांत ने जवाब दे दिया।

    रजनीकांत ने जवाब दिया...डोसा।

    • Husband: Do you know the major benefit I received from our marriage?

      Wife: What is it?

      Husband: I received the reactions of sins from all previous births in this birth only!

    • :)

  • "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy -- and Jill a rich widow."

  • Volunteer


    I once met a man who said he was looking for the perfect wife. He told me that he needed to find someone who was beautiful, kind, loving, and very spiritually oriented. And yes, he had found such a women. But it did not work out. He said she was so spiritual that she could not easily relate to the practical things in the material world.

    Then he found someone who was perfect. She was beautiful, kind, loving, intelligent, organized and practical in material affairs. She was just what he was looking for. But he said that also did not work out. Why? Because she was so practical that she really did not need him so much, and ended up being a bit of a nag, always telling him what he should do. So he still looked for the perfect woman.

    Then he found the perfect wife. She was beautiful, kind, loving, intelligent, organized, practical in material affairs, as well as spiritually inclined. A perfect balance. No one could be better. She would make just what he was looking for--the perfect wife.

    So I asked him if they got married. No. Why not? Because she was also looking for the perfect husband.

    • i m trying to derive a moral out of it :)

  • Volunteer


    This is a joke that I often tell, with my own embellishments, while on lecture tours in India. You’ll see why.

    There was a simple and little Hindu priest who lived in Mathura. Once he had the chance to go visit the Pope at the Vatican in Italy. After traveling to the Vatican, he walked up the steps and through the halls of the opulent building where the Pope stayed. He looked in awe at the beautiful marble floors and majestic columns. Then he came into the Pope’s office and he greeted the Pope who was seated behind his desk. The little Hindu priest sat nearby and they exchanged pleasantries. Then the Hindu priest noticed a red phone sitting at the end of the desk. So the Hindu priest asked what it was.

    “Oh, that’s my hotline to God,” replied the Pope. “Whenever things get too difficult and I need to have a personal talk with God, I give Him a call.”

    “Oh,” said the priest. “Would you mind if I tried it?”

    “No, not at all,” the Pope responded.

    So the little Hindu priest picked up the phone, dialed the number, and sure enough, he got through to God. So he offered his respects and prayers, said he was very happy to talk to Him, and then hung up the phone after only five minutes. He was a simple priest and did not have much more to say to God. He then thanked the Pope for the privilege of using the special red phone.

    The Pope replied, “Oh that is quite all right. By the way, that will be $75.”

    “Seventy-five dollars?” inquired the Hindu priest.

    “Oh yes,” said the Pope. “You know, long distance charges. It’s a long way from here to God, you know.”

    So the priest pulled out his wallet and gave the pope the seventy-five dollars.

    Several months later, the Pope had the opportunity to visit India, and it was arranged for him to come to Mathura and visit the little Hindu priest. So the Pope approached the little hut of the Hindu priest, ducking his head as he walked through the door. He sat in a chair in front of the little table where the Hindu priest was pleased to again meet the Pope. They exchanged greetings when the Pope noticed the same kind of red phone on the priest’s table as he had at the Vatican. So the Pope asked what that was.

    “Why, I also have a hotline to God,” replied the Hindu priest.

    “Do you mind if I use it?” asked the Pope. “I really have a lot on my mind.”

    “Please do,” responded the priest.

    So the Pope got on the phone and got a good connection and managed to get through to God. He offered his prayers, but then had many things to discuss. He talked about the trouble in the Vatican, the difficulties with the priests and legal charges in the United States, the changing attitudes of the congregation in England and Europe, and so on. Fifteen minutes went by, then a half-hour, then finally after nearly an hour he was able to put the phone down. Then he said, “Thank you very much. I feel a lot better now. I had so much to talk about. By the way, how much will that be?”

    The Hindu priest thought a moment and then said, “Two rupees.”

    “What,” the Pope replied, surprised at how inexpensive it was. “Why so cheap?”

    “Why don’t you know?” asked the little Hindu priest. “Here it is a local call.”

    • Hari Bol

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