How to overcome lust and attain peace?

Dandavat Pranaam.

I came to know of the Krishna Consciousness Movement through my mother who got initiated under Sree Bhakti Ballabh Tirtha Goswami Maharaj of Sree Chaitanya Gaudiya Math in 1997. My family - my mother, me and my sister moved to Gujarat, India in 2008. Since then, we have been visiting ISKCON temple, Ahmedabad for darshan and worship. We went through a lot a financial difficulties from 2008 to 2012 and my mother suffers from schizophrenia.

My main problem is that like my mother I also suffer from a mental condition known as bipolar disorder, I take my medication as prescribed but I am unable to find peace.I am an engineer now, working in the oil & gas industry. I am 27 years of age. I do not have a spiritual master. I read the Bhagavad Gita almost daily, chant Hare Krishna maha-mantra, and visit ISKCON temple.

It is my deepest desire to have no sexual attraction towards women. I try to focus my mind and keep it from wavering, but I am unable to restrain myself from wandering towards sexual thoughts. I want to cleanse my mind of sexual thoughts and become completely free of attraction towards any woman.

What is the best method to cleanse the mind and remove lust?

Please help.

Hare Krishna

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  • Hare Krishna!!! please read the following instructions from Srila Prabhupada. they will sure help you. I know that.
  • I hope and pray you are very healthy and very happy practicing Hare Krishna Bhakti Yoga!

    Perhaps some people are trapped in some kind of Maha Maya and in a strange kind of way it may actually be temporarily good advice to encourage them about sex. I know this may not sound right, but let us just consider how modern society is sometimes and how people develop emotionally and psychologically. But, I guess the possibility of what I am indicating here would be a very unfortunate state for someone.

    Let us consider some of the things that encourage sex desire and some of the benefits of controlled sex desire.

    One thing is getting very serious control of the diet just to have reasonable control of sex desire.

    Also consider the power of great souls who had control of their sex desire.

    Dandavats dasa

    Text me at 12138062855



    • It can happen that someone is horribly addicted to sex. Kubja got pure devotion liberation, but she is not considered true Gopi-Bhava. Therefore there is hope even  for sex addicts to realize pure devotional service in Krsna consciousness.  

      Perhaps we can make a list of benefits believed to result from sex and a list of benefits from celibacy. I am inclined to believe that we will see more benefits from celibacy. 

      Some people may be overly attached to sex or even addicted. Actually having one child after the next may be a case of too much attachment to sex. 

      Whatever the case there is a serious need to get control of the sex desire. We can study so many topics relevant to controlling sex desire. Serious and sincere study of Vaisnava approved teachings should help.  However there are a few essentials we need to hold on to with as much strength as possible at regarding the struggle to maintain very serious control of sex desire.  

      Diet control : Diet control is stressed so many times in the Sastra. Try to eat light. Avoid luxurious foods as much as possible. If possible advance to eating plain and frugal. Check with your professional health care provider about Fasting. This may take months and years to more fully master.

      We need to continually work on cleaning our heart, cleaning our mind, cleaning our body, cleaning our clothing, cleaning our living arrangements, and cleaning our whole life. 

      I have already given some notes on this topic. 

      I noticed some preaching about sex on this ISKCON Desire Tree. Study these presentations if possible. 

      Your humble neighborhood beggar hankering for full Surrender to Hare Krsna Bhakti Yoga, 

      Dandavats dasa 


    • // 

      Perhaps we can make a list of benefits believed to result from sex and a list of benefits from celibacy. I am inclined to believe that we will see more benefits from celibacy. 


      The benefits of celibacy are essentially matters of perception. Some may perceive celibacy as something morally uplifting. For others it is no big deal. Either ways there are no tangible benefits. It only gives a fell-good effect. 

      However forceful abstinence will only lead to frustration and deprivation. Also segregation from the opposite genders can make one extremely socially awkward and unable to communicate with them. That takes a lot of toll on the confidence levels and self esteem. 

      So instead of looking at women as 'evil temptations' start looking at them as normal human beings. :)

    • I think people are going to be in unique situations.  It can depend on an individual's private circumstances. 

      Many people are probably going to have to struggle with sex desire so deeply ingrained into their emotions and psychology.   We may have some seeds for sex desire ingrained from previous lives.  Some of the seeds for sex desire may have to do with experiences at any time in our present life.  I think it is possible that some people get influenced by sex desire in some subtle way while still in the mother's womb.   

      People who do advocate consensual sex or sex in moderation will still have to draw the line somewhere and somehow. 

      I do not believe the effect of successful  abstinence is just some good feelings.  I believe there will be better brain, better determination, better health.  

      Perhaps researchers can organize a study to see if benefits for abstinence or moderation can be discerned. 

      There are some special considerations regarding relations between men and women.  Sometimes it is said that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. 

      When the Sastra complains about women that is not justification to treat women abusively nor neglectfuly.   

      I am inclined to believe that often it is better for men to stay with the men and women should stay with the women or children. 

      Of course, many people may not be ready to take up these Vedic, Vaisnava, nor Hare Krsna Bhakti Yoga standards right-away. 

      Thanks and Hare Krsna! 

  • // It is my deepest desire to have no sexual attraction towards women.//

    Sorry to say but this is neither possible nor desirable. Do you realize what you're asking for? Not having any sexual attraction towards opposite sex is a disease and a sign of impotency. A healthy sex life is a sign of happy and stress free couple. Yes, the activity has a lot of physical and psychological benefits.

    //I try to focus my mind and keep it from wavering, but I am unable to restrain myself from wandering towards sexual thoughts.//

    That's what repression does to you. A thirsty person always thinks of water. Drinking too much water can also make you uncomfortable. That's how your sex life should be. The key word is- Balance. There is a BIG difference between avoiding sex addiction and avoiding sexual activity. Former is a problem. Latter is healthy and natural. :)

    //I want to cleanse my mind of sexual thoughts and become completely free of attraction towards any woman. //

    Please don't. It is unnatural and unhealthy.

  • Hare Krsna!


    I think the quote of letter from Srila Prabhupada is to the Sankarsana dasa Adhikari who is now world traveled initiating Diksa Guru.

    I'm afraid I must humbly admit the difficulty I have had simply being obedient to Srila Prabhupada instruction.  I wonder how much it could be said that Srila Prabhupada is speaking from the platform of an upper class Hindu Vaisnava.  In Srila Prabhupada's reality it is a reality to simply say no to sex desire.  I am just thinking that for some people, at least in the Americas, saying "No" to sex desire is like unto walking on water or just a fantastic dream. 

    I have attempted to put together some notes that I hope will be helpful to some people in defeating this enemy which seems to be an enemy within.  The nature of this enemy is that there may be problems deep in someone's mind or intelligence that makes it difficult to always say "No" to sex desire.

    Sex Addiction

    *You do not have to flog yourself, get crucified or become a martyr.

    *It is hard when living with or around those who have unhealthy habits.   Hold fast to what is healthy materially and spiritually.

    *Keep anything sensual, suggestive, or sexual far distant...

    *Be careful about when eating, how much eating, and try not to eat too luxurious...

    *Try to avoid eating and sleeping too much...

    *Stay in good association that is not supportive of illicit sex...

    *Stay very active serving the devotees of the Supreme God...

    *Agriculture can help people to stay busy and their mind off of the lower bodily parts enjoyments if they are keeping with Bhakti yoga somehow.

    *Try to always hear and chant God's glories and glorious Holy Names...

    *Try to cultivate spiritual knowledge by study of authorized Vaisnava teachings. 

    *Always thinking of how to be of service to the Supreme God...

    *Of course, the Hare Krsna method requires following four regulative principles.  (no meat-eating, no illicit sex, no intoxication, no gambling)  But, we can see that meat-eating contributes to sex desire because eating too much luxury food contributes to possibility of sex desire.  Intoxication contributes to sex desire.  Apparently, these unhealthy activities help each other to drive people into worse and worse unhealthy living.

    *We should try to follow these four regulative principles very strictly, but also try to make sure our thoughts, words, and deeds are saintly and godly.  Our true eternal nature is Godly.

    *It is more ideal to keep means of livelihood and living arrangements simple. 

    Anyone with sex problems or even sex addiction should try the above mentioned tips.  

    NoI 1: A sober person who can tolerate the urge to speak, the mind's demands, the actions of anger and the urges of the tongue, belly and genitals is qualified to make disciples all over the world.

    NoI 2: One's devotional service is spoiled when he becomes too entangled in the following six activities: (1) eating more than necessary or collecting more funds than required; (2) overendeavoring for mundane things that are very difficult to obtain; (3) talking unnecessarily about mundane subject matters; (4) Practicing the scriptural rules and regulations only for the sake of following them and not for the sake of spiritual advancement, or rejecting the rules and regulations of the scriptures and working independently or whimsically; (5) associating with worldly-minded persons who are not interested in Krishna consciousness; and (6) being greedy for mundane achievements.

    NoI 3: There are six principles favorable to the execution of pure devotional service: (1) being enthusiastic, (2) endeavoring with confidence, (3) being patient, (4) acting according to regulative principles (such as sravanam kirtanam vishnoh smaranam [SB 7.5.23] -- hearing, chanting and remembering Krishna), (5) abandoning the association of nondevotees, and (6) following in the footsteps of the previous acaryas. These six principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.

    NoI 4: Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing one's mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially, accepting prasada and offering prasada are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another.

    In these modern times sex is so much easier with contraceptives, modern conveniences, with plenty of encouragement for sex in media such as photos, magazines, books, music, movies, and so much on the internet. 

    I have noticed how much Vaisnava saints have gone through at times in the effort to renounce sex desire.  Bilvamangala Thakura had to put his eyes out in a horrifying manner.  It is so difficult to survive without eyesight.  It would be better to learn how to keep our eyes under control. 

    Chota Haridas committed suicide.  We should not have to commit suicide.  It may be hard work for some people to get so realized they can simply always successfully say "No" to sex desire.  But, we should not give up hope.  We can offer so much service on behalf of Srila Prabhupada's Guru Parampara with out human body. 

    Please note that the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee in another appears to be applicable to a family or household as well as for a group of renunciants. 

    I did see in one place where Srila Prabhupada recommended marriage for someone had too much sex desire or masturbation.  This may be more an option for the younger crowd. Marriage in Krsna consciousness is a major topic in itself. 

    I did not see an option to make this posting completely anonymous.  I will have to risk posting with indication of my identity. 

    May Lord Sri Krsna always shower you all with many blessings, sublime transcendental knowledge, and advancement in pure devotion to the Supreme God!
    Your friend and neighbor,
    Dandavats dasa

    Religious servant of God
    at ॐ Hare Krsna Farms


    • Hare Krishna. Thanks for the detailed reply Prabhuji. Dandavat Pranaam.

      Yours humbly,



    31 December, 1972

    Srila Prabhupada:

    My dear Sankarasana,

    Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated December 5, 1972, and I have noted the contents carefully.

    So far your difficulty for controlling the sex urge, my advice in that connection is that the more you become Krsna conscious, that sex urge can be checked. That is the only way for checking the sex urge. First thing is, you have made promise when you took initiation that there will be no illicit sex connection. *If still you are unable to fulfill that promise to your spiritual master, then what is the use of calling yourself devotee and disciple? That is simply pretending.*

    So you should think like this, that I have promised my spiritual master this, now I must obey him without any exception, otherwise I have no business calling myself his disciple. *That will be your austerity or tapasya for forcing you to make very rapid advancement in Krsna conscious understanding.* Without tapasya there is no question of making advancement.

    So if still the material nature is so much attractive to you that you are unable to sacrifice things in this way, then better you give up the whole thing and do as you like outside. But if you want to call yourself devotee and serve Krsna in that capacity, then you must avoid these four basic principle restrictions under all circumstances, without any exceptions.

    Of course once, twice, Krsna may excuse, that is not very difficult, but more than that it will become very difficult for Krsna to excuse you and there is great risk that everything will be lost despite all of your time and effort spent.

    You have got some desire to become a famous preacher and famous Vaisnava singer and also jagad-guru. This is a spiritual desire, so it is not like any material desire and it is all right to desire for Krsna in this way. but great Vaisnava or famous Vaisnava means that you have no sex desire.

    Whether you can be like that? First of all you be like that, without any sex desire, then you think famous Vaisnava. Vaisnava means he has no material desire, what to speak of sex desire. All material desires become zero, even he has no desire for jnana, karma, like that.

    Hoping this meets you in good health,

    Your ever well-wisher,
    A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
    • I think that Srila Prabhupada tended to speak from a certain platform and this may have been difficult for some spiritual aspirants. 

      Yes, always Hare Krsna Bhakti Yoga! Maha Maya is always ready to serve the conditioned soul with more entanglement in the material existence. 

      In Hare Krsna Bhakti Yoga we should not have to fast unto death like the Jains.  But there is often the need to be very strict about the diet. 


      We need to continually work on cleaning our heart, cleaning our mind, cleaning our body, cleaning our clothing, cleaning our living arrangements, and cleaning our whole life. 


      Thanks and Hare Krsna! 

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